Dec 23, 2024
It’s getting closer🎄🎄 …..the ‘magical’ time of year, that is hard work, joyful, sad, expensive, exhausting – a mass of conflicting emotions, all wrapped into one package called, Christmas…..
The message of Christmas is one of joy, connection, and a wonderful celebration of love and life.
Christmas is supposed to be a season of joy, love, and connection. But for you, especially if you’re struggling with your drinking, it might feel like a time of tension, guilt, and overwhelm.
The invitations to parties, the endless glasses of prosecco, the stress of family dynamics, maybe struggling with loneliness or grief, there is a huge spectrum of emotions that are amplified at Christmas, all of which can you leave you wondering: “
“How the hell am I going to get through all this without feeling stressed, anxious and out of control?“
Well, I’m telling you now that you DON’T have to dread this Christmas.
You CAN be completely in control of your drinking choices
You CAN enjoy a social drink and wake up the next morning, peaceful, happy, proud and loving life, and
You CAN make the best choices for you, and your family with grace and ease.
And the secret to a your happy, fulfilling Christmas starts with understanding the power of your choices and the BELIEFS that drive them!
Why Your Beliefs Shape Your Christmas Choices
When it comes to drinking, Christmas can amplify the tension between what you know and what you feel.
- You know another drink might leave you hungover tomorrow.
- You know you’ll feel guilty if you drink too much in front of the kids.
- You know alcohol won’t magically make family conflicts disappear.
But despite knowing all of this, there’s still that pull—the thought that “just one more” will make you feel better in the moment. That pull doesn’t come from alcohol itself; it comes from your beliefs about what alcohol can do for you.
For years, you may have believed that drinking is the answer to stress, that it helps you fit in, or that it makes Christmas more fun. And while those beliefs might have started as little stories you told yourself, they’ve become powerful drivers of your choices.
When Fear Takes Away Your Choices
You might recognize that you have a choice—to drink or not—but if you don’t believe change is possible, fear creeps in.
You fear that saying no will make you stand out.
You fear that it’ll feel hard, lonely, or boring.
You fear failing, again, if you try to cut back.
That fear can feel so big that it makes choice seem impossible. It’s easier to give in, to take the drink, and to deal with the regret later.
But here’s the truth: your fear is rooted in a belief—not in reality. And beliefs can change.
These beliefs live in your Unconscious Mind, which is your superpower designed to protect you and meet your needs.
The tension you feel—the struggle between wanting to stop drinking and giving in—comes from the conflict between your Conscious and Unconscious Minds.
You Unconscious mind doesn’t know what alcohol is; it has no language, no memory of the last time you felt out of control, and it can’t imagine the hangover, guilt, or shame you’ll feel tomorrow.
It acts only in the moment, seeking to comfort your uncomfortable emotions.
Meanwhile, your Conscious mind knows exactly what alcohol is and what it does to you.
It tries to pull you away from drinking because it knows the harm it causes.
This is not a fight with alcohol—it’s a fight within yourself. But once you understand this, you can finally break free and you do regain total power of your choices.
Shifting Into the Truth of Choice
When you start to believe that you do have a choice, everything changes.
Here’s how you can shift from fear and doubt to confidence and empowerment this Christmas:
1. Pause and Get Curious
When you feel the pull to drink, pause. Ask yourself: What do I really need right now?
Is it connection? Peace? Relief from stress? it could even be as simple as a cup of tea and some food…..
What it you will definitely discover it that it is not alcohol you want, but the feeling you believe it will give you.
2. Challenge the Belief
The belief that alcohol will make Christmas better is just that—a belief. Ask yourself: Is that really true?
Think back to past Christmases. Did drinking really deliver what you hoped for, or did it leave you feeling worse in the long run?
3. Play It Forward
Your Unconscious Mind acts in the moment—it doesn’t remember the hangovers or the guilt from last year. But your conscious mind does. Before you take that first drink, play the scenario forward in your mind. Imagine how you’ll feel the next day.
