Jul 29, 2025
The sense of peace, freedom, joy, and trust that comes when you are no longer controlled by drinking is… magical.
To see the bottle in the fridge and not feel an invisible magnetic pull to it… to feel completely neutral about a drink.
To realise it’s been days since you last had one and you hadn’t even thought about alcohol — that feels magical.
There is no other word.
Your world changes. Every part of it.
You see life differently. You live life differently.
And it doesn’t have to mean a “never again” decision.
Why shouldn’t you enjoy a social drink?
A glass of something you love — for the taste, not for the need to feel better…
Not to fill boredom or loneliness…
Not to help you forget how guilty and ashamed you felt this morning.
I was trapped in my drinking for over 29 years.
Now, I can enjoy an occasional, slowly sipped, ice-cold rosé with dinner — a drink that would have been gone in two minutes in my days of struggle… now sometimes unfinished by the end of the meal.
I share this to give you hope. To give you confidence. To ease your fears.
If You’re in the Mental Battle With Alcohol Right Now…
Remember this when the day comes where you know… you can’t keep doing this.
Not to your health.
Not to your relationships.
Not to the woman you know you really are.
When you’re ready, it’s not about “trying harder” or “being more mindful.”
It’s about stopping what has never worked:
Limit.
Control.
Moderate.
Because here’s the truth: you don’t struggle with alcohol because you can’t control it.
You struggle because you’re caught in the Alcohol Illusion — the unconscious belief that alcohol gives you comfort, relief, or reward.
And that belief creates the Alcohol Noise — the exhausting mental tug-of-war between knowing alcohol harms you and still believing it helps.
That’s why willpower has never worked. You’ve been fighting the wrong battle.
The Battle Before the First Sip
If you’ve been wondering how to stop overthinking about drinking, here’s what really happens before you pick up a glass:
- You start thinking about a drink.
- You fight the thoughts.
- The fight creates stress, frustration, confusion.
- Those emotions make the noise in your head louder.
- You drink — not because you want the alcohol, but to silence the battle.
The truth?
You’re not craving that first glass of wine (that becomes the bottle).
You’re craving peace from your own mind. And because you’re chasing peace, that first glass disappears in minutes — as you try to drink in something that cannot be found in alcohol.
And the answer isn’t to fight harder — it’s to end the fight before it overwhelms you.
The 5 Steps to Freedom
This is one of the unique strategies inside my 6-week Rapid Alcohol Freedom Method, program.
It’s the exact process that I used to change my drinking after 29 years of stress and struggle, and it has now helped women all over the world feel safe, calm, and in control — no matter what life throws at them.
Here it is
1. Awareness – Seeing the Illusion
Recognise that when you’re in a fight, you’re in the Alcohol Illusion. You don’t “need” a drink — you need comfort.
2. Breath – Anchor Safety
A series of steady, slow breaths grounds your nervous system so you can respond, not react.
3. Pause – The Reset Moment
Put your hand on your heart. Feel its steadiness. This clean break interrupts the spiral and creates space for clarity.
4. Curiosity – Follow the Thread
Gently explore what’s really behind the urge. No judgement. Just truth.
5. Action – Close the Loop
Make a choice that truly delivers what you need — a choice that makes emotional sense.
What Happens Next
When you work through these steps, something shifts:
- The noise fades.
- The Illusion disappears.
- You stop needing the drink to feel okay.
You start having the inner conversations you’ve been avoiding — without confrontation.
You feel safe in your own decisions.
You make choices you’re proud of.
And you realise:
It was never about alcohol.
It was about ending the inner battle.
Your Next Step
If you’ve been stuck in the mental battle with alcohol for too long, don’t wait for another weekend to pass feeling defeated.
Book your Complimentary Take Back Control Call today and let’s get you to a place where:
- You can drink socially without overdrinking.
- Alcohol feels like a calm, irrelevant choice — never a need.
- The endless inner noise is replaced with peace.
You don’t have to fight to stay sober.
You just stop wanting to drink.
And always, on your journey stay curious. Be kind. Be gentle with YOU.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
Global Award-Winning Coach
Jan 20, 2025
You have come to the point where you know you have to change your drinking – not just for Dry January, but for LIFE.
