Is your relationship with alcohol easy and relaxed, allowing you to enjoy a social glass of wine and then stop, so that you remember the evening, wake clear headed , at peace with yourself and ready for the day?
Or is your relationship with alcohol destructive, painful, leaving you feeling out of control, guilty, hungover and ashamed?
And what would you give to be free from your relationship with alcohol? To feel the grace, ease and control around alcohol that others seem to have?
Waking up again today, ready and excited for work, I remember the 29 years of my drinking, that made no sense, that caused so much pain to myself and my son, and I am profoundly grateful that I know the truth of my old your relationship with alcohol, and how I changed it, which I am sharing now to help you change yours……
When you think about your relationship with alcohol, what thoughts do you run on helpless repeat?
Are you confused by the anxiety you feel at the thought of not drinking, and the fear you feel about not sticking with your two glass limit, and losing control again?
In all the years of my alcohol stress, pain, guilt and struggle, my focus was firmly on alcohol – on how much I drank, and trying to avoid/limit/change it, and nothing worked…..My focus was firmly on;
The devastating consequences of my drinking, and
On how to control my drinking
But the simple fact was, my relationship with alcohol was about so much more than alcohol.
And it also a fact that your relationship with alcohol is about so much more than alcohol too.
The real truth about mine (and your) daily drinking trap is about the tension inside you.
The pull between what you know, the results you see and feel after you drink – that it impacts your health, your relationships, your energy—and what you feel, the intention is, when you reach for that glass.
If you pause and think about this now, you will notice that you always act on what you feel you need, not what you know the results will be.
Those feelings are the BELIEFS you hold around alcohol – that it offers you any sort of comfort / relief, that you will miss out if you don’t drink, and that changing your drinking will be hard – none of which is true……..Do you recognise that?
And until you uncover the BELIEFS driving those feelings, it can feel like alcohol is running your life – because your BELIEFS in any area of your life, do run it!
So where do those BELIEFS come from?
Somewhere along the way, you learned that alcohol could make things better. Maybe it helped you relax after a tough day, made you feel more confident in social settings, or gave you a moment of peace in a chaotic life.
And of course, at first, it seemed to work – you wouldn’t BELIEVE it if it hadn’t….. You did felt better. You did feel more confident, you did fit in.
And because you felt better, your brain connected alcohol with relief, comfort, or fun. Over time, those feelings settled into your Unconscious Mind as BELIEFS including — “I need a drink to relax.” “Alcohol makes me more fun, “ and alcohol became an anchor to something much deeper and settled into an all powerful BELIEF.
But the truth is, alcohol didn’t create those BELIEFS. You did.
Your experience of drinking taught your mind that alcohol was the answer.
And those BELIEFS became so deeply rooted in your Unconscious Mind that they now drive your actions automatically—without you even realizing it.
The next step is to understand the tension you feel every day as you battle to stay away from alcohol….
The Real Tension: What You Know vs. What You Feel
Here’s where the tension comes.
Your Conscious Mind knows the truth – it sees the results of your drinking.
You know that drinking isn’t helping anymore. You’ve felt the impact on your sleep, your relationships, and your sense of control.
And when you’re tired, stressed, or feeling low, it’s not your conscious mind that takes over. It’s your emotions. You reach for a drink because you feel like you need it, even though you know it won’t fix anything.
But your Unconscious mind—the part that holds those BELIEFS and controls your behaviour—still clings to the idea that alcohol will make you feel better.
That’s the real relationship you have—not with alcohol, but with your own BELIEFS and emotions.
How to Take Back Your Power & regain Easy Control of Alcohol
The simple answer is that because you created those BELIEFS you can change them.
All it takes is a tried and trusted framework that you learn and can lean into at any time and in any situation, that releases your feelings that alcohol (or food, or shopping, or sense of unworthiness – all just beliefs), brings you any sort of comfort, and changing your drinking becomes easy!
To help you start your journey of changing the belief that alcohol brings you comfort, to the belief that alcohol is irrelevant in your life, I am sharing the five steps I created to help you dive deeper into your relationship with alcohol and start regaining control of your drinking, so that you live in happiness, peace, joy and confidence around alcohol:
1. Recognize the Story You’re Telling Yourself
Pay attention to the thoughts that pop up when you think about drinking. Do you hear yourself saying things like, “I need this to relax” or “It’s how I unwind”? These are the stories your subconscious mind has been repeating for years. Write them down. Awareness is the first step toward change.
2. Question the Beliefs
Ask yourself, “Is this true?”
For example, if you believe, “I need a drink to handle stress,” think back to a time when you coped with stress without alcohol. The more you question these beliefs, the more you’ll see that they’re not facts—they’re just patterns your mind created.
3. Separate Alcohol from the Feeling
Think about what you’re really looking for when you drink. Is it peace, confidence, or connection?
These feelings don’t come from alcohol—they come from within you. Start exploring deeper ways to meet those needs, like journaling, meditation, resting, creating space for yourself or simply talking to a friend.
4. Challenge the Myth That Change Is Hard
You’ve been told leant to BELIEVE that giving up or cutting back on drinking is difficult—that it requires willpower, sacrifice, or missing out on fun. But that’s a lie.
Change becomes easier when you shift your beliefs and focus on what you’re gaining: peace of mind, better health, and stronger relationships.
5. Remind Yourself That YOU Are in Control
Alcohol isn’t in control—you are. You created the beliefs that alcohol was the answer, and you have the power to create new beliefs that serve you better.
Start by telling yourself, “I know and honour my needs, ” and “I can create peace and joy on my own.”
It’s Time to Rewrite Your Story
Your relationship with alcohol is about so much more than drinking—it’s about the stories you’ve told yourself and the emotions that drive your actions.
And while those BELIEFS might feel deeply ingrained, they’re not permanent.
You’ve been stuck in a pattern, but patterns can be broken.
You just need to make a decision to choose what you believe, how you feel, and what you do next.
If you’re ready to take back control, start by asking yourself ONE simple question;
“What do I really need that alcohol cannot deliver?”
I know that you are stronger than you think, and change is easier than you’ve been led to BELIEF.
******
Ready to Discover My Framework for Fast and Easy Change?
If you’re tired of fighting with yourself over whether to have a drink and want to break free from the struggle, it starts with recognizing the Unconscious BELIEFS and patterns you run before you drink.
When you understand the “why” behind your drinking, staying in control becomes easy and natural.
Click to request your FREE 20 minute Take Back Control of Your Drinking Call , to learn more about my proven framework for creating fast, lasting change—no willpower, no struggle, just freedom, and take the first step toward living the life you deserve.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control & MidLIFE Woman Coach
