How has your drinking been during these last uncertain months of Lockdown?
Has it increased? And are you comfortable with that increase?
Do you feel confident that, as your new normal emerges, you will be able to step away from your evening relaxing/calming (oh that it were!) Wine O’clock routine, or do you have an nagging suspicion that something has settled within you, some feeling of ‘need’ that will be harder to shift?
And how does that nagging suspicion show up to you?
Many of my clients talk about their ‘Wine Witch’. Do you? Do you talk about a dreaded, destructive someone who comes zooming in on a broomstick enticing you back to the bottle, after you have promised yourself you are not going there, or not today anyway.
And what does your Wine Witch say to you? Maybe words of entrapment along the lines of;
- “Have just the one”
- “You deserve it”
- “You’ve had a long day, why not start tomorrow”
- “Don’t deprive yourself of something you love”
- “You’ll be ok this time, this time you can stop at one”
- “It’s not that bad”
And all the rest. Recognize her now?
And as she casts her alcohol spell, you give in. You drink, you feel rubbish, weak a failure, and blame your Wine Witch…..well you have to blame someone don’t you? I mean you don’t deliberately want to feel terrible, physically and emotionally, when you see the faces of shattered trust of your loved ones the next day.
And so you focus on getting rid of this mad, unkind, destructive demon who goads you into drinking, but here’s the truth.
Your Wine Witch is not your enemy, she is not outside you, she doesn’t come unbidden, out of nowhere or because of any clock time.
Instead, she comes when she is needed, when you are in need.
She comes to comfort you, to support you, to offer you the love and connection you are lacking in the moment, that you may have some sense that you are missing, but have lost the sight of how to deliver back what you need, and so you turn to alcohol. That is the truth.
You are not in ‘parts’, so there is no part of you that wants to hurt you.
There is confusion about how to offer and deliver you what you need, but no malignant part of you that wants you to fail, that wants to destroy your health, happiness, peace, calm or love of yourself or others.
Your are designed to live in awareness and connectedness of who you are, what you need and how to deliver it. That is called your instinct.
However, life situations and learning’s from others, in this instance around alcohol, have taught you to believe, that alcohol is the problem. That alcohol is a battle you can never win, that you have to abstain for ever. That changing the way you drink means giving up for life, that changing the way you drink will be hard and painful and worth it, but still a battle that will need constant supervision to stop you going back. And what you believe, you see, feel and you hear, all around you.
Here’s another truth. When you go into battle over alcohol, ‘To Drink, or Not To Drink’, you are going into conflict with yourself around your beliefs about alcohol, not with alcohol.
You are duking it out with your Conscious Mind, your learned ‘knowing’, pitted against your Unconscious Mind, you learned ‘feeling’.
Now you think your Conscious ‘knowing’ would win, but against your Unconscious ‘feeling’, (that has no language, just feels, so doesn’t even know what alcohol is), it never, ever stands a chance.
And the more you Conscious knowing berates you for drinking, the more your hurt Unconscious sends up alcohol as the method of comfort and support.
The worse you think, the worse you feel, the more you drink, to comfort yourself.
Your Conscious Mind is the voice that tells you “DON’T!”. “Don’t be so weak, what’s wrong with you, you’re useless, you know this will end badly” and that voice is stern, unkind, lecturing and makes you feel bad – and this is often referred to as the Angel…..strangely, as this Angel can be pretty dammed abusive.
And in response to the hurt your Conscious Mind inflicts on you, to comfort and support you, Unconscious Mind, your ‘Wine Witch’ kicks in.
Softer and kinder in tone, having no idea what alcohol is, or what it does to you, she is determined to hold you, to protect you. and in her lack of knowing what alcohol is and does to you, she feels you are trying to deny yourself comfort when you need it most.
Your Unconscious Mind is your super loving, super confused, super power, who will do anything and everything in her power to offer you love, and that is who your Wine Witch is.
Your Wine Witch is, (in intention), your deaf, mute, unknowing, only ‘feeling’, Guardian Angel, who exists only in response to your needing comfort from ‘bad’ feelings. But because the reality (so very different from her intention behind it), is that her method of comfort harms you more, you have grown to fear and hate her arrival.