You can no longer ignore your inner worries about your health, your relationships and your ability to be the best version of yourself – present, connected, at peace with yourself and your past, and free from all your old feelings of anger, guilt and shame.
You long to stand in your true being – happy, fulfilled and authentic.
And you know that changing your drinking is key to living the life you desire and deserve.
So, you manage to stop, you manage a couple of days, a couple of months and you feel AMAZING, proud, happy and you think….’I’ve got this’
And then it all starts to slide away, your thoughts and feelings start to turn to alcohol, you start to turn towards alcohol, the fight begins, your power diminishes and you are back to where you were before, daily drinking, daily guilt, shame and totally confused…..do you recognise your drinking pattern here?
What happened? You were doing so well…what’s wrong with you?
I know there is nothing wrong with you.
And there is definitely no mystery around why you are falling back into the same old ways of non-coping with alcohol….
Here’s the truth and the answer you need to hear.
Stopping drinking is just the beginning of your journey. It’s a wonderful, empowering first step, but stopping is not enough for you to stay sober for life.
Because a sober life isn’t just about not being drunk.
There is a broader spectrum to drinking, that takes it from problem, to social……
It’s about not needing a drink. It’s the difference of being in control or out of control.
Living sober is about being in total control of your choices. It’s about drinking differently, enjoying a couple of glasses with dinner or friends on a special social occasion, and then switching to something non-alcoholic with grace and ease.
Staying sober is about recognising the difference between an easy social drink, and the out-of-control desires alcohol you feel at other times, when not have a drink just isn’t going to happen.
To live a happy, healthy sober life, you must first accept your drinking habit for what it is, something you have done habitually at certain times (after work is a great example), and the battle in your mind over I must / I mustn’t drink, that is the driver of your habit.
And then its about the wonderful, life changing process of re-connecting with yourself, your deeper unmet needs and the thoughts, feelings and understanding the beliefs you hold (just for now), that alcohol will ease the void created by your learnt self-neglect.
I know from my own experience of regaining total control of my drinking, after 29 years of no control, that the more you take responsibility for discovering your deeper unmet needs;
Maybe your needs for comfort, relaxation, peace.
Or your physically neglected needs for healthy food, good hydration,
Or your emotional needs such as connection, forgiveness, acceptance, joy, and love,
And then the responsibility for meeting those needs, the easier staying on your sober pathway is.
When you know what your true needs are and act on them consistently, you will quickly feel your mind and body fall into its natural, born to experience, rhythm of your life.
In that rhythm, you will automatically start to fill your inner void with what you truly need, and when you do that, alcohol becomes a lovely social glass of something special, and not the panacea that ultimately makes your life so much worse, and you think, feel and drink completely differently.
Your sober life is for you to define. No-one lives your life, no-one ever truly knows your needs. Its up to YOU.
And the truth is, you always have the power to change your drinking, to release old habits, and to take full responsibility for your well-being, and when you do, your drinking and life will change magically.
If you are ready to change your drinking and embark on the most joyful and rewarding journey of your life, let’s talk, you can book your COMPLIMENTARY Take Back Control of Your Drinking Call, HERE.
I’ve done the walk, I know the path to alcohol freedom, and I know how to guide you back to a life of control, fulfilment and JOY.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
Jan 3, 2025
Are you ready to find true freedom from your exhausting daily cycle of drinking, guilt, and regret?
You long for peace of mind, to feel calm and confident in your choices, and to rediscover your authentic self. And you deserve to live that way.
But if you’ve been trying to change by focusing on alcohol—tracking drinks, setting rules, or wrestling with guilt—you’ve likely found that the success is only temporary (like Dry January) before slipping back into your old drinking habits, leaving you feeling worse because of your ‘failure’ to stick with it.
The truth is, when you try to change any problem by focusing solely on the problem—in this case, your drinking—it takes up more headspace, creating stress, anxiety, and confusion. And these are just some of the negative feelings that actually fuel your desire for a drink, rather than releasing it.
The harder you fight your thoughts and feelings around alcohol, the stronger the pull becomes.
The Truth About Alcohol and Your Struggle
In my personal experience of 29 years of no control over my drinking—feeling frightened, confused, and facing the effects every morning after—I’ve learned something profound: alcohol is not the problem that needs attention.
