Isn’t LIFE strange……at the times of the year that are supposed to bring you and your loves together, connected to celebrate the graces of LOVE, PEACE and JOY, far too often find you find yourself connected instead to Stress, Anxiety and Overwhelm…….
And to cope maybe Drinking more than yourself you would….this time you would remember it all….instead of being snappy and irritable and desperate for the circus to end
Or Overeating in a way that leaves you feeling disgusted and ashamed
What actually happens is that you step out of your natural balance and rhythm, try to DO more, often spend more than you can afford, run around like a headless chicken, flapping and squawking to get things done, deciding to do too much, not asking for help, not taking a break, not nourishing yourself (I’m tired even thinking about writing these worlds)…..and in the process, completely neglecting YOU and YOUR needs and the result……
Stress, Anxiety, Overwhelm, too much alcohol, too much food and not enough YOU
So, as you go through your Easter, here are my Top Tips to help you stay IN balance (not control – control takes your energy, and means you are OUT of control), and to stay true to the wonderful human you are, loved and loving, peaceful and JOYFUL 🧡
Top Tips for a Stress Free EASTER
- Make a list of what needs to be done, then ask yourself of each one, “Does the NEED to be done?” Cross off any not ‘needs’. Put the bloody washing away until after Easter….anything unrelated to what needs to be done over the next 3 days….forget it…..do this every day
- DELEGATE….There is usually a job for every age group, every ability. Involve others, ask kindly, accept the results….the only one who knew the ‘perfection’ you were looking for is YOU…..
- Take regular TIMEOUTS – 10 – 15 minute, not negotiables times to stand outside, or in a room alone (sit on the loo if you have too), wrap your arms around yourself in a huge hug, slow your breathing and give thanks for the day, for your breath, for your heartbeat, for YOU
- EAT….regularly and small. Grap fruit, carrots, tomatoes….I often use raw veg and hummous to bridge the gap of meals…..
- Drink water, herbal tea throughout the day……the first sign of hunger is dehydration, so drink your water….keep a small bottle within reach, always.
- Say NO with a smile……when you are asked to do something, PAUSE, BREATHE, run it through your head when your breathing has calmed you, ask yourself, “What’s the next best step for ME?” and only then answer…..
- If you have to spend time with someone who upsets you, prepare yourself in advance. I say to myself, “I don’t understand why he/she is like this, I don’t know whats going on, so I will act and talk with compassion” You WILL respond differently.
- Go to bed when YOU need to….You don’t have to stay up late….You decide what’s best for YOU.
The more you put in place simple Self-Care, the easier your LIFE is….every day.
Anxiety, Stress, Exhaustion, Overwhelm, too much alcohol, too much food, ALL are results of you neglecting you.
Only you can put these in place. YOU are YOUR responsibility….no-one else’s….take that on board with the love and care it is delivered, and then ACT on it.
Your LIFE will get easier, you will end your struggles and you will have a peaceful, loving Easter.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
Is your LIFE a source of JOY to you? Do you feel the wonderful gifts of Happiness, Peace and LOVE flow through your days?
Or do you live in the shadows of your past PAINS?
Struggling to control your old wounds of Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt?
Struggling to stop them bleed from your yesterday’s into your choices / decisions of TODAY?
Your painful past is the main reason you are not living the LIFE of peace and joy you deserve. The LIFE of love, compassion and forgiveness that are YOUR gifts to you.
You know your wounds haunt you, and it is these painful wounds that affect your self-esteem, your sense of self-worth, self-acceptance, self-love, the losses of which are huge.
And even though you might be unaware of the full impact of your past pains, you always feel the weight of them lurking within you, and you have probably spent years struggling to reason, understand and talk your way through these heavy emotional burdens so that you can find the LIFE you may not even quite believe you deserve. You DO deserve that LIFE
You deserve the inner Peace, Balance, Trust and Joy that comes with the freedom to breathe and confidently make your best choices, without fear of bumping up against the rough cold hard edges of your painful past.
And you have tried to heal yourself. You have given your time and attention.
You have used spiritual practices, put in place the boundaries to protect your hurt heart, and yet you still have moments, sometimes days, when Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt rush back into your life, knocking you to your emotional knees, breathless with pain.
I lived within my Past Pain for all most all my adult life. I had just accepted that was how LIFE was.
