How are you feeling today? And yesterday, and for the past few weeks or months?
Are you feeling at Peace within yourself?
Happy and Relaxed about the Choices you easily make in LIFE?
Safe in Trusting yourself to stick with the choices you know will make your LIFE better?
Or, do you feel a quiet desperation building inside of you that knows you must make changes to your LIFE.
- Maybe you want to change the way you Drink, or Eat, or Spend….
- Maybe you want better Relationships, a Healthier Lifestyle, to earn more Money
- Or maybe you are sick of with feeling Stressed, Anxious or Overwhelmed.
Whatever your struggle is, you want to make changes and you want to make changes NOW, and often you know what to do, that you just need to make better Choices, but for some inexplicable reason you can’t.
Your rational mind tells you that you cannot carry on like this.
You wake in the night tangled in the stress and anxiety of your thinking about how to change.
You make decisions in the early hours of the morning that today will be different.
- Today you will not drown yourself in Food or Alcohol
- Today you will stand up for yourself and say “No”
- Today you will be better, take some time for you, delegate / ask for help, and that
TODAY is the day everything changes…..you have made your new, empowering, Choices and you are going to stick with them, ….except you don’t…..your day wears on, your ability to choose wanes and you go back to the same old, same old…….and so your cycle of exhaustion and despair goes on unbroken……
What on Earth is going on? Or rather, your usual thought is, “What on Earth is wrong with me?”
Here’s the TRUTH about CHOICE…..powerful new CHOICES are not just decisions you make in your thoughts, in fact thoughts, (your rational mind), don’t allow you to change, unless they are aligned with the FEELING (the Belief) that you do have a CHOICE…..
Let me explain….when I changed my drinking, seemingly miraculously after 28 years of painful struggle, and without any stress or struggle, I changed it through my CHOICE….a choice I had never felt I had before, and so a choice I was not able to make, or stick with before.
Of course I had known, intellectually what my drinking was doing to myself and my son.
I felt and saw the results of my drinking every day.
I used to go back to bed crying after he left for school, frightened that I wouldn’t be alive when he came back home, and certain that he had left in the morning with me a shell of the mother he deserved, anxious, stressed, impatient with my darling child, my gift from God, who I loved more than life itself.
And I didn’t’ feel I could change.
I didn’t feel I had it in me. Why?
Because I had (innocently) bought hook, line and sinker into the powerful social conditioning (Beliefs) around alcohol that changing my drinking wasn’t possible.
That I would struggle for life, that it would always be an uphill battle, and in those unseen, unknown but deeply felt Beliefs, I had (again, innocently) abdicated all my choices and responsibilities to my own negative, limiting Beliefs……
Now, 7 years happy, peaceful in myself years later, through my own experience, my learning’s and my clients easy successes, I believe that to be true of everyone that struggles to change their drinking, the way they eat, spend…..all of which come under the change paralysing umbrella term of ‘addiction’.
So, how do you know you hold those Beliefs?
Beliefs show up as FEELINGS, and when you go into conflict between what you rationally know to be true, your THOUGHTS, and your Beliefs, your FEELINGS (anxious, fearful, deprived of not doing something), you are bumping up against the super power of YOU, your Unconscious Mind, which controls 98% of your behaviors (I kid you not).
And that is where your inner struggle truly lies.
Not with the ‘doing’, not with the behaviors of your Drinking/Eating, not speaking up, not having the Love, Health, Relationships or Money that you know you deserve, but with conflict between what you THINK to be true and what you FEEL is true…..do you recognise that?
I hope so, because that inner conflict is the point at which it is game over for you, and your cycles of the way you eat, drink, shop, the relationships you have, the money you can earn, the (lack) of lifestyle you currently have, the pain you live in continue, because you BELIEVE, (feel), you cannot change, that you cannot be different, that change will be hard and all the rest of the feelings you have when you want to make a CHOICE to act/live differently.
But when you THINK you have CHOICE and it is aligned with FEELING (Believing) you have CHOICE, then its game over again….and this time your battle is won!