The real issue is the invisible Unconscious Beliefs that drive you back to drinking, over and over again.
It’s Not About What You Know; It’s About What You Believe
You probably already know that alcohol isn’t truly helping you relax, solve problems, or feel better. But knowing isn’t enough.
Your life actions, including your drinking, are guided by what you feel unconsciously, not what you know consciously.
If you believe that alcohol is your reward, your escape, or your way to cope, that belief will quietly but super-powerfully shape your choices. And you can’t see these beliefs—they operate beneath the surface, creating patterns of behavior that feel impossible to break.
But when you bring them into the light, the whole dynamic starts to shift.
Awareness Is the Key to Freedom
When you begin to see these Unconscious Beliefs clearly, something shifts. These are often described as ‘light bulb moments’, where you start noticing the patterns they create, even while you’re in them.
But now, instead of feeling overwhelmed or stuck, you feel empowered. You know what to do. You make the best choices for you, and it becomes as natural as breathing.
This is where real change happens—not by fighting against yourself, but by recognizing your Unconscious Beliefs and the patterns they run. It’s that simple.
When there’s no confusion and you can recognize your patterns as they arise, you’re free to make different choices.
You step out of the autopilot cycle with grace and ease. The stress, fear, and internal conflict fade away because you’re no longer fighting an unknown force.
The Answer Is Within You
Once you accept the truth that it’s not alcohol keeping you trapped, it’s the unknown parts of yourself—you are already on the path to freedom and powerful, easy change.
Now you are learning about the beliefs you haven’t yet uncovered that are the real barriers to change. And when you make the unknown known—when you see those beliefs for what they are—you can finally release them.
Imagine a Life Where You’re In Control
Imagine feeling calm and in control, choosing not to drink without stress or second-guessing yourself.
Imagine living with clarity, peace, and the confidence that you’re free to make decisions that truly serve you.
The journey isn’t just about regaining control of your drinking—it’s about creating a life that feels fulfilling, joyful, and authentic.
Alcohol loses its grip when you reconnect with who you are and understand the beliefs shaping your choices. It is as simple as that.
You don’t need to fight harder.
You need to see clearly. That’s where freedom begins. And once you find it, everything else falls into place.
Start Noticing the Patterns
Recognizing the patterns behind your drinking isn’t complicated. It begins with paying attention to your thoughts and feelings in the moments when you feel the urge to drink. These are the breadcrumbs that lead you to the Unconscious Beliefs driving your actions.
Here’s how you can start noticing your patterns:
🌟 Pause and Tune In
The next time you find yourself reaching for a drink, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?
What am I hoping this drink will give me? You might notice feelings like stress, loneliness, boredom, or even frustration.
Perhaps you’re telling yourself, “I deserve this,” “This will help me relax,” or “I can’t deal with this right now without a drink.” These thoughts are clues to the deeper beliefs guiding your choices.
🌟 Look for Repetition
Notice when similar thoughts and feelings arise.Do you always crave a drink after a tough day at work? When you feel ignored or unappreciated? When you’re alone on a Friday night? These are patterns—not just in your actions but in the emotions and beliefs tied to those moments.
🌟 Question the Stories
Once you spot a pattern, gently question it. For example: Do I really need this drink to feel better?
Is this true, or is it just a habit I’ve fallen into?Even this small step of curiosity can start to loosen the grip of those Unconscious Beliefs.
Why You Need Support to Go Deeper
While these steps are a hugely valuable starting point, uncovering and shifting deeply ingrained Unconscious Beliefs requires a deeper process.
This is where I come in.
As The Alcohol Control Coach, I guide midlife women, like you, to uncover the Unconscious Patterns that have kept you trapped in a cycle of drinking, guilt, shame, and regret.
I teach you how to shine a light on the beliefs driving your actions and give you all the strategies that take you out of your drinking stress in the moment and help you reconnect with your authentic self—the calm, confident, and joyful person you know you’re meant to be.
Imagine Freedom from your Daily Drinking Habit
Imagine waking up each day with peace of mind, no longer battling the stress, guilt, and frustration of drinking.
Imagine the freedom to live a life where alcohol no longer controls you.