Imagine now if instead of criticizing yourself when your alcohol thoughts drift in, you were to pause, take a couple of long, slow deep breathes, and to ask yourself with gentle love, “What am I looking for right now?” “What do I need to do for me?” and then waited and listened.
The true answer of what you are looking for, would appear from within you, your need for rest, comfort, communication, quiet, nourishment, physically, emotionally or both. Whatever it is you are lacking in that moment when your old alcohol thinking came up, which you then delivered.
What do you think would happen then? Well, you reconnect with YOU.
You re-connect with who you are and what you need, and in that place of self-awareness, self-compassion, self-care your step back in to self, yourself.
You step back into trust and communication with you. That is the you that has no ‘need’, no cravings, no feelings of anxiety or deprivation around alcohol, because alcohol was never what you were looking for. You were looking for what you were lacking, and you were lacking the love and understanding of YOU.
When you have that re-connection, you have the peace, balance and harmony in life you were designed to live in, to be, and in that place, all your alcohol confusion and your loving Wine Witch simply drifts away, allowing your drinking to change naturally and effortlessly.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
Changing your drinking is not hard, and the life your drinking has given you is. And changing your drinking doesn’t have to mean ‘never again’, it simply has to be that are free to choose when you drink, not to feel you have no choice.
But you only stay stuck for as long as you choose to. You may have tried many times to stop and instead found yourself on the nightmare hamster wheel of your Stop/Start cycle instead, and that is because you have tried the same formula of not picking up the glass and hoping everything else will fall into place. Sadly, you know this doesn’t work, and knowing that, and knowing that you long to be free of your alcohol stress, anxiety and pain, you have to do something else.
I offer that something else. I created the unique 6 week, 1-2-1 RAPID ALCOHOL RECOVERY METHOD coaching process, based on my own sudden, effortless freedom from 28 years of out of control drinking.
It is not a freedom that comes with the caveats of control or relying on willpower, it is the freedom of choice and peace, and if you have understood this blog, if my thinking resonates with you, it the freedom that is on offer to you too.
There will never be a time that is more right for change your drinking than today, because you only have today to decide if you want to end your depressing stop/start cycles, you fear, your anxiety and you hangovers.
If you choose today, you have started your journey to effortless freedom. If you choose tomorrow, you have lost another joyful day. Which do you choose? Here’s the RAPID ALCOHOL RECOVERY METHOD link again in case you missed it earlier.
I know the ONLY hard part of changing the way you drink is reaching out, so don’t let that stand in your way. I offer a complimentary confidential conversation, so all you have to do is say to yourself “Enough” and contact me HERE,
Finally, if you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
How are you feeling today, after yesterday’s daily struggle with drinking?
Even if you don’t have a hangover, even if you managed to ‘control’ how much you drank, can you do it again tonight, tomorrow night, for a week, a month, and how much energy, exhausting mental and physical energy, will you have to put into it?
You know that the way you drink hurts you, on a level that is so deep, it feels as though it scars your soul.
The wounds of seeing your children’s anxious, watchful eyes waiting to see how you will react over small incidents, or no incidents, just a little bit more noise or mess, cuts you in half.
Maybe your children are older, but their pain is still the same, worrying and fearful wanting to ring you, not wanting to hear your drunken voice. It’s all the same.
The shouty, snappy impatient you they see, is not who you are and is absolutely not a reflection of your love for them – that huge well of love that makes you want to scoop them up and hold them until your heart and theirs feel as one.
But sadly, that is not who they see or how they believe you feel about them. You see the confusion and hurt and lack of safety in your love staring back at you, and you go into the bathroom and cry.
And all this, because of your struggle, your daily, painful struggle with bloody alcohol.
The struggle of “Today I won’t/Just the one”, the exhausting mind chatter, that robs you and your loves of the peace you all deserve, especially now when you are at home all day. Shouldn’t this be an opportunity to be closer, not further apart?
So feeling the way you do, and seeing what your drinking is doing to you and your loves, what stops you reaching out and making the commitment to you, to let go, for once and for all, of your drinking nightmare?
