Where do you look to find the answers that will change your LIFE?
The miracle answers to your drinking and how to change it, to you eating and how to control it, to your feelings of stress, anxiety, overwhelm? To your lack of self-confidence, people pleasing, low self-esteem….to any of the answers to the ‘problems’ of YOU?
Do you look to self-help books, inspirational / motivational speakers/preachers? To those who have walked your path and found the happiness, peace and calm in LIFE that is all you ever wanted?
Maybe you look to those who have struck out on their own, have a simple idea and made a fortune and then promised you can do it too?
And with all the mountains of material out there, some free, some very expensive, have you got what you were looking for, what you are searching for, what you ache to have in LIFE?
For almost 30 years I searched and re-searched the answers to the ‘problems of me. To my lostness, my lack of love, my hurts, my drinking, my everything that was wrong with me – and there seemed plenty.
And in every book I read, in every program I signed up to, in every video I watched. I learnt something, it made sense, and I couldn’t do it. Or not for long.
I couldn’t make the changes to my LIFE I dreamed of….and my dreams might not have seemed big to others, to be sober, to be happy, to have peace, to be proud of myself, to be a wonderful mum, but to me, oh yes to me, they were my hearts desires, my hopes, my daily prayers, and they never came true.
But I couldn’t achieve any of my dreams by following someone elses advice, or journey, until I shifted ONE thing. Just one, and this is it.
I stopped looking to anyone else to provide me with the answers to ME.
And here’s why I had spent my time looking to others for the answers, and why their answers didn’t work for me…..
From our earliest days, we are taught to listen and learn from our parents, teachers, others who have learnt more than us, before us, and accept the knowledge that they give us as truth. The only truth.
And of course, in terms of science, maths, the sun rises in the morning, the sun sets at night and so much more, that is absolutely true. 8 x 8 always and forever equals 64….its never going to becomes 59 or anything else …..
And that works in so many areas of LIFE. It bring certaintys, and as humans we all thrive on certainty.
But when it comes to YOU, to how you function, what you are capable of, what you need to understand that resonates with you and your soul, your path, you have (innocently) abdicated responsibility to others to solve the ‘problems’ of YOU, when they can only really solve the ‘problems’ of them…..
Does that make sense?
And you don’t even realise you have done it! You are simply following the pattern of learning you were taught as a child.
However, you are not a child any longer, and now, if you are reading this, your Happiness, your Health and your HEALING may well depend on you starting to question everything you learn.
That is literally what I did, and I believe that if I hadn’t stopped looking to any other source for the answers to the ‘problem’ of me, than me, I would be dead, my life exhausted by trying to do what didn’t / couldn’t work for me, or still living the half life existence I felt completely trapped in.
I’m not suggesting that you ignore all the resources out there – I didn’t ignore what I learnt, but I didn’t accept it as the only truth, the only way, and instead I checked in with myself before I accepted it as MY truth, and if it didn’t resonate, asked myself with gentle curiosity, “What else might be true?”
I started to investigate me….I became the Super Sleuth of Sonia.
I still read, watched the resources available and then questioned them in the context of me, of my world, of what I had believed to be true, and again, what if something else was true, and what might that be?….
I was honest in my answers, accepted full responsibility for owning my choices and understanding why I made them at times, and not at others, and this created a whole new bank of information about ME, that was true.
And, as I recognised the truth of my learnings (wisdom), from there I had no fear, just curiosity, and I was able to act differently.
I stopped relying on anyone else to heal me from my drinking, eating, self-despair. That is not to say I didn’t lean into the knowledge to support my LIFE changes, but I didn’t at any time expect to read my truth in any book.
That is my truth when I started my LIFE changes, and it is my truth still today.
And in case you fear what you might learn about you, here is another truth of mine, and yours.
I have learnt nothing about me, who I am, my needs or how to deliver them that have hurt me in anyway.
What I have learnt about me, especially in the areas of which I was hurt, is not that there is anything wrong with me, but that at some points in my life, the little girl I was, became confused and felt unsafe in the world around me and in the people I trusted, and I became trapped in the moment and stayed there.
And what did I do each time I found her? I simply picked her up in my emotional arms, took her to my heart, poured the love and compassion that heals all wounds and integrated her safely back into the heart of the woman I have become.
This is how I changed my LIFE, by becoming me.
By accepting where I was and moving forward from there on my path. By forgiving myself and others, by abandoning judgement of myself and others, by delivering compassion and love to myself and others.
That is the the ‘secret’ recipe to Happiness, to Health and to HEALING – it is never found in any book, it always found in you!
By knowing, accepting, taking responsibility for and loving YOU, your way.
I hope this gives you inspiration to start to look within as well as without to change your LIFE.
The without holds very valuable information that can lead you gently within, when you question and check in with YOU.
If you need any help finding your best LIFE, for finding your Happiness, Health & Healing, contact me HERE and lets’ talk.
You are a joy, LIFE is a joy, you just to re-connect with you.
Be kind and gentle with yourself.
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