I was lonely, very lonely, unsure, unconfident, feeling undeserving, and at the same time, projecting an image of me, happy, outgoing, fun, that was emotionally skin deep, and that could be ripped apart at any time, with a careless word by someone else, or an unexpected memory coming to the surface.
It was a hard way to live, and I didn’t even know it. And know I do.
And I had tried to feel better, I really had.
I know that there are so many wonderful therapies and interventions available, and maybe you too have tried some, learnt to meditate, read the self-help books, do the yoga and still, there feels as there is a cold emptiness inside of you….parts of you that you flinch from, boulders of unexpressed emotions lodged in your very being.
And I also know now, exactly why, with all your best efforts you still struggle, and how to let go of your struggle, effortlessly.
The feelings your memories throw up at you are ultimately there to protect you…..to stop you trusting people who may hurt you (even though all they way to do is love you), from taking brave steps to protect you from failure (even though the brave steps will take you to the life you long for, maybe a job, a house move) and so on.
It’s a confusing inner mess that makes no sense, and yet it is the truth.
And it makes no sense, because of where your have stored these emotions.
You may have heard of your Unconscious Mind, and if you haven’t, here it is, very briefly.
Your Unconscious Mind is the domain of your emotions, it has no language, so it doesn’t understand a damn word you say to it, it only represents your world symbolically to you through your feelings.
And it is your Super Power. Your Unconscious Mind controls 98% of your behavior, and its sole purpose is to, again, protect you from further hurt based on the feelings from your past. Does that make sense? Read it again.
Without any language your Unconscious Mind understands, you cannot ‘talk’ your way out of Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt, but you can LET THEM GO, through a gentle process of TimeLine Therapy.
I had my first TimeLine Therapy session 4 years ago, and it blew my mind in its simplicity and immediate freedom, and I knew I had to train as a practitioner to the highest level, to become a Master at it.
No-one should live the way I did, and it is my passion to create change the easiest way possible, and for me and my clients, TimeLine Therapy is one of the most powerful instruments for true, long lasting, deep down, heart and soul healing, change.
So, how does it work?
TimeLine Therapy is a powerful and gentle NLP process that ‘speaks’ directly to your Unconscious Mind, allowing you to take the golden learnings you need to protect you in the future, and so allowing you to peacefully release the need to hold on to your wounding emotions of Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt & Guilt that keep you stuck in a sadder life.
This powerful process takes only 2 hours and it is a process of instant breakthrough that allows for a truly magical transformation.
I still know and use the absolute power and freedom of TimeLine Therapy because I have used it on myself to heal my relationship with my long dead mother, to free myself from fear about starting my own practice and to let go of relationships that no longer support my dream of me and my life.
For my clients that transformations have been just as powerful, some have found the courage to move home, to start their own businesses, to address family relationships, and all my clients, regardless of thier reason for investing in TimeLine Therapy, have found the sense of weightless peace and freedom a source of joy.
I am a Master of TimeLine Therapy and a Master NLP Coach, and I know the ‘symbolic language’ of the Unconscious Mind, and how to use it to enable effortless change.
It is how I changed my drinking after 28 years of stress and struggle, and it is how I take my clients who struggle with food and alcohol on the same journey to freedom, as well as using it as a LIFE Coach, taking clients from Overwhelm to Inner Peace.
If you would like to experience the transformative process of letting go of all your old Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt & Guilt. To escape a past that no longer serves you and if you are ready to step back into your full potential and find the LIFE you deserve, contact me TODAY to book your 2 hour TimeLine Therapy Session.
In JULY (session can be taken in August), there is a special discounted offer of £495 (normal price £600) for this incredible journey of release, relief and final freedom.
The sessions are conducted via Zoom so you are safe and in the privacy of your own home.
Contact me HERE to book, just put TIMELINE THERAPY in the message and I will do the rest.
And as always and forever,
Be very kind and gentle with yourself
PS. Here’s one relieved client’s testimonial
“I was so unhappy, I hated where I lived, I felt stuck and trapped and I couldn’t forgive my Dad for my childhood. I didn’t really believe this would work but I follow Sonia and decided I had to make some changes and bloody hell……I have moved house and feel a level of forgiveness for my Dad I didn’t think possible. If you are debating over this, don’t, just do it”
- How are you thinking about your drinking?
- How are you feeling about your drinking?
- How are you DRINKING?
- Is your mind free of the tension and stress of your daily thoughts around whether to drink or not tonight?
- Of trying to rationalise last nights drinking?
- Of not sure what else you can do tonight to relax without a glass or two?