This isn’t about temporary fixes. This is about real, lasting change. And it’s possible for you.
Are you ready to make this change?
If you’re ready to change your drinking for life, reach out to me HERE today.
Let’s work together to break free from your daily drinking trap and begin your path to true happiness and healing.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
PS: Here’s what one client had to say about her transformation. Will you be next?
“I’ve been drinking a bottle of wine a night for years. I get home and the first thing I do is pour a glass of wine. None of my family believe my excuses anymore, and all of them hated my drinking.
Within two weeks of working with Sonia, my drinking had changed dramatically, and so have I. I feel peaceful, relaxed, and there’s no alcohol noise at all. I am loving the journey and the ease and calm at home. Sonia’s process works, and it has changed my life.”
Dec 23, 2024
It’s getting closer🎄🎄 …..the ‘magical’ time of year, that is hard work, joyful, sad, expensive, exhausting – a mass of conflicting emotions, all wrapped into one package called, Christmas…..
The message of Christmas is one of joy, connection, and a wonderful celebration of love and life.
Christmas is supposed to be a season of joy, love, and connection. But for you, especially if you’re struggling with your drinking, it might feel like a time of tension, guilt, and overwhelm.
The invitations to parties, the endless glasses of prosecco, the stress of family dynamics, maybe struggling with loneliness or grief, there is a huge spectrum of emotions that are amplified at Christmas, all of which can you leave you wondering: “
“How the hell am I going to get through all this without feeling stressed, anxious and out of control?“
Well, I’m telling you now that you DON’T have to dread this Christmas.
You CAN be completely in control of your drinking choices
You CAN enjoy a social drink and wake up the next morning, peaceful, happy, proud and loving life, and
You CAN make the best choices for you, and your family with grace and ease.
And the secret to a your happy, fulfilling Christmas starts with understanding the power of your choices and the BELIEFS that drive them!
Why Your Beliefs Shape Your Christmas Choices
When it comes to drinking, Christmas can amplify the tension between what you know and what you feel.
- You know another drink might leave you hungover tomorrow.
- You know you’ll feel guilty if you drink too much in front of the kids.
- You know alcohol won’t magically make family conflicts disappear.
But despite knowing all of this, there’s still that pull—the thought that “just one more” will make you feel better in the moment. That pull doesn’t come from alcohol itself; it comes from your beliefs about what alcohol can do for you.
For years, you may have believed that drinking is the answer to stress, that it helps you fit in, or that it makes Christmas more fun. And while those beliefs might have started as little stories you told yourself, they’ve become powerful drivers of your choices.
When Fear Takes Away Your Choices
You might recognize that you have a choice—to drink or not—but if you don’t believe change is possible, fear creeps in.
You fear that saying no will make you stand out.
You fear that it’ll feel hard, lonely, or boring.
You fear failing, again, if you try to cut back.
That fear can feel so big that it makes choice seem impossible. It’s easier to give in, to take the drink, and to deal with the regret later.
But here’s the truth: your fear is rooted in a belief—not in reality. And beliefs can change.
These beliefs live in your Unconscious Mind, which is your superpower designed to protect you and meet your needs.
The tension you feel—the struggle between wanting to stop drinking and giving in—comes from the conflict between your Conscious and Unconscious Minds.
You Unconscious mind doesn’t know what alcohol is; it has no language, no memory of the last time you felt out of control, and it can’t imagine the hangover, guilt, or shame you’ll feel tomorrow.
It acts only in the moment, seeking to comfort your uncomfortable emotions.
Meanwhile, your Conscious mind knows exactly what alcohol is and what it does to you.
It tries to pull you away from drinking because it knows the harm it causes.
This is not a fight with alcohol—it’s a fight within yourself. But once you understand this, you can finally break free and you do regain total power of your choices.
Shifting Into the Truth of Choice
When you start to believe that you do have a choice, everything changes.
Here’s how you can shift from fear and doubt to confidence and empowerment this Christmas:
1. Pause and Get Curious
When you feel the pull to drink, pause. Ask yourself: What do I really need right now?
Is it connection? Peace? Relief from stress? it could even be as simple as a cup of tea and some food…..
What it you will definitely discover it that it is not alcohol you want, but the feeling you believe it will give you.
