May 29, 2020
How did you drink last night? And the night before?
Was it a smooth decision? No ‘need’ behind the glass of wine with dinner—sipped, enjoyed, and the bottle back in the fridge, leaving you feeling happy, relaxed, and at peace?
Or, was it a battle? The first glass gulped down as you surrendered to that overwhelming alcohol mind battle? Feeling despair and confusion as yet another bottle disappeared?
When was the last time you felt hollowed out by your struggle not to drink?
When did you last give in to that glass of wine, that became two, then the whole bottle? The frustration, the helplessness—feeling like a failure?
And, how are you truly feeling in the deepest part of you? The part no one else can see, but you.
Are you proud of yourself, of your choices, and who you are? Or, like I was for so many long years, are you feeling ashamed, weak, and helpless in your drinking habits? Struggling with a lack of control, peace, wellness, and that feeling of isolation and confusion?
You Are Meant to Live Connected and at Peace with Yourself
You were meant to live in connection and peace with yourself. Safe in your trust of you, quietly and deeply self-accepting, self-loving, and self-comforting. These elements of self are what gift you the peace and joy that make life truly worth living—even during the harder, sadder times that will always be a part of life.
I know you already understand that changing your drinking will change everything.
You’ve felt it. You’ve experienced it.
You’ve felt the physical and emotional benefits when you drink less, or not at all—better sleep, more balanced moods, more energy, and a greater connection to your true self.
You know this. You feel it.
But still, you find yourself slipping back into that same struggle.
The daily decision to not drink becomes harder and harder as time passes.
You feel like you’re doing better, only to find the pressure mounting as the day goes on. And that familiar voice begins to rise in your mind, the one that always seems to want you to “just have one”, telling you that “you deserve it” or that “you’ve had a long day.”
Who Is This Voice? Is It the ‘Wine Witch’?
Do you talk to your friends about this dreaded, destructive voice that entices you back to the bottle? Is this the Wine Witch? And what does she say to you?
Maybe words like:
- “Have just the one.”
- “You deserve it.”
- “You’ve had a long day, why not start tomorrow?”
- “Don’t deprive yourself of something you love.”
- “You’ll be fine this time. You can stop at one.”
- “It’s not that bad.”
Does this sound familiar?
And so, you give in. You drink. You feel awful. Weak. Guilty. A failure. And you blame your Wine Witch. You have to blame someone….it can’t be you
After all, you don’t deliberately want to feel terrible the next day, right?
The Truth About the ‘Wine Witch’
Here’s where the real power lies: Your Wine Witch isn’t the enemy.
She’s not a force outside of you, taunting you for no reason. She’s part of you, who shows up when you need her most.
In moments of overwhelm, when you’re lacking comfort, rest, or self-nourishment, she’s there.
She’s there to offer what you feel you need in that moment.
What you may not realize is that the Wine Witch is your unconscious mind doing its best to offer comfort in the only way it knows how: through alcohol.
But here’s the where it gets confusing: your unconscious mind doesn’t know what alcohol is.
It doesn’t know the damage alcohol does to your health, your happiness, or your relationships.
It doesn’t remember the mess from the night before.
It can’t play forward to how you’ll feel tomorrow morning, and it certainly doesn’t know the long-term effects of drinking. It only knows how you feel in the moment—and in moments of stress, exhaustion, sadness, uncertainty, struggle or overwhelm, it sends alcohol as the solution.
Your unconscious mind isn’t malicious—it’s just trying to comfort you.
It’s trying to provide you with relief from the mental fatigue, overwhelm, or emotional discomfort that you’re feeling right now. It’s not trying to hurt you.
But it doesn’t have the full picture, it can’t see beyond your moments of distress, of fight.
It has no knowledge that Alcohol isn’t a solution—it’s just a temporary fix. Your unconscious mind simply doesn’t know that.
The Battle You’re Facing is Not with Alcohol, But with Yourself
Here’s the key realization:
When you battle alcohol, you’re not fighting the alcohol itself.