You act differently easily, because there is no fear, no anxiety, no sense of deprivation. Instead, your worldview opens up, there is curiosity, awareness, excitement and with each new step, taken from each new CHOICE, your LIFE changes.
- YOU grow in confidence and strength
- Your LIFE grows, it flourishes
- You CAN have the Freedom you deserve, you can have the LOVE you deserve
- You can have the MONEY you dream of
- You can have everything you want, when you THINK and FEEL you have CHOICE.
It is that simple. I promise you.
If you are ready to make the most exciting and profound changes to your LIFE, contact me (HERE), TODAY.
And always and forever, be kind and gentle with yourself
Hello lovely, I hope you safe and well, and happy in your life…..I hope that you are not struggling, exhausted and overwhelmed by the pressures of the high speed, have-to-have, have-to-be life that swirls around you.
And if you are struggling, feeling trapped and running on an emotionally empty tank, please know that I know you, I see you, and that my heart is with you, because I was you too, before I walked the path back to ME.
When I was you, I was drunk, with an eating disorder, issues with self harm, no self-awareness, no self-esteem, no self-respect, no self-love, no knowing or accepting of who I was, isolated and disconnected from my soul.
That is so painful to write, and yet the words of truth just flow out……
My prayer for you is, that even if you recognise my words, you didn’t walk my addiction path, and even if you didn’t take the actions I did (alcohol was my biggest non-comfort), if you are reading this, if my words resonate, you probably have been tripped and trapped by the hidden roots of what you believe to be true of you.
My truth is that after 28 years of soul destroying, exhausting disconnect between my inner self-loathing, and outer self-confidence….a disconnect I tried to ‘comfort’ with alcohol, my drinking suddenly changed.
A ‘miracle’ I thought would never happen….a miracle that I have learned to know had nothing to do alcohol, or with anything other than a simple shift in awareness about ME, and my world changed completely.
Everything didn’t fall into place in a single instant, and not in one day, or month or year, but never again did I feel the sense of fear or loneliness that I thought was me, because on the day of that first shift, I started a life transforming, exciting, empowering journey back to my safe place, my trust, my love, my home….back to ME.
A ME I had never met before, had never seen, voiced or listened too….A ME that I accept 100%, for my gifts of Love, Kindness, Compassion, Forgiveness, and for my flaws….whenever they pop up……
The ME I talk about is YOU too🧡
The ONLY reason you are not where you want to be, who you want to be, and who you want to be with in life, is because of what you have forgotten about who you are, what you have to learnt to believe is not good enough about who you are, what you have learnt to believe your not capable of, and what you have learnt to believe you do not deserve in life.
These are the twisted roots of your overwhelm, exhaustion, stress, anxieties, fears, feelings of isolation and loss.
Please listen to me my love, these roots are not YOU, they are not real…..instead the reality is that they were created by YOU, at a time of your innocence of any truths about YOU, the wonderful woman you came into this world to be.
The woman who is always and forever good enough, who is strong enough, brave, resilient, successful, fulfilled, deserving of love and money….these are your TRUTH.
Not the painful roots that have grown stronger the more you have fed them with your thoughts and feelings about YOU.
Darling, in your lack of knowing, accepting and loving who you are in your heart and soul, YOU have made these roots ‘real’ and the magic of you is that YOU and you can free yourself from every single painful thought and feeling about who you are in love and peace and step back into your TRUTH.
This is the journey I took, and this is the one I am so excited to be bringing to you….a joyful journey of wisdom, magic, and TRUTH that is The Route Back to YOU …..it is the path back to a life of easy flow, trusting your intuition, connecting with your soul, finding your freedom, you joy, your peace, and in that place, all your dreams are within your reach, and all you history of fear and pain is lovingly released.
To get you moving I have created a community of incredible women who know that they cannot, will not continue to be less than who they truly are in my new Facebook Group, The Route Back to You. It’s a new group, and its small, and don’t let that put you off, because it will be huge, packed with advice, tips, and the love and laughter that is the gift of the personal growth and acceptance of YOU.
Here’s the link to request joining The Route Back to YOU. I am so excited to see you there and watch you relearn how to soar…….