2. Challenge the Belief
The belief that alcohol will make Christmas better is just that—a belief. Ask yourself: Is that really true?
Think back to past Christmases. Did drinking really deliver what you hoped for, or did it leave you feeling worse in the long run?
3. Play It Forward
Your Unconscious Mind acts in the moment—it doesn’t remember the hangovers or the guilt from last year. But your conscious mind does. Before you take that first drink, play the scenario forward in your mind. Imagine how you’ll feel the next day.
4. Create New Choices
Once you recognize the belief driving your desire to drink, you can choose something different. Maybe you’ll take a walk when you feel stressed, or grab a sparkling water instead of wine. Each small choice builds confidence and rewires your beliefs.
5. Embrace Boundaries
Protecting your energy is key. That might mean saying no to a party that feels too triggering or setting limits on how much time you spend with difficult family members. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re essential for your well-being.
A Christmas of Possibilities
This Christmas, you have the power to break free from old beliefs and make choices that align with the happiest, healthiest version of you.
It’s not about being perfect or never drinking again—it’s about understanding why you feel pulled toward alcohol and creating new ways to meet your needs.
When you believe in your ability to choose, the fear fades. You’ll feel stronger, more in control, and more able to show up as the best version of yourself for the people you love.
Your Next Step
If you’re ready to make this Christmas a turning point, I’d love to share my framework for fast and easy change. It’s all about recognizing your Unconscious Beliefs and the patterns you run before you drink, so you can say no with confidence and ease.
This Christmas doesn’t have to be a struggle. It can be a season of hope, joy, and transformation—and it starts with one simple choice. Let’s make it together.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control & MidLIFE Woman Coach
Dec 20, 2024
Is your relationship with alcohol easy and relaxed, allowing you to enjoy a social glass of wine and then stop, so that you remember the evening, wake clear headed , at peace with yourself and ready for the day?
Or is your relationship with alcohol destructive, painful, leaving you feeling out of control, guilty, hungover and ashamed?
And what would you give to be free from your relationship with alcohol? To feel the grace, ease and control around alcohol that others seem to have?
Waking up again today, ready and excited for work, I remember the 29 years of my drinking, that made no sense, that caused so much pain to myself and my son, and I am profoundly grateful that I know the truth of my old your relationship with alcohol, and how I changed it, which I am sharing now to help you change yours……
When you think about your relationship with alcohol, what thoughts do you run on helpless repeat?
Are you confused by the anxiety you feel at the thought of not drinking, and the fear you feel about not sticking with your two glass limit, and losing control again?
In all the years of my alcohol stress, pain, guilt and struggle, my focus was firmly on alcohol – on how much I drank, and trying to avoid/limit/change it, and nothing worked…..My focus was firmly on;
The devastating consequences of my drinking, and
On how to control my drinking
But the simple fact was, my relationship with alcohol was about so much more than alcohol.
And it also a fact that your relationship with alcohol is about so much more than alcohol too.
The real truth about mine (and your) daily drinking trap is about the tension inside you.
The pull between what you know, the results you see and feel after you drink – that it impacts your health, your relationships, your energy—and what you feel, the intention is, when you reach for that glass.
If you pause and think about this now, you will notice that you always act on what you feel you need, not what you know the results will be.
Those feelings are the BELIEFS you hold around alcohol – that it offers you any sort of comfort / relief, that you will miss out if you don’t drink, and that changing your drinking will be hard – none of which is true……..Do you recognise that?
And until you uncover the BELIEFS driving those feelings, it can feel like alcohol is running your life – because your BELIEFS in any area of your life, do run it!
So where do those BELIEFS come from?
Somewhere along the way, you learned that alcohol could make things better. Maybe it helped you relax after a tough day, made you feel more confident in social settings, or gave you a moment of peace in a chaotic life.
And of course, at first, it seemed to work – you wouldn’t BELIEVE it if it hadn’t….. You did felt better. You did feel more confident, you did fit in.
And because you felt better, your brain connected alcohol with relief, comfort, or fun. Over time, those feelings settled into your Unconscious Mind as BELIEFS including — “I need a drink to relax.” “Alcohol makes me more fun, “ and alcohol became an anchor to something much deeper and settled into an all powerful BELIEF.