You’re battling a conflict between your conscious mind—what you “know” is best for you—and your unconscious mind, which is trying to comfort you with the only tool it knows: alcohol.
Your conscious mind tells you, “Don’t drink. You’ll feel terrible. You’ll regret it.” It’s the voice of reason—the angel that tries to steer you in the right direction. But often, it’s harsh and critical, which only adds to the frustration. You might feel like you’re fighting with yourself, and that’s exhausting.
On the other hand, your unconscious mind—the Wine Witch—is soft, loving, and well-intentioned. She’s trying to comfort you, even though the method she’s using (alcohol) isn’t actually helping.
Your unconscious mind is your super power, it always wins and is your loving protector, but without you shifting your perspective, understanding what’s going on, and guiding it to a new understanding, it will always offers alcohol because it believes it will bring you comfort.
You Are Not Broken. You Just Need a New Way to Meet Your Needs
When you recognize that your Wine Witch is not the enemy, but rather a misguided protector, the conflict inside you begins to fade. The next time you feel that pull to drink, you can pause and ask yourself, “What do I really need in this moment?”
Instead of blaming yourself or your Wine Witch, you can listen to your true needs—whether it’s rest, nourishment, self-care, or simply a moment of peace—and offer that to yourself in a healthier way. In doing so, you re-connect with your true self.
The Power of Self-Awareness and Self-Compassion
When you begin to understand that the root of your drinking is not the alcohol itself, but the unmet needs beneath it, you gain true freedom. You break the cycle of guilt and shame and start to treat yourself with the self-compassion you deserve.
Changing your drinking doesn’t need to be a battle. It doesn’t need to be about deprivation, guilt, or endless struggle. It’s about reconnecting with yourself, understanding your needs, and learning to meet them in healthy ways. That’s how you start to feel at peace with your drinking—and with yourself.
You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck
I know you’ve been trying to change your drinking, and it feels like you’ve tried everything.
The start/stop cycle can feel like a never ending hamster wheel of struggle and stress.
But I promise you, there’s another way. You don’t need to keep fighting yourself. All you need is the right approach to understand what’s driving your drinking.
That’s why I created the 6-week RAPID ALCOHOL CONTROL METHOD—a transformative coaching process that’s about reconnecting you with your true self, understanding your emotional needs, and helping you break free from the cycle of struggle and shame around alcohol.
It’s not about giving up something forever; it’s about ending your daily drinking struggle, dismantling your alcohol trap and empowering you to choose when and how you drink, with peace and confidence.
You’re ready for this change. You don’t have to do it alone.
I offer a limited amount of FREE 20 minute Take Back Control of your Drinking Calls, so if you are ready to learn exactly how to end your drinking struggle for life, book one now!
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
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Here’s what one client had to say. Will you be next?
“All in all, my drinking has cost my family over £200,000—leaving me detached, out of control, and less of a human being.”
“In just six sessions with Sonia, and her incredible support, I feel strong, confident, and more at peace with myself than ever before.“
“Alcohol is back in its proper place—just a liquid, not an all-consuming demon.”
“I never believed after all these years that this could happen. My family and I thank you with all our hearts.”
May 10, 2020
How are you feeling today, after yesterday’s daily struggle with drinking?
Even if you don’t have a hangover, even if you managed to ‘control’ how much you drank, can you do it again tonight, tomorrow night, for a week, a month, and how much energy, exhausting mental and physical energy, will you have to put into it?
You know that the way you drink hurts you, on a level that is so deep, it feels as though it scars your soul.
You see children’s anxious, watchful eyes waiting to see how you will react over small incidents, or no incidents, just a little bit more noise or mess, cuts you in half.
Maybe your children are older, but their pain is still the same, worrying and fearful wanting to ring you, not wanting to hear your drunken voice. It’s all the same.