And how do you feel in this place of inner struggle, a struggle that no-one else can see, but which makes you feel like crying in your confusion and helplessness?
The more you struggle to control what you do, drink, the stronger the urge for a drink is….do you recognise that?
But it is not alcohol that causes that struggle.
Your drinking is what you do when you ‘give in’, your drinking is what you do to end the struggle, but it is NOT the cause of it….it is not alcohol that takes you to the wine aisle, when you promised yourself wouldn’t go there again.
It is NOT alcohol that you lose control over, it is the FEAR that overwhelms, that you lose control over and the FEAR that you drink to COMFORT (and if alcohol is not your ‘poison’ of non-comfort, you will recognise this in the way you eat, overspend, hoard, gamble….the painful actions you take)
So, in the context of your drinking, what is the FEAR really?
FEAR is the sign that you have the belief that alcohol brings you something (it all falls under the umbrella term of ‘comfort’), and that you will be denying yourself ‘comfort’ when you need it most.
You don’t feel ‘deprived’ or ‘missing out’ of doing anything that you believe makes you feel better, comforts you.
It is FEAR, that is the foundation of your struggle to change your drinking. Nothing more, nothing less, and then you add to it the other fearful beliefs you hold around alcohol such as;
- The FEAR around the fact that you just don’t understand why you drink
- The FEAR of how hard change will be, and for how long it takes for the change to settle
- The FEAR of how you will cope, how you will fit in, how you will relax, how you will feel confident in situations, deal with certain people
- The FEAR of the memories of your past failures which makes the thought of trying again so much harder
- And a myriad of other FEARS that you might not be able to even identify.
Your drinking trap is FEAR, not alcohol
I can even tell you where your fear shows up in your body. Sit for a moment and ask yourself,
“How do I feel about not drinking?” and notice the location and sensation in your body.
It is always a FEAR based feeling, (you might label it unease, anxiety, loss) and it always shows up first in your gut, which is your centre of self-esteem, your centre of self.
It is the same for everyone.
Yes, it might then grow into the heavy sadness in your heart, the black cloud of confusion in your head, but it always, always starts in your gut when you think about trying to change your drinking
Your FEAR is the blackout blind that blocks you, that cuts you off from freedom, that closes down opportunities to see, think, feel and drink differently.
Let go of the FEAR, and change, any change is easy. NEW yes, hard NO. JOYFUL yes, stressful NO.
To make the changes you long for, and deserve, you MUST stop looking at the answers in alcohol.
You MUST stop using avoidance tactics, counting units, setting limits on ALCOHOL.
Why? Because all these do is keep the FEAR under control, until something changes in your life, and you have no awareness of what is going on inside, with no strategies to re-balance, and so your old drinking thinking comes up, you don’t understand why, and you start to feel the FEAR of your successes slipping away and you return to your old drinking to comfort yourself.
Please, please read that again and let it settle. It is the TRUTH.
If the methods of change you have tried before haven’t worked consistently, give up those methods.
Finally accept what you know to be true, because you have the evidence, that they don’t work!
Open your mind away from them and ask yourself,
” If this hasn’t worked for me before, why do I keep trying it?”
The answer is, you don’t believe there is another way….DROP that now.
Until you do, you will keep pushing your exhausted spirit in a direction it doesn’t want to go, and as you know, just doesn’t work…..
Here are some more truths, which is you accept them, will change your life, effortlessly, without FEAR
- Change is NOT hard
- Change is NOT stressful
- Change does not come with FEAR
- Change comes through learning something NEW
- Change comes from having strategies, practical and spiritual that you can lean into easily
- Change brings EXCITEMENT for a new future
- Changes delivers PEACE, FREEDOM and LIFE as it is meant to be lived.
My drinking didn’t change because I suddenly became stronger, it changed when I became WISER, when I looked in a different direction which allowed me to feel differently, to shift my FEAR and then to use simple strategies which have taken me back to me, to my center, to my heart to my trust, and it will be exactly the same for you.
My message is simple, accept that it is FEAR that keeps you trapped and in need of comfort, so it is FEAR that needs to be understood and let go of, not alcohol.
Walk into your FEARS….you won’t find a terrifying alcohol monster ready to drown you, to watch you sink into oblivion. In fact you won’t find anything to wound or harm you, in you.