4. Create New Choices
Once you recognize the belief driving your desire to drink, you can choose something different. Maybe you’ll take a walk when you feel stressed, or grab a sparkling water instead of wine. Each small choice builds confidence and rewires your beliefs.
5. Embrace Boundaries
Protecting your energy is key. That might mean saying no to a party that feels too triggering or setting limits on how much time you spend with difficult family members. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re essential for your well-being.
A Christmas of Possibilities
This Christmas, you have the power to break free from old beliefs and make choices that align with the happiest, healthiest version of you.
It’s not about being perfect or never drinking again—it’s about understanding why you feel pulled toward alcohol and creating new ways to meet your needs.
When you believe in your ability to choose, the fear fades. You’ll feel stronger, more in control, and more able to show up as the best version of yourself for the people you love.
Your Next Step
If you’re ready to make this Christmas a turning point, I’d love to share my framework for fast and easy change. It’s all about recognizing your Unconscious Beliefs and the patterns you run before you drink, so you can say no with confidence and ease.
This Christmas doesn’t have to be a struggle. It can be a season of hope, joy, and transformation—and it starts with one simple choice. Let’s make it together.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control & MidLIFE Woman Coach
Dec 20, 2024
Is your relationship with alcohol easy and relaxed, allowing you to enjoy a social glass of wine and then stop, so that you remember the evening, wake clear headed , at peace with yourself and ready for the day?
Or is your relationship with alcohol destructive, painful, leaving you feeling out of control, guilty, hungover and ashamed?
And what would you give to be free from your relationship with alcohol? To feel the grace, ease and control around alcohol that others seem to have?
Waking up again today, ready and excited for work, I remember the 29 years of my drinking, that made no sense, that caused so much pain to myself and my son, and I am profoundly grateful that I know the truth of my old your relationship with alcohol, and how I changed it, which I am sharing now to help you change yours……
When you think about your relationship with alcohol, what thoughts do you run on helpless repeat?
Are you confused by the anxiety you feel at the thought of not drinking, and the fear you feel about not sticking with your two glass limit, and losing control again?
In all the years of my alcohol stress, pain, guilt and struggle, my focus was firmly on alcohol – on how much I drank, and trying to avoid/limit/change it, and nothing worked…..My focus was firmly on;
The devastating consequences of my drinking, and
On how to control my drinking
But the simple fact was, my relationship with alcohol was about so much more than alcohol.
And it also a fact that your relationship with alcohol is about so much more than alcohol too.
The real truth about mine (and your) daily drinking trap is about the tension inside you.
The pull between what you know, the results you see and feel after you drink – that it impacts your health, your relationships, your energy—and what you feel, the intention is, when you reach for that glass.
If you pause and think about this now, you will notice that you always act on what you feel you need, not what you know the results will be.
Those feelings are the BELIEFS you hold around alcohol – that it offers you any sort of comfort / relief, that you will miss out if you don’t drink, and that changing your drinking will be hard – none of which is true……..Do you recognise that?
And until you uncover the BELIEFS driving those feelings, it can feel like alcohol is running your life – because your BELIEFS in any area of your life, do run it!
So where do those BELIEFS come from?
Somewhere along the way, you learned that alcohol could make things better. Maybe it helped you relax after a tough day, made you feel more confident in social settings, or gave you a moment of peace in a chaotic life.
And of course, at first, it seemed to work – you wouldn’t BELIEVE it if it hadn’t….. You did felt better. You did feel more confident, you did fit in.
And because you felt better, your brain connected alcohol with relief, comfort, or fun. Over time, those feelings settled into your Unconscious Mind as BELIEFS including — “I need a drink to relax.” “Alcohol makes me more fun, “ and alcohol became an anchor to something much deeper and settled into an all powerful BELIEF.
But the truth is, alcohol didn’t create those BELIEFS. You did.
Your experience of drinking taught your mind that alcohol was the answer.
And those BELIEFS became so deeply rooted in your Unconscious Mind that they now drive your actions automatically—without you even realizing it.