The shouty, snappy impatient you they see, is not who you are and is absolutely not a reflection of your love for them – that huge well of love that makes you want to scoop them up and hold them until your heart and theirs, feel as one.
But sadly, that is not who they see or how they believe you feel about them. You see the confusion and hurt and lack of safety in your love staring back at you, and you go into the bathroom and cry.
So feeling the way you do, what stops you making the commitment to letting go, for once and for all, of your drinking pain?
For most, it is the fear of failure – and yet you feel you are failing anyway.
Or the fear of how you will cope/be without alcohol – and yet you despair of your lack of coping, and who you are, with alcohol
Or the fear of trying again, and failing – because everything you have tried before has had the same approach and so the same results, just packaged differently.
Everything you fear about changing your drinking stems from 3 beliefs you currently hold
1 Your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief
2 Your ‘Changing the way you drink will be hard‘, belief
3 Your ‘You can never drink again’ belief
And how do you know you have these 3 belief’s? It’s easy.
- When you think about not having a drink at the end of a busy day, how do you feel? Contracted or Expanded
- When you think about trying to change your drinking, how do you feel? Contracted or Expanded
- When you think that changing your drinking means ‘never again’, how do you feel? Contracted or Expanded
When you feel Contracted you have the 3 beliefs. Contracted feelings are feelings of FEAR, and your fear always shows up first in your tummy. Think now about changing the way you drink and notice the feelings that arise – words you might also use to describe the feelings are deprivation, anxiety, loss, all of which are layers of fear. Do you recognise that?
When you feel Contracted, changing your drinking is fearful, stressful and very, very hard.
When you feel Contracted, you are thinking about stepping away from a habit that brings you something you need. And that need always comes under the umbrella of ‘comfort’ – this can mean rest, peace, coping, confidence, all things you don’t have, and need at different times.
However, when you feel Expanded, you are excited about change, the ‘challenge’, you look forward to it, expecting great results. Changing your drinking just means learning something new and you can’t wait to bring it on and enjoy the freedom.
In Expanded feelings there is no fear, and there are no 3 painful beliefs. Do you recognise this too, even if you can’t yet apply it to your drinking?
If you do, that’s fantastic as it means you already have a shift in awareness that can, when you know how to, propel you forward to changing your drinking, with ease, and it is the knowing and accepting of the above that makes all the difference.
I didn’t know, so couldn’t accept, or work with the awareness of the 3 beliefs I held around alcohol, and so I fought and failed for 28 painful years to change, in any way, how I drank.
I now know that those beliefs were 100% were the walls of my alcohol prison, not alcohol, and that they are yours too, and like mine, yours too can be easily disappear.
But your old beliefs cannot be smashed, or broken – your beliefs are who you are, even when they don’t serve you, and your beliefs are the creators of our reality, until you recognize them and know the process of letting them go.
It is easy to let go of your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief. Awareness of a new way of thinking, backed up consistently by easy self-loving actions, that cost you nothing and enhance every step of your empowering journey to peace and freedom around alcohol, is all that you need.
I have a simple formula for changing your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief, and it is not hard, I promise you. It is literally down to a 4 step process of, AWARENESS +LIVING + FEELING = BELIEVING and once you no longer believe that alcohol is in any way your solution, the other 2 beliefs simply cease to exist. I promise you.
Awareness – learning how to recognise your limiting beliefs and releasing them, in the moment
Living – creating a way of living that has no focus on alcohol, is easy and re-builds your trust and love of you.
Feeling – the joy of consistently living your new life where alcohol, does not even feature as any sort of Solution. Where alcohol is just another beverage, an occasional treat, that you can take or leave, because your real, empowering solution is YOU!
Bring these 4 elements together and you easily release any beliefs around alcohol that leave you fearful, stressed and out of control around alcohol and alcohol situations. It is that simple.
Changing the way you drink is not hard you simply don’t know how too, and that is no longer a problem, because I do!
My empowering and unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process gifts you the peaceful freedom from your exhausting, conflicting mind chatter.