You will only find more of YOU, the loving, kind you who is frightened and desperately needing to be understood, to have your basic simple needs met, to be comforted, to be accepted, to be LOVED and cared for by YOU….and I promise you darling, when you do that, when you look within for the answers, they are always there and they are always easy to deliver.
I hope this helps you start to understand that alcohol is not what traps you, and starts you to have the compassionate, non-judgmental conversations with yourself that will ease your fears, because then, with some practical steps and spiritual practices you will find peace and freedom around alcohol, and in life, easily.
If you are ready to step out your FEARS, to simply LET THEM GO, if you have had enough of being exhausted over your struggle, if you have had enough of feeling overwhelmed by your drinking, ashamed of who you are when you drink, let’s talk.
Most of my clients drinking change from DAY ONE in WEEK ONE, and all who follow my unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process, change by WEEK TWO, because from the very first session, they understand and release the FEAR
The hardest part, the bravest part of change, is to step out of what you think you ‘know’ about your drinking, to accept that there is another way and that you just don’t know how to access that other way, and to say, ‘Help me’….
When you do that, you commit to becoming you again, the woman who drinks socially, who doesn’t hide her drinking, who doesn’t lie about her drinking, who is present and connected to life who has taken a journey of Relief, Release, Peace and JOY
Be kind and gentle with yourself
PS. If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE), reviewed by Ranvir Singh of Good Morning Britain as “Beautiful & devastating”,
Today is a day of expressing LOVE….one day, when it should be every day…..🧡
You may have a special someone else, you may not, and it doesn’t’ matter.
You are not alone, you have YOU 🧡
Regardless of how you are feeling about you, life, your drinking, any of your struggles, can I ask you to do one thing today, as someone who has lived for most of my adult life feeling isolated, overwhelmed and in struggle and sadness about who I was, and my painful drinking, who is now free and at peace, and wants the same for you…and from the bottom of my heart I do…that I do every day, on good days as well as sadder, because it always resets my world?….🧡
Take 5 minutes to sit quietly, wrap your arms around yourself, tight, rub your arms, your back, wherever you can reach, rhythmically, let your body rock into the movement, and with the tenderness you give to your loves, and rarely, if ever to yourself and lean into the feeling of being held, of strength of LOVE that will flow through you, from you and back into comforting your hurt heart, your wounded soul.
Breath deeply and say, in your head or out loud, with kindness,
I love you darling, I love you, I LOVE YOU 🧡
I know how hard you try 🧡
I know how well you mean 🧡
I know you’re a silly thing sometimes and I still, and always and forever will, love you 🧡
I forgive you 🧡
I feel complete compassion for how hard you try 🧡
I hear you 🧡
I see you 🧡
I LOVE you 🧡
Give yourself one last squeeze of SELF-LOVE, and go about your day.
When you do this every day. When you acknowledge the wonder of you (and you ARE wondrous), you will start to heal, you will accept who you are, you will be your strength, your stay, and EVERY aspect of LIFE will be softer, gentler, less frightening, and more manageable. I PROMISE you.
Be kind and gentle with yourself today and everyday.
PS, As I have evolved on my journey, so has my Coaching, I am so proud of the profound change my clients who struggle with their drinking get through my unique Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process.
To go from feeling out of control and fearful around what and how they drink to peace, freedom and easy choice, in less than 6 weeks seems a miracle to them, when the truth is, it is easy.
And now I have expanded my practice to include LIFE Recovery Coaching, guiding women who feel trapped in Overwhelm, Stress, and Frustration back to Inner PEACE through an exciting mix of Neuroscience, Practical Strategies & Spiritual Practices…..message me if you want to know more xx
You are living in a time of shifting sands, everywhere you look there seems to be upheaval and crisis, soaring costs, darker threats, greater losses.
And all when you when you had begun to hope that LIFE would settle and you could start to find your natural rhythm again, even if it is an adapted new natural rhythm…you are weary of the ‘fight’ and you LIFE has become less than it should be, often without you even realizing it……..
So, how are you? Really, how are YOU?
- Are you feeling OVERWHELMED by life?
- Struggling with STRESS & ANXIETY?
- Do you feel you have lost CONTROL over your days, going from work to home, with no time for you?
- Has LIFE lost its sparkle? Have you lost your PEACE & JOY?
And what have you learnt to ‘DO’ to try to feel better, to find little peace, calm, you time, every day?
Maybe you drink too much, or overeat, or overspend, and then have the added stress of trying to deal with the destructive behaviors you use to ‘comfort’ yourself.