For most, it is the fear of failure – and yet you feel you are failing anyway.
Or the fear of how you will cope/be without alcohol – and yet you despair of your lack of coping, and who you are, with alcohol
Or the fear of trying again, and failing – because everything you have tried before has had the same approach and so the same results, just packaged differently.
Everything you fear about change stems from 3 beliefs you currently hold
1 Your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief
2 Your ‘Changing the way you drink will be hard‘, belief
3 Your ‘You can never drink again’ belief
I too used to believe all 3, for 28 painful years, and they 100% were the walls of my alcohol prison, and now they are gone.
Those old beliefs are not smashed, or broken – our beliefs are who we are, they create our reality, and we can never smash or break who we, are or our reality, what on earth would we be left with?
All that you need to let go of your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief, is simply a new way of thinking, backed up consistently by easy self-loving actions, that cost you nothing and enhance every step of your empowering journey to peace and freedom around alcohol.
Changing belief’s, even your long held ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief, is not hard, I promise you. It is literally down to a simple formula of, LIVING + FEELING = BELIEVING.
Living (your new beliefs, which I coach you too), plus Feeling (your new beliefs, free from your struggle and stress) which together allow you to effortlessly believe your new reality where alcohol, does not even feature as any sort of Solution. Where alcohol is just another beverage, an occasional treat, that you can take or leave, because your real, empowering solution is YOU!
Changing the way you drink is not hard, I promise you, you simply don’t know how too, and I do.
My empowering and unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process gifts you the peaceful freedom from your exhausting, conflicting mind chatter.
It allows for the gentle release of your ‘Alcohol is the Solution’ belief, and with that one gone, the other two beliefs just don’t exist! And you are gifted back the woman and mother you deserve to be, that you truly are, for you and your loves.
How utterly wonderful is that?
Don’t wait for a tomorrow that never comes, don’t try another, yet the same, quit drinking process, packaged with a different name, it won’t work. You know that, because by God have you tried!
NOW is the time to change your drinking and transform your life, so what’s stopping you? If you would like a confidential chat, contact me, you are trapped only as long as you allow yourself to be.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
PS. Here’s a recent client testimonial – I absolute respect all my clients desire for confidentiality, so I never use names.
“I ‘forgot’ to drink on Saturday! I forgot and I have never forgotten to drink in the last 15 years. I know we agreed on 2 nights a week, because I wanted that, but I find I only drink on one. I am euphoric at how easy this process is. Thank you, thank you, thank you”
If you would like to join a supportive, loving community of amazing women who are on the same journey to letting go of thier ‘Alcohol is the Solution’ belief, why not join my private facebook group, The Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method, (click here to request joining https://bit.ly/2UpNdZU ). It’s a loving safe space where I share tips and training and you get the support and care of the rest of our lovely lot!
If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
How many times have you woken up hungover, embarrassed, ashamed and said ‘Never again’ to the Demon Drink?
You have made the decision to stop, or to cut down, and you have done it! For a couple of days week, a month, maybe even longer………… and then gone back, maybe with the intention of ‘just the one’ and found yourself free falling in to your old ‘I can’t control it’ drinking habits, and feel you have ‘failed’ again.
Welcome to your Stop/Start drinking cycle, an inexplicable cycle that you just can’t explain.
However I can, and on a very basic level, here it is.
- You drink, you get drunk, you feel rubbish you STOP
- You don’t drink, you feel great, you feel energized, happier, more confident, more alive, and proud. Something shifts. You decide to ‘reward’ yourself, and you START. Again.
Now there can be many variations on why you STOP, there is only ONE reason why you START again.
For your STOP, maybe you frightened yourself by your drinking, maybe you upset someone very special, you know why you make the change.
And it seems to be the same with why you START again. Maybe someone upset you, you found yourself completely stressed, overwhelmed, unable to cope with a situation or just bored or lonelier.
However, there is only every one reason you START again, and that is to make yourself ‘feel better’. This is the absolute truth, even of the ‘reward’ reason.