It allows for the gentle release of your ‘Alcohol is the Solution’ belief, and with that one gone, the other two beliefs just don’t exist! And you are gifted back the woman and mother you deserve to be, that you truly are, for you and your loves.
How utterly wonderful is that?
Don’t wait for a tomorrow that never comes, don’t try another, yet the same, quit drinking process, packaged with a different name, it won’t work. You know that, because by God have you tried!
NOW is the time to change your drinking and transform your life, so what’s stopping you? If you would like a confidential chat, contact me, you are trapped only as long as you allow yourself to be.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
Sonia x
PS. Here’s a recent client testimonial – I absolute respect all my clients desire for confidentiality, so I never use names.
“I ‘forgot’ to drink on Saturday! I forgot and I have never forgotten to drink in the last 15 years. I know we agreed on 2 nights a week, because I wanted that, but I find I only drink on one. I am euphoric at how easy this process is. Thank you, thank you, thank you”
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If you would like to join a supportive, loving community of amazing women who are on the same journey to letting go of thier ‘Alcohol is the Solution’ belief, why not join my private facebook group, The Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method, (click here to request joining https://bit.ly/2UpNdZU ). It’s a loving safe space where I share tips and training and you get the support and care of the rest of our lovely lot!
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If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
May 10, 2020
How many times have you woken up hungover, embarrassed, ashamed and said ‘Never again’ to the Demon Drink?
You have made the decision to stop, or to cut down, and you have done it! For a couple of days week, a month, maybe even longer………… and then gone back, maybe with the intention of ‘just the one’ and found yourself free falling in to your old ‘I can’t control it’ drinking habits, and feel you have ‘failed’ again.
Welcome to your Stop/Start drinking cycle, an inexplicable cycle that you just can’t explain.
However I can, and on a very basic level, here it is.
- You drink, you get drunk, you feel rubbish you STOP
- You don’t drink, you feel great, you feel energized, happier, more confident, more alive, and proud. Something shifts. You decide to ‘reward’ yourself, and you START. Again.
Now there can be many variations on why you STOP, there is only ONE reason why you START again.
For your STOP, maybe you frightened yourself by your drinking, maybe you upset someone very special, you know why you make the change.
And it seems to be the same with why you START again. Maybe someone upset you, you found yourself completely stressed, overwhelmed, unable to cope with a situation or just bored or lonelier.
However, there is only every one reason you START again, and that is to make yourself ‘feel better’. This is the absolute truth, even of the ‘reward’ reason.
You don’t reward yourself for feeling brilliant. You are not in ‘need’ of reward then, the brilliant feeling IS the reward.
Instead you reward yourself for your achievement, in your case of not drinking, of doing so well.
Yet the very need for ‘reward’ means that you are feel something slightly lower, maybe the voice chatter has come risen a few decibels and it has become harder to ignore it, or you are tireder, just a little, of having to try. Whatever it is (and the unable to cope situations are much easier to understand), something you unconsciously feel, is not quite as good, and you start to drink again.
And then, again, inexplicably you find yourself unable to stop. What on earth has happened to you?
It is actually very simple, – you drink to make yourself ‘feel better’, I think you know that, and whilst it is not the result, it is always the intention.
And behind that intention is your powerful, ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief, which is kept safe and protected in your Wonder Woman strength, super power of your Unconscious Mind.
And it doesn’t matter why this belief was created, it really is irrelevant, it is how you maintain and re-enforce that belief now that needs to be shifted.
Whilst you are in the STOP phase of your cycle, and you really are feeling better, even fabulous, and your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief is not needed, so it sits quietly enjoying your peace and wellbeing – the very things it wants to deliver to you.
But when you don’t feel so good – and that not feeling so good, can be as small as a bad nights sleep which leaves you feeling less able to cope, or an argument with a loved one, maybe an idiot on the road, or when you are in need of ‘reward’ – any time when you find yourself if need of comfort and/or support your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief lovingly rears its head, to offer you that comfort, and if you then try to deny it without offering an alternative to your need, your Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief comes raging back, to offer you whatever it is that you are missing, and you drink. Again.