The next step is to understand the tension you feel every day as you battle to stay away from alcohol….
The Real Tension: What You Know vs. What You Feel
Here’s where the tension comes.
Your Conscious Mind knows the truth – it sees the results of your drinking.
You know that drinking isn’t helping anymore. You’ve felt the impact on your sleep, your relationships, and your sense of control.
And when you’re tired, stressed, or feeling low, it’s not your conscious mind that takes over. It’s your emotions. You reach for a drink because you feel like you need it, even though you know it won’t fix anything.
But your Unconscious mind—the part that holds those BELIEFS and controls your behaviour—still clings to the idea that alcohol will make you feel better.
That’s the real relationship you have—not with alcohol, but with your own BELIEFS and emotions.
How to Take Back Your Power & regain Easy Control of Alcohol
The simple answer is that because you created those BELIEFS you can change them.
All it takes is a tried and trusted framework that you learn and can lean into at any time and in any situation, that releases your feelings that alcohol (or food, or shopping, or sense of unworthiness – all just beliefs), brings you any sort of comfort, and changing your drinking becomes easy!
To help you start your journey of changing the belief that alcohol brings you comfort, to the belief that alcohol is irrelevant in your life, I am sharing the five steps I created to help you dive deeper into your relationship with alcohol and start regaining control of your drinking, so that you live in happiness, peace, joy and confidence around alcohol:
1. Recognize the Story You’re Telling Yourself
Pay attention to the thoughts that pop up when you think about drinking. Do you hear yourself saying things like, “I need this to relax” or “It’s how I unwind”? These are the stories your subconscious mind has been repeating for years. Write them down. Awareness is the first step toward change.
2. Question the Beliefs
Ask yourself, “Is this true?”
For example, if you believe, “I need a drink to handle stress,” think back to a time when you coped with stress without alcohol. The more you question these beliefs, the more you’ll see that they’re not facts—they’re just patterns your mind created.
3. Separate Alcohol from the Feeling
Think about what you’re really looking for when you drink. Is it peace, confidence, or connection?
These feelings don’t come from alcohol—they come from within you. Start exploring deeper ways to meet those needs, like journaling, meditation, resting, creating space for yourself or simply talking to a friend.
4. Challenge the Myth That Change Is Hard
You’ve been told leant to BELIEVE that giving up or cutting back on drinking is difficult—that it requires willpower, sacrifice, or missing out on fun. But that’s a lie.
Change becomes easier when you shift your beliefs and focus on what you’re gaining: peace of mind, better health, and stronger relationships.
5. Remind Yourself That YOU Are in Control
Alcohol isn’t in control—you are. You created the beliefs that alcohol was the answer, and you have the power to create new beliefs that serve you better.
Start by telling yourself, “I know and honour my needs, ” and “I can create peace and joy on my own.”
It’s Time to Rewrite Your Story
Your relationship with alcohol is about so much more than drinking—it’s about the stories you’ve told yourself and the emotions that drive your actions.
And while those BELIEFS might feel deeply ingrained, they’re not permanent.
You’ve been stuck in a pattern, but patterns can be broken.
You just need to make a decision to choose what you believe, how you feel, and what you do next.
If you’re ready to take back control, start by asking yourself ONE simple question;
“What do I really need that alcohol cannot deliver?”
I know that you are stronger than you think, and change is easier than you’ve been led to BELIEF.
******
Ready to Discover My Framework for Fast and Easy Change?
If you’re tired of fighting with yourself over whether to have a drink and want to break free from the struggle, it starts with recognizing the Unconscious BELIEFS and patterns you run before you drink.
When you understand the “why” behind your drinking, staying in control becomes easy and natural.
Click to request your FREE 20 minute Take Back Control of Your Drinking Call , to learn more about my proven framework for creating fast, lasting change—no willpower, no struggle, just freedom, and take the first step toward living the life you deserve.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control & MidLIFE Woman Coach
Dec 19, 2024
Christmas is a time of joy, love, peace and connection….but is it for you?