But the truth is, alcohol didn’t create those BELIEFS. You did.
Your experience of drinking taught your mind that alcohol was the answer.
And those BELIEFS became so deeply rooted in your Unconscious Mind that they now drive your actions automatically—without you even realizing it.
The next step is to understand the tension you feel every day as you battle to stay away from alcohol….
The Real Tension: What You Know vs. What You Feel
Here’s where the tension comes.
Your Conscious Mind knows the truth – it sees the results of your drinking.
You know that drinking isn’t helping anymore. You’ve felt the impact on your sleep, your relationships, and your sense of control.
And when you’re tired, stressed, or feeling low, it’s not your conscious mind that takes over. It’s your emotions. You reach for a drink because you feel like you need it, even though you know it won’t fix anything.
But your Unconscious mind—the part that holds those BELIEFS and controls your behaviour—still clings to the idea that alcohol will make you feel better.
That’s the real relationship you have—not with alcohol, but with your own BELIEFS and emotions.
How to Take Back Your Power & regain Easy Control of Alcohol
The simple answer is that because you created those BELIEFS you can change them.
All it takes is a tried and trusted framework that you learn and can lean into at any time and in any situation, that releases your feelings that alcohol (or food, or shopping, or sense of unworthiness – all just beliefs), brings you any sort of comfort, and changing your drinking becomes easy!
To help you start your journey of changing the belief that alcohol brings you comfort, to the belief that alcohol is irrelevant in your life, I am sharing the five steps I created to help you dive deeper into your relationship with alcohol and start regaining control of your drinking, so that you live in happiness, peace, joy and confidence around alcohol:
1. Recognize the Story You’re Telling Yourself
Pay attention to the thoughts that pop up when you think about drinking. Do you hear yourself saying things like, “I need this to relax” or “It’s how I unwind”? These are the stories your subconscious mind has been repeating for years. Write them down. Awareness is the first step toward change.
2. Question the Beliefs
Ask yourself, “Is this true?”
For example, if you believe, “I need a drink to handle stress,” think back to a time when you coped with stress without alcohol. The more you question these beliefs, the more you’ll see that they’re not facts—they’re just patterns your mind created.
3. Separate Alcohol from the Feeling
Think about what you’re really looking for when you drink. Is it peace, confidence, or connection?
These feelings don’t come from alcohol—they come from within you. Start exploring deeper ways to meet those needs, like journaling, meditation, resting, creating space for yourself or simply talking to a friend.
4. Challenge the Myth That Change Is Hard
You’ve been told leant to BELIEVE that giving up or cutting back on drinking is difficult—that it requires willpower, sacrifice, or missing out on fun. But that’s a lie.
Change becomes easier when you shift your beliefs and focus on what you’re gaining: peace of mind, better health, and stronger relationships.
5. Remind Yourself That YOU Are in Control
Alcohol isn’t in control—you are. You created the beliefs that alcohol was the answer, and you have the power to create new beliefs that serve you better.
Start by telling yourself, “I know and honour my needs, ” and “I can create peace and joy on my own.”
It’s Time to Rewrite Your Story
Your relationship with alcohol is about so much more than drinking—it’s about the stories you’ve told yourself and the emotions that drive your actions.
And while those BELIEFS might feel deeply ingrained, they’re not permanent.
You’ve been stuck in a pattern, but patterns can be broken.
You just need to make a decision to choose what you believe, how you feel, and what you do next.
If you’re ready to take back control, start by asking yourself ONE simple question;
“What do I really need that alcohol cannot deliver?”
I know that you are stronger than you think, and change is easier than you’ve been led to BELIEF.
******
Ready to Discover My Framework for Fast and Easy Change?
If you’re tired of fighting with yourself over whether to have a drink and want to break free from the struggle, it starts with recognizing the Unconscious BELIEFS and patterns you run before you drink.
When you understand the “why” behind your drinking, staying in control becomes easy and natural.
Click to request your FREE 20 minute Take Back Control of Your Drinking Call , to learn more about my proven framework for creating fast, lasting change—no willpower, no struggle, just freedom, and take the first step toward living the life you deserve.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control & MidLIFE Woman Coach