That is all that happens. Do you recognize you here?
Letting go of your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief is the ONLY way to find peaceful freedom and to change your drinking effortlessly. But you cannot break, bully or control any belief that has an intention of wanting to comfort you. Your beliefs create our reality, and you cannot smash your reality, because ultimately you are trying to smash you, which makes your need for comfort (alcohol) even stronger!
Instead, you need to let go of the belief that alcohol is any comfort, to release the emotional attachment you have to it, but that cannot be done with talking, reasoning or any form of intellect.
Releasing my Alcohol is the SOLUTION belief, is how I became peacefully sober after 28 years when I had given up all hope of trying to change with any other method, and guiding you to it is now my area of absolute passion and expertise.
I created the unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process, which allows you to find your peace and freedom around alcohol effortlessly, by dealing with your drinking ‘problem’ at its cause, your innocently learned, there to comfort you, Alcohol is the SOLUTION‘ belief.
Once that is done, you have no cravings, or need for willpower, alcohol is no longer good or bad, it is a drink, you can take or leave, and so there is nothing to fight over.
The process starts with a loving deep dive into how your Unconscious Mind has learnt to believe alcohol is the solution – not ‘why’, but ‘how’ – it represents alcohol, & what your Unconscious Mind feels it brings to you. This is a huge part of why my work is so unique and life changing.
That is followed by you understanding the exact 3 step process you go through every single time you pick up your first glass, and the picking up is the last part. I work from the other way around, letting go of the first step, leaves no other steps to follow.
Freedom from the way you drink, (a freedom that is about changing the way you drink, not stopping for ever) comes from removing the emotional charge, (the feeling) of the ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief, behind your drinking.
However, my work not only offer you freedom from your hangover, it is also freedom from despair, unhappiness, disappointment, shame, fear of failing, fear of not being the mother, partner you long to be, freedom from a life that is stress, anxiety and struggle, all of which is created by the time and energy you spend on your STOP/START cycle.
There has never been a time where your emotional and physical wellbeing is more imperative for you and for you loves, so there has never been a time where you need to end your STOP/START cycle more, and to step back into the woman you were born to be.
The price of anything is the amount of LIFE you exchange for it. How much, and for how long you paid, in LIFE the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial costs of your drinking, and how much longer are you prepared to pay those heavy prices?
The hardest part of changing your drinking is reaching out, from there, I take you on a journey of relief, release and joy, so if you would like a confidential chat, to see how I can best support you, message me and I will do the rest. The life you deserve is waiting for, are you ready for it?
Be kind and gentle with yourself.
Sonia
PS. Here’s a recent client TESTIMONIAL. This amazing women is now 6 months free and sent me this, plus a follow up testimonial last week, to remind me how she was just 3 weeks into the process. She didn’t want to a ‘never again’ solution, she just wanted to freedom from your daily alcohol ‘need’, her endless mind chatter and exhausting struggle, and she has them all, effortlessly.
“From 2 bottles a night, from hiding and lying to my family, I haven’t drunk EASILY in 3 weeks and the difference is everything to me. My children come to me for a cuddle and I don’t shrug them off anymore. I only did that because I didn’t want them to smell the alcohol, but as you said, they didn’t know that was the reason. I feel joy, real joy now when we sit and watch the tv together, not thinking about wine. In fact I can’t even imagine what I was thinking before. Thanks Sonia”
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Would you like to be where this amazing client is? Here’s the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method link again in case you missed it earlier.
If you would like to join a supportive, loving community of amazing women who are on the same journey to letting go of their ‘Alcohol is the Solution’ belief, why not join my private Facebook group, From Alcohol Pain to Peace. It’s a loving safe space where I share tips and training and you get the support and care of the rest of our lovely lot!
If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