Or is it a time of stress, pressure, overstretching yourself in every direction, and over drinking to try to feel better (and then feeling so much worse)?
Imagine waking Christmas morning with a deep breath of love and excitement, a clear head, and an easy night sleep, free from the stress of a hangover and exhausted before your busy day has even begun…….
You are a good, kind, loving woman, and although Christmas is a busy, expensive time, you dream of making it magical for your family, your loved ones.
You imagine yourself wrapped in the warmth of love, laughter, and connection, surrounded by the people you care about most.
But if you’re honest, the reality often feels very different
Instead of joy, there’s pressure.
Instead of peace, there’s stress.
And instead of taking time to care for yourself, you end up at the bottom of your own list of priorities.
You want the day to be perfect.
You don’t want to spoil it by drinking too much or by letting stress overwhelm you.
But that very desire for perfection leads to overwhelm, leaving you emotionally drained and reaching for a glass of wine to “take the edge off”, which becomes a bottle, and you end your even more tired, trying to hide your drunkenness, and missing out on what should a time of deep reconnection and joy.
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
For over 29 years I struggled to make Christmas special….I wanted to badly for it to a time of happy memories, and yet I barely remember them at all.
But not know…..Now I understand how easy it is to fall into patterns of overdoing everything at Christmas—overworking, overcommitting, overspending, all of which lead to over drinking.
And I also know that this can be your first Christmas where alcohol does not dominate your life, YOU do.
The first Christmas where you can reconnect with what truly matters and find the strength and confidence to move through the season with grace and control.
To help you, here are 5 Top Tips I share with my clients to help you stay safe, sober, and heart centred this Christmas:
1. Pause and Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
In the rush of Christmas preparations, it’s easy to ignore your own emotions, because those feelings won’t disappear; they intensify under the pressure.
When you feel the urge to reach for a drink, pause for a moment. Ask yourself:
What am I really feeling right now?
Is it exhaustion? Loneliness?
A need for comfort?
Recognising and acknowledging your emotions without judgment is the first step to meeting your true needs.
2. Let Go of Perfection
Christmas isn’t about the perfect turkey or the perfect tree; it’s about connection and love.
When you let go of the pressure to make everything flawless, you create space for joy and spontaneity.
Remind yourself that the people who love you don’t need perfection; they just need YOU.
Focus on creating moments of connection rather than ticking every box on an impossible to-do list.
3. Carve Out Time for Yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup, yet so often you put yourself last during the Christmas season.
The answer is to schedule some non-negotiable time just for YOU each day, even if it’s just 10 minutes to sit quietly with a cup of tea – no excuses acceptable.
Use this time to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with your heart space.
This small act of self-care can ground you and remind you of your strength and value
4. Prepare for Tempting Moments
Be honest with yourself about when and where you might feel tempted to drink.
Is it during Christmas dinner? At a festive party? Once the kids are finally in bed? Plan ahead for these moments.
Have a non-alcoholic drink you love on hand, and remind yourself why staying sober matters to you.
Visualize how good it will feel to wake up clear-headed and proud of yourself.
5. Focus on the Feelings You Want to Create
What do you truly want to feel this Christmas?
Peace, joy, love, connection?
Keep these feelings at the forefront of your mind. When you’re tempted to slip into old patterns, ask yourself:
“Will this bring me closer to what I want to feel, or take me further away?”
By choosing actions that align with your heart’s desires, you’ll create a Christmas that feels fulfilling and authentic to your hearts desires.
This Christmas, give yourself the gift of grace.
Release the pressure, honor your needs, and trust that you are enough just as you are. Staying sober isn’t about deprivation; it’s about creating space for the joy, love, and peace you’re truly craving.
You have the power to make this season one of connection and calm, free from regrets and full of heart.
And if you stumble, remember: one moment doesn’t define you. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a step towards the life you want to create.
From my heart to yours, wishing you a safe, joyful, and sober Christmas.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