You don’t reward yourself for feeling brilliant. You are not in ‘need’ of reward then, the brilliant feeling IS the reward.
Instead you reward yourself for your achievement, in your case of not drinking, of doing so well.
Yet the very need for ‘reward’ means that you are feel something slightly lower, maybe the voice chatter has come risen a few decibels and it has become harder to ignore it, or you are tireder, just a little, of having to try. Whatever it is (and the unable to cope situations are much easier to understand), something you unconsciously feel, is not quite as good, and you start to drink again.
And then, again, inexplicably you find yourself unable to stop. What on earth has happened to you?
It is actually very simple, – you drink to make yourself ‘feel better’, I think you know that, and whilst it is not the result, it is always the intention.
And behind that intention is your powerful, ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief, which is kept safe and protected in your Wonder Woman strength, super power of your Unconscious Mind.
And it doesn’t matter why this belief was created, it really is irrelevant, it is how you maintain and re-enforce that belief now that needs to be shifted.
Whilst you are in the STOP phase of your cycle, and you really are feeling better, even fabulous, and your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief is not needed, so it sits quietly enjoying your peace and wellbeing – the very things it wants to deliver to you.
But when you don’t feel so good – and that not feeling so good, can be as small as a bad nights sleep which leaves you feeling less able to cope, or an argument with a loved one, maybe an idiot on the road, or when you are in need of ‘reward’ – any time when you find yourself if need of comfort and/or support your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief lovingly rears its head, to offer you that comfort, and if you then try to deny it without offering an alternative to your need, your Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief comes raging back, to offer you whatever it is that you are missing, and you drink. Again.
That is all that happens. Do you recognize you here?
Letting go of your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief is the ONLY way to find peaceful freedom and to change your drinking effortlessly. But you cannot break, bully or control any belief that has an intention of wanting to comfort you. Your beliefs create our reality, and you cannot smash your reality, because ultimately you are trying to smash you, which makes your need for comfort (alcohol) even stronger!
Instead, you need to let go of the belief that alcohol is any comfort, to release the emotional attachment you have to it, but that cannot be done with talking, reasoning or any form of intellect.
Releasing my Alcohol is the SOLUTION belief, is how I became peacefully sober after 28 years when I had given up all hope of trying to change with any other method, and guiding you to it is now my area of absolute passion and expertise.
I created the unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process, which allows you to find your peace and freedom around alcohol effortlessly, by dealing with your drinking ‘problem’ at its cause, your innocently learned, there to comfort you, Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief.
Once that is done, you have no cravings, or need for willpower, alcohol is no longer good or bad, it is a drink, you can take or leave, and so there is nothing to fight over.
The process starts with a loving deep dive into how your Unconscious Mind has learnt to believe alcohol is the solution – not ‘why’, but ‘how’ – it represents alcohol, & what your Unconscious Mind feels it brings to you. This is a huge part of why my work is so unique and life changing.
That is followed by you understanding the exact 3 step process you go through every single time you pick up your first glass, and the picking up is the last part. I work from the other way around, letting go of the first step, leaves no other steps to follow.
Freedom from the way you drink, (a freedom that is about changing the way you drink, not stopping for ever) comes from removing the emotional charge, (the feeling) of the ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief, behind your drinking.
However, my work not only offer you freedom from your hangover, it is also freedom from despair, unhappiness, disappointment, shame, fear of failing, fear of not being the mother, partner you long to be, freedom from a life that is stress, anxiety and struggle, all of which is created by the time and energy you spend on your STOP/START cycle.
There has never been a time where your emotional and physical wellbeing is more imperative for you and for you loves, so there has never been a time where you need to end your STOP/START cycle more, and to step back into the woman you were born to be.
The price of anything is the amount of LIFE you exchange for it. How much, and for how long you paid, in LIFE the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial costs of your drinking, and how much longer are you prepared to pay those heavy prices?
The hardest part of changing your drinking is reaching out, from there, I take you on a journey of relief, release and joy, so if you would like a confidential chat, to see how I can best support you, message me and I will do the rest. The life you deserve is waiting for, are you ready for it?