Be kind and gentle with yourself
PS. If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE), reviewed by Ranvir Singh of Good Morning Britain as “Beautiful & devastating”, wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
Another shift, another Lockdown, back to home schooling, business’s, coffee shops, closed. Back to an uncertainty that never really left you. All in all, LIFE seems to be on pause again, and it seems harder this time doesn’t it?
Now, I am a Re-Frame Queen ? I know how to shift my perspective to a view that supports me, that keeps me safe in every situation – & wow, with my brother’s dreadful, out of the blue, accident & appalling, life changing injuries last year, I really earned that crown!
But you don’t always have to brace yourself, pull your socks up, make the best of it, feel positive, or OK.
You don’t always have to walk on the Sunny Side of the street, sometimes it takes too much effort, and that’s OK too.
It’s OK, not to feel OK. ❤️
But it’s not OK, in your down times, to treat yourself carelessly, neglectfully – it’s not a reason to turn back to the non-comfort of ALCOHOL
When life is not OK, you must pause and recognise that what you truly need is to treat yourself with MORE Love, Care, Comfort & Attention to your needs.
When you take the time to pause, and breathe, you will notice your needs and be able to deliver them.
When you don’t take the time to pause and breathe, you go through your day, like the machine you are not, fueling your lack of care for yourself with alcohol to ‘keep you going’ to help you relax, to calm you down to brighten your day, when all you really need to do is STOP❤️
Here’s some simple tips to help you ❤️
- Create a relaxed daily schedule that includes FUN
- Walk outside
- Rest – tell your loves you need time out, even if its just 20 minutes to be alone, to lie on your bed, to re-calibrate, and take it!
- Drink more water (I am so back into my herbal teas – Lemon & Spiced Ginger)
- Eat FOOD – simple food prepared with LOVE
- Reach out when you need Comfort, Communication, Connection
- Read books that engage/inspire, that you can get lost in
- Watch TV that makes you laugh
- Move gently through your days ❤️
And #CHOOSE YOU ❤️
All this WILL pass, you just have to DECIDE how you will come through it.
My 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process is unique. It has a clear structure that is flexible and lovingly releases all your fears and blocks around what alcohol is in your life, why the methods you have used so far have make it feel it will be to hard to make lifelong changes, and gifts you back the woman you truly are, connected, accepting and at peace with you and life.
Be kind & gentle with yourself
PS. Please let 2020 be the very last year you struggle to change your drinking. It is NOT hard, I promise you.
Changing your drinking changes every area of your life. It is a miraculous transformation from loss and pain to peace and freedom.
Here’s a message I got just yesterday from a relieved client (there’s more on my Testimonials page).
“This is my FIRST sober Christmas in 15 years….I had 2 glasses of champagne on Christmas Day, and another glass on a family Zoom party, Boxing Day…..my family are so proud of me and I am so proud of me…….this is the life I dreamed of……thank you Sonia”
It doesn’t’ matter where you are now, or how long you have been there, the life you are searching for is within you all the time, you just don’t know how to access it. I do.
If now is your time to change, to put you first, to gift yourself the ease, peace and freedom you deserve, take a look at my completely unique, soul and life expanding 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method page, and and reach out to me, TODAY.
That first email is the only hard part of change, I PROMISE YOU ❤
Finally, if you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
You want to change the way you drink. You have to change you drink. You absolutely MUST change the way you drink, and you have tried, you really have, time and time again, and the change hasn’t ‘stuck’, hasn’t lasted and you have no idea why.
You see, feel and hear the pain your drinking is causing, not just you, but your loves too, and you know, that life can only be better by making this ‘simple’ change, and yet you always seem to ‘fail’. And then you see, feel and hear that failure too!
There are NO mysteries around why you drink, and NO mysteries around how to change your drinking for life! None.
It is simple, you drink to make yourself feel better, always! You never drink in a way you don’t like, that causes you pain, because your are at peace with yourself, rested, nourished, connected health or happy.
You ONLY drink in a way you don’t like because, on a level that you don’t really understand, you feel that a drink will help you relax, bring you calm, peace, time out – feelings that are lacking in the moment. And it is the conflict, the war within you between what you feel alcohol brings you, and what you know the results of your drinking will be, that is the ONLY reason you choose to stay trapped.