Or maybe you don’t have a specific destructive behavior you can focus on to change, maybe you are just limping through life smile plastered on, when all you want to do is lie down and sleep. Do you recognize you here?
Overwhelm, stress, anxiety, self-imposed pressure to be perfect, and worry, are the emotional crises of modern life.
These powerful, negative emotions rob you of peace, balance, joy and LOVE of life…..and it is a tragedy that so many of you have learnt to almost expect, and accept, these feelings, and the behaviors you use, and have tried time and time again to change without long term success, and so just suffer in silence, waiting for life to get better, for you to get stronger, have more willpower and all the rest, when it just should not/need not be like that any day, let alone every day.
And you try to help yourself, you really do.
You try to drink less, eat better, re-connect with yourself. You read the self-help books (and it all makes sense), you do the yoga, the meditations/ mindfulness, you get outside, you breathe and it works, for a bit, but not enough….because it is not these ‘works’ that makes the difference.
Why? Because you are ‘working’ from the outside, you are focused on changing your DOING, in the hope it will change your life, and it doesn’t, because your life, how you view it, how you cope with it, the overwhelm you struggle with, the feelings of stress and anxiety, the loss of joy, come from WITHIN you, not your life circumstances…..Does that make sense? It is the truth.
Your WITHIN creates your WITHOUT, you hear that over and over again, and yet without knowing how to shift your WITHIN, the feelings that drag you down, don’t go away, and life gets less exciting, less shiny, just less……
When you are at peace within, you easily create the boundaries you need to protect you, you easily make the best choices for you.
Your life comes together in the flow you read about, but struggle to achieve.
In flow, you are no longer trying to jam the pieces of your life into an ill fitting, overlapping jigsaw. Instead you magnetically, and with love, draw your life together.
And when you do that, there is no overwhelm, no stress, no anxiety that cannot be resolved.
To be in flow is not just about the spiritual stuff…..and I have a very strong spirituality, and daily spiritual practices to keep me in balance, which include committing to madly dancing for 10 minutes every morning to Robbie Williams, “I love my life”, reading prose to re-center myself, gratitude’s and lighting a candle when I work, all of which work beautifully, alongside very practical strategies too.
To come out of overwhelm, out of stress, anxiety etc, you first need to understand the areas of your life where you are IN flow, and where you are most OUT of flow, before you even think about putting in place the LIFE change you desire.
When you are stressed, anxious and overwhelmed, it can feel as though every area of your life is ‘wrong’ and even thinking about change, becomes, well….overwhelming, because overwhelm throws everything in together, but that is not your truth.
Next you need to be coached, either by you or me😘 , through those parts of your life where overwhelm really is present, into greater awareness’s, insights and opportunities for change.
And you need to create a bespoke, self-loving structure and boundaries within which you feel safe to speak out, to ask for help, to receive help, to grow.
All of these shift your awareness from feeling trapped, powerless and empty, and focusing on trying to change your life circumstances – because lets be honest, I’m not talking about suddenly finding yourself living in Nivarna……often you can’t just pack up and move on from what’s going on, but you can, and for your physical and emotional wellbeing, MUST change your perception of your life circumstances. Find a way of thinking/feeling/perceiving your life, that comforts you, that expands you….
To bring this all together, the simple truth is that the way you think and feel about yourself and your circumstances, comes from WITHIN you.
From what you currently believe to be true of you, what you believe you are capable of, and deserving of, and having the strategies that align what your head and your heart (your thinking and your feeling), that take you out of all overwhelm, stress, fear and gently lead you back into peace.
When you are in balance within you, your life changes completely 🧡
You have acceptance, compassion, forgiveness and love for you first and foremost, and those birthright gifts, shift everything within you, and allow you the grace to navigate life’s storms without fear of drowning.
- Change is not hard, its not about being stronger, or harder on yourself.
- Change is not about trying to beat your gentle soul into submission.
Change always and only comes when you have new insights that expand what you know, your awareness and that create feelings of feelings of hope and excitement (the simple SECRET is to have the new thoughts and happy feelings at the same time, consistently), because when you do, you are aligned in your head and your heart, in what you know and what you feel, and in the place you can easily let go of what doesn’t serve you, mainly old worn out thoughts and feelings about you, and then putting in place the strategies that support your learning’s. That’s it. That’s all, its that simple.
I started my coaching journey taking women from Alcohol Pain to Peace, and I LOVE guiding my clients through the