Be kind and gentle with yourself.
PS. Here’s a recent client TESTIMONIAL. This amazing women is now 6 months free and sent me this, plus a follow up testimonial last week, to remind me how she was just 3 weeks into the process. She didn’t want to a ‘never again’ solution, she just wanted to freedom from your daily alcohol ‘need’, her endless mind chatter and exhausting struggle, and she has them all, effortlessly.
“From 2 bottles a night, from hiding and lying to my family, I haven’t drunk EASILY in 3 weeks and the difference is everything to me. My children come to me for a cuddle and I don’t shrug them off anymore. I only did that because I didn’t want them to smell the alcohol, but as you said, they didn’t know that was the reason. I feel joy, real joy now when we sit and watch the tv together, not thinking about wine. In fact I can’t even imagine what I was thinking before. Thanks Sonia”
Would you like to be where this amazing client is? Here’s the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method link again in case you missed it earlier.
If you would like to join a supportive, loving community of amazing women who are on the same journey to letting go of their ‘Alcohol is the Solution’ belief, why not join my private Facebook group, From Alcohol Pain to Peace. It’s a loving safe space where I share tips and training and you get the support and care of the rest of our lovely lot!
If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
- You know deep down that you have to change your drinking.
- You know that the way you drink affects every area of your life, that you can’t compartmentalize alcohol, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself you can, and
- You know that the way you drink robs you and your loves, of joy, peace, freedom and the very best version of you.
Every morning you look in the mirror and and feel the familiar sob of sadness and despair for the dull eyed women staring back at you. You can’t remember the last time you woke up feeling rested, happy and proud of yourself.
You know you don’t look or feel your best, you need better sleep, more focus, more patience, more calm and you know, absolutely, that changing the way you drink will bring you a happy, healthier, more balanced and energized life.
Yet with everything you know, you struggle to make what should be simple changes around alcohol – maybe you don’t want to drink every night, or even just to drink less every night -it doesn’t matter, because whatever your morning decision is around alcohol, by the time evening comes, you drink. Again. Why?
It’s very simple. You don’t drink because of what you know, you drink because of what you feel. Or more specifically, you drink to comfort the way you feel. And your conflicting knowing and feeling are the root cause of the alcohol war you wage within you, every damn day.
Imagine now that you can change, and easily. That your inner war can be resolved, not by brutal defeat, but by a different and gentle understanding, that shifts your thinking and feeling into peaceful alignment. Where both sides are working for you, together.
Can you imagine that? What would your life look like, and how would you feel? There is an easy way to change the way you drink, it is the Alcohol Freedom Blueprint.
The Alcohol Freedom Blueprint is a 90 minute intensive session, that is the simple solution to finding freedom from your exhausting inner battle. It changes the way you drink immediately, by removing the stress and anxiety of thinking something is wrong with you, as well as offering you a clear way forward to delivering you back to the life of peace and joy you deserve, free from your alcohol ‘need’
From your 90 minute Alcohol Freedom Blueprint Session, you will,
- Understand the exact 3 step process you go through every single time you have to drink – and how to lovingly let go of that process at the very first step, so that you can feel comfortable and in control of your alcohol choices
- End your exhausting alcohol mind chatter, so that you have the inner quiet to focus on the joys of your life
- Find freedom from your triggers, so that you don’t waste your life enhancing energy on working out strategies for avoidance, and instead you can lavish that energy on you and your loves.
- Receive 2 personalized strategies to empower you, so that you gain joyful confidence in yourself, free from your anxious fears of deprivation
The complete Alcohol Freedom Blueprint is a completely unique process that turns everything you have read and learned about changing the way you drink on its head!
Its power and effectiveness comes from the understanding that your drinking was your ‘solution’, long before it became your problem, and that reason you struggle to make the changes you long for is that your ‘alcohol is the solution‘ belief is still trapped inside you.
Doesn’t it make sense now, that when you try to stop drowning in your ‘alcohol is the solution’, it’s going to be the hardest way to change? I mean, take away your ‘solution’ and what are you left with? Problems………..