Your drinking is simply the action you take in your (failed) attempt to resolve your inner conflict, fueled by your lack of whatever it is you are truly in need of.
Your action is drink, for other’s it might be food, gambling, shopping – any compulsive action you cannot seem to stop doing. Actions you have learnt to believe (to feel), bring you whatever it is that is missing – even if it is just the mind chatter (roar), that exhausts you. Do you recognize that?
If you do, excellent, you have taken the first step to shrinking alcohol down from an all consuming mind monster, to what it really is, a take-it-or-leave-it, no emotional (feeling) need that can be enjoyed as an occasional treat.
Now, to support you on your journey of simple steps that take you back to the place of inner peace and balance that comes from releasing your fears, confusion and cravings for alcohol, I have created the unique RAPID ALCOHOL RECOVERY METHOD GROUP PROGRAM.
I truly understand how change can feel daunting and isolating, even when it is a journey that takes you to peace and joy, as many of you don’t like to travel alone, and this is just one of the powerful benefits of small group programs. You are never alone!
You have my expertise, my energy, my commitment to supporting you, and you also have a community of women on the same journey, at the same time, with the same desire to change their drinking, effortlessly.
In this small group program, you will not only receive support, learning’s, insights and answers to your journey’s questions and concerns, and how to deal with your life situations, you get the benefit of the support, learning’s and insights from your community members, the benefit of how they deal with their life situations, which you can adapt to yours too. That is beyond powerful!
This unique program will transform everything you think and feel about alcohol, and the role you have created (innocently) for it in your life, leaving you free to breathe again, to live, to be the magical person you were born to be, without any thoughts of needing willpower, control, motivation or even positive thinking – all of these take energy, and when have the balanced energy I am talking about, you don’t need them anyway!
How The RAPID ALCOHOL RECOVERY METHOD GROUP PROGRAM works
Over a 6 week period, you will receive the complete Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method coaching process experience, usually only available to 1-2-1 clients, in a an exclusive, members only, small group container, which consists of;
**** Life time access to a private members only portal through which you receive a weekly coaching videos and worksheets, based on my life changing Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method coaching process, so that you get new awareness and practical support to power you forward to freedom.
**** Weekly 1 hour Live Coaching Sessions in an exclusive, members only Facebook Group, where you have the opportunity to be coached live by me, and for me to answer any questions you have either on the topic, or concerns that have arisen during the week, so that you get the full understanding and shifts you need to be free without doubt or fear.
**** Life time access to an exclusive, members only private Facebook Group, which I am in daily, where you can share you wins, express your fears, and receive feedback and insights from your community members, so that you feel completely supported throughout your journey.
**** Regularly updated Bite Size Videos within the private portal on any topic that either you request, or I feel will offer you even greater support, again, to power you forward to peace around alcohol in your life.
Changing the perception of alcohol in your life is my passion and I am committed to bringing into your awareness and life an easier way of changing your drinking for life,
Here’s what one of my most recent client Testimonials.
“My bottle of wine (plus) a night drinking changed from week ONE and I have never looked back! x You will never know what a gift you have been in my life & the investment as been worht it 10000+ times over for me and my family!
I now bring that gift to you, in the small group RAPID ALCOHOL RECOVERY METHOD GROUP program ❤
The investment for this completely unique and life changing program is only £800 – you simply have to choose the life you want, surviving your one short life, stuck in your struggle & stress around alcohol, or thriving in that same life, free to be who you truly are.
If you want to chat, reach out to me, just click HERE . I am waiting to support you,
Love & respect
As you move through January, and ‘normal’ life settles back in, how is your ‘New Year, New You’ mantra sounding to you?
And how are you feeling?
Regardless of whether it is food or alcohol you struggle with, or whether you are cutting down or completely out, you are probably already reaping the physical and emotional benefits.
Maybe you are feeling more energized, sleeping better, less bloated, skin looking better – the list is endless.
- But you are feeling more at peace?
- Does it feel like you need to be in a state of control or rely on strength?
- That you are avoiding, just for now?
- Or are you replacing one with another, or a third, such as exercise?
- Are you eating more in the absence of alcohol?
- Or maybe drinking more in the absence of sweet stuffs?
You know at the very core of you that you want to make changes, and not just for January.
You know that you want to feel better, look better, act better.
That you want to be the mother/partner/hell, even the dog owner you and your loves deserve, and you know that a huge leap towards that would be cutting down/out the crap that is literally poisoning your body and life, and yet, and yet, you feel you start to miss it.
What on earth is going on?
All that has happened is that your thoughts have started to slip back on their well worn track of focusing on ‘not doing‘, which creates the feelings of anxiety and deprivation around what you perceive you will miss from food & alcohol.
Does that make sense?
However, if you weren’t buying into your old food and alcohol thinking, you wouldn’t be creating any feelings.
Everything you do is through a process of Think, Feel, Re-Act – re-acting being the drowning of yourself in food / alcohol.
And you have learnt to believe your thinking is your Reality. Your Truth.
But, and this is key,
It is only Your Reality, Your Truth, if you buy into it. If YOU Believe it.
And you don’t have to believe it! You really don’t.
Recovery Coaching Tip
To keep you safe, here’s one of my top tips to support you when your old stinking food & alcohol thinking comes up.
The first thing is to become aware of your thoughts.
To notice them, and when they arrive – maybe you are tired, low, lonely, anxious about work/relationships, only you know. Notice, and don’t buy into them.
By not buying into your thinking, by not accepting your temporary thoughts as your truth, your thoughts have no power.
Yes, the thoughts are still there, but without the fertilizer of your energy of arguing with them, pleading with them, trying to avoid them, they can’t grow like out of control weeds, strangling your mind, your heart, your actions.
Then all you have to do is simply take Conscious Responsibility to release that thinking, by simply choosing to think another, more empowering thought, such as “Here you come again, I am tired etc, and so here it is again, this silly old stinking thinking that means nothing to me” and then Let.It.Go.
The process I give to my clients when their stinking thinking comes up is,
- Breathe Deeply
- See your thinking for what it is, merely a thought you are used to thinking. And one that you are innocently choosing to buy into again.
You can even change the ‘voice’ of your thoughts to someone you would laugh at if they gave you advice, someone you would be crazy to consider listening to.
An idiot from your past – we all have them, or maybe a politician you know is talking crap in the now, we all know them.
Just by changing the voice you will notice the feelings of deprivation and anxiety die away, which they always will, and all because you have shifted your thinking.
Freedom from your food & alcohol pain is not hard – you have learnt to BELIEVE IT IS.
You simply need a new way of Thinking, which creates new Feelings which gift you the opportunity for new Re-Actions. That’s It! Done, dusted, free.
My clients enjoy huge success, through my uniquely simple Recovery Coaching process.
I have supported many amazing men and women to find peaceful freedom.
A number of my clients have spent at least one term in Rehab and struggled in the ‘real’ world.
Other clients have come feeling that they felt they were close to losing everything and some who just didn’t want to drink / eat, on a daily basis, in a way they don’t like.
All of them, when they trust the process (me) and work the simple tools (you), have found the balance they desired and deserve. It will be the same for you too.
My unique process was created from the awareness, understanding and simple strategies that released me from my 28 years of alcoholism and secret binge eating, along with my learned skills as a Master Practitioner of NLP and Master Coach.
Now, in just 6 weeks, every aspect of my clients lives change, as yours will too.
You too will have the peace, calm, awareness and all that spills into every area of your life.
It doesn’t matter where you are now, or how long you have been struggling, release is within you all the time. The Sober, Slim person you long to be is who you are. x
If 2020 is the time for you to make the changes you deserve for you and your family, Contact me today.
Nothing will change until you understand the truth of what the hell is going on in your inner world, and how to release that ‘going on’ without stress, struggle, willpower or control.
Love & respect
To make lifelong change to any Unhappy Habit (to change the way we drink/eat/shop and all the rest), we need to know and understand where we are, how we got there and what we are dealing with.