Instead, The Alcohol Blueprint Freedom, unravels and releases the ‘alcohol is the solution’ belief, effortlessly.
The Alcohol Blueprint Freedom IS for you if,
- You know that ‘enough is enough’, & your desire to change the way you drink has become greater than your pain of staying where you are.
- You are ready to take responsibility for YOU
- You are ready to step into the woman you truly are, free from the pain of your drinking
- You are ready to embrace a process that will change your life with an open mind
But it is NOT for you if,
- You are not prepared to show up as YOU, every day.
- You are looking for a magic wand – you are the magic
- You are not ready to own your choices
- You are not ready to embrace the life of freedom that awaits you
The Alcohol Freedom Blueprint starts with you completing a deep dive questionnaire, designed to uncover your beliefs around what alcohol is to you and how you believe you will feel / cope without it, as well as asking what interventions (if any) have tried before, why you believe they didn’t work, and finally, how you would like to think, feel and act around alcohol.
This is followed up by a 90 minute, highly personalized Zoom session, where you will,
- Be coached through the 3 step process you go through every time you drink
- Know exactly you believe alcohol offers to you – this is always a huge surprise and a big Ah Ha moment!
- Identify the conflicting voices in your head, of “Have a drink / Don’t have a drink”, and how to end the battle, peacefully, with both sides acknowledged and understood
At the end of the 90 minutes, you get a your full session replay to download and watch again and again, to keep you fully supported on your journey.
So, how do I know how to help you, when nothing else has worked?
Well, I struggled for 28, long, painful years with alcohol. My drinking wrecked my son’s childhood and almost took my life.
I tried every therapy, sane and crack pot, out there to end my out of control drinking and nothing worked. Nothing.
Then 7 years ago I was told that if I didn’t stop drinking, I would die. But obviously I didn’t know how to stop, because believe me, if I did, I would have done it years before!
And instead, heartbreakingly, in my fear, confusion and overwhelming feelings of being a total failure, I started to drink more as I gave up on life, on my son, on me.
I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t the mum he deserved. He would be better off without me.
And then I did stop! Out of nowhere, a miracle occurred (or so I thought), and it was effortless.
I was ‘lucky’ enough to have a glimmer of awareness about a possible alternative truth behind my drinking, and that glimmer was enough to shift my thinking the tiniest bit, the slightest movement, that told me that maybe, just maybe, what I had believed about my drinking, wasn’t the only truth, and that there was more to see. And so I started to look, to investigate, to research, to learn and to implement what I found.
Now, 6 years effortlessly sober, peacefully free, in a space of quiet joy and love with myself, my son and life, I have re-created the exact process of the journey to freedom I embarked on and shrunk it down into the programs I now offer, with absolute compassion and love to YOU. x
“For over 10 years I’ve struggled and tried various recovery methods including 3 stays in rehab. I’ve finally got the effortless freedom from alcohol that Sonia promises,. I can’t remember feeling happy. I am me. Thank you Sonia. I’m truly grateful” x
The investment for the life changing 90 minute ALCOHOL FREEDOM BLUEPRINT 90 MINUTE SESSION, is only £394
If you would like to know more about how this will work for you in your life, let’s have a confidential conversation, all you have to do is click to request a call below
Your world has shifted yet again! I wonder how many more times I will write that. Now you are in Lockdown, severely restricted around leaving your home, or doing any of the things you have taken for granted for so long, and without any real idea when it will end.
Your health and the health of your loved ones is uncertain, schools closed, business closing, and you seem to have very little control over the future – your morale keeps dipping, not matter how hard you try to keep it up there.
My loves and I are safe and well, so I know how fortunate I am, but of course I still my dips too, and my most recent, in the scheme of things small, but at the time to me big, came about because I had planned, since January, to take My Girls (my 2 doglets) on a walking holiday in March. Three days of much needed re-connecting with myself and of regrouping on every physical and emotional level, as the three of us walked around the coastline. I had booked a chalet on the beach in Devon, and it is literally my idea of heaven. I have been going there 4 times a year for over 30 years.
I went when my mother was killed, 29 years ago and when my Dad finally passed in October 2018.
I have been visiting the same place, and do the same things, through the highs and lows of my life, and I feel at my most connected there, so to not go, and the decision made one day before I was due to leave, was a real blow to me, even though I knew in the previous week, it was unlikely to happen.
Plus, I lost my money, which no-one can afford to do right now. So, on the morning of my departure date, which was the first day of Lockdown, I was feeling very dispirited and low.
Then I took My Girls for our walk. I went to a lovely wood close to my home. The sun was shining, and My Girls, as usual, almost combusted with joy – honestly they act as though every bit of food they get is the first mouthful they have been fed in a month, and every walk as a release from their ‘chained-up-in-a-shed’ lives – it is so embarrassing, especially as they are treated like princesses!
Anyway, as we walked, the sun warmed my face, comforting my disappointment, anxiety and fears, and I felt my jaw loosen and my breathing slow as I took in the gifts of the world I am so blessed to live in.
There are always very precious gifts that remain all around you, regardless of what is going on in life.
The daffodils were still growing, the birds still soaring above, the huge Red Kites dipping down and gliding back up above my head.
And then I noticed something else, in this state of national emergency, when travel is restricted, the blue sky was, an unseen in the last 20 years of my life, an uninterrupted expanse without the constant planes overhead and the wood, close to the road as it was, silent of the cars that usually rushed past.
In the midst of all this turmoil, our plant, our Mother Earth is breathing a deep, long, grateful sigh of relief that we have stopped our ‘doing’ and she is allowed to regroup, to heal, to flourish again.
You must take this opportunity to do the same. You have been stopped in your ‘doing’ tracks, and now is the time to ‘be’.
To become close to one another again emotionally, if not physically, by reaching out to the aunt/uncle/friend that is always on your ‘I’ll must call them, tomorrow will be easier’ list – a tomorrow that as you know too well, never comes.
Now you have the time to set up a virtual coffee and chat. Make it a different person every day, maybe even make some a weekly event. Do this at least every other day. Connect with them, talk to them, nourish and be nourished by your contact with them.
Reach out to the nightmare family member – just by text if that’s all you can face (they are still a nightmare) – check in on them, tell them you are thinking of them and if you love them, tell that too. Do it for your sake, and let that ripple out.
You don’t have to pretend to be best buds, but knowing that you should reach out, and then doing it, will give you a level of peace you need.
Be kinder to yourself. Get to know who you really are, and what you really need. Relax into the enforced ‘stopping’ of your rushing around, in your attempts to acquire the ‘stuff’ you feel you need, but is not necessary, is actually irrelevant and sometimes even damaging, to your ‘being’
Make a list of the books you would like to read, and then buy/download one a week. Listen to an audio book as you move more gently through your day.
Do some loving decluttering, the physical letting go of no longer needed objects also enables you to let go of the no longer needed thoughts and feelings.
Create more space in you inner and outer world.
These small things will start to gift you back the peace and balance and contentedness that you lack, and it is the lack in your life that is the fuel of your drinking.
The universe has created this time for you. This is a time of transformation on every level. And not only is now the time, now, you have the time.
The time to heal, if you choose to.
If you use this now wisely, it will be the greatest investment of your time you will ever make.
Stuff the new car, the new clothes, the holidays, etc – the things you buy to make you ‘feel better’.
Take this time to be the person who truly feels better, who is better because of your new ‘being‘. Now is the time, like our planet, for you to start your self-loving process of healing.
All this will pass, and whilst you go through this process, be very kind and gentle with yourself.
There has never been a more a more important time for you to invest in being your best physical and emotional self, and you know that alcohol takes you further from that you.
You cannot know where you will be in 6 weeks time in your outer world, hopefully things will be more normal, but you can’t be sure of that.
However, I can tell you 100%, that if you do take responsibility now to invest in you, you will effortlessly return to being the quietly naturally resilient woman you were born to be, able and confident in your abilities to give and receive the care, love you need and deserve without any need of alcohol to ‘get you through your days’. That is the is the result you will have at the end of the 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process.
If you know, within you that now is your time to invest and commit to YOU, contact me here to book an Exploratory Call