So let’s start with taking a little look at at the structure of our Unhappy Habits, of what they would look like if we could actually seem them. And the analogy of an iceberg is perfect, as it represents both our physical acts and the emotional intentions that drive them.
Above the water is the smallest part of our iceberg, and make no mistake, that smallest part can be pretty damn big. Its icy tip symbolizes our behaviour and its visible consequences.
It’s what we see reflected back at us in the mirror. It’s the weight we hate, the signs of our alcohol consumption, the dehydration and anxiety in our dull eyed stare. It’s in the stress we see so clearly etched on our faces when we have spent money we don’t have and all the lies, desperation and hopelessness that all of these, and many more, our inexplicable behaviours bring.
That cold white ice is the what we ‘do’ of our habit – what we put into our mouths, what we spend, and seemingly, very sensibly, when we try to make changes, that’s where we start. I mean, if something we are doing isn’t working, just do something else, right……….
So, we circle our visible iceberg warily, thinking through our options, taking into account what has and hasn’t worked before, maybe there is a new diet plan, a new quit drinking, inspirational, motivational, prayer book even, that might just work this time. Then we attack our icy peak with our unprotected hands in an attempt to mold it in to the new, improved ice sculpture version of ourselves, the one we know we can never really be. The slim one, the sober one, the one that just isn’t who we are right now.
And how do we know we can never be this new version of us? That’s easy. We have been practising our ice sculpting skills for years and they always fail us.
At best we can create a temporary ‘new’ us, but then the ice starts to shift and re-arrange itself as we try desperately to shape t it back into place, until with bloodied, defeated hands we give up and accept our drunk/fat/broke destiny. Ok, so starting on our icy peak doesn’t work. All agreed?
The only other part of our iceberg we can look to then is the huge, submerged and brutally ragged mass that lies beneath the water, supporting our visible peak.
Dark and seemingly unknowable, this is the foundation of our iceberg, and it is formed by what we believe about both ourselves and our habit. What it brings to us, how we feel we will be without it, what we will lose, how we will cope, and added to that is our experience around our habit in the good times. All of these have been frozen into what we accept as our reality.
Freezing cold and menacing, we know it will rip at us apart both physically and emotionally and so we flinch from even approaching it, dwarfed and cowed as we are by its sheer size and power
Many brave souls who have understood this truth still take up the battle, donning protective clothing and attacking the submerged iceberg with all the weapons in their personal arsenal. They launch missiles of self-hate, recrimination and abuse at its silent mass, they meditate, join support groups, read endlessly on their poison of choice, and hope that one of these explosives will detonate on impact, smashing a tunnel to freedom. And still, no, that doesn’t work either.
So, what does?
To take down our iceberg we simply have to raise the temperature, the temperature of US. To bring out our sun and let it shine down brightly, warming the air and giving light to the self-awareness that is key to any transformation.
Awareness brings questioning to the boundaries of what we believe and our experience. It allows for the possibility of a different view of the reality we had previously created, and a different view allows for a different behaviour.
So, as awareness grows, our icebergs naturally melt away as we expand our understanding of both ourselves and our Unhappy Habit.
Thoughts and beliefs, frozen for so long, take on a softer, gentler shape, allowing us the flexibility to gently challenge what we do, what it gives us, what it takes from us, which gives us the opportunity the opportunity to act and be who we are meant to be, habit free and whole. Who we deserve to be. Who we were born to be. Then, as our iceberg completely dissolves, we are left with an untroubled expanse of water, peaceful and calm, with no need for us to do anything, just to ‘be’.
If you need help in understanding & changing any Unhappy Habit, please contact me today. My Recovery Coaching comes from a place of deep understanding and compassion of a former addict, who knows the way to freedom and peace. x
Location is never a problem, I offer 1-2-1 Consultations, via Telephone & Zoom.
If you would like to know a little bit more about me, take a look at my About Sonia page.
I am also the author of “This Isn’t Me“, the story of my personal journey through both drug and alcohol addiction, and then finally and thankfully, into recovery.
Take a look at my How I Work for You page, my Empowering Incredible Personal Change page, Contact me today and let’s get this journey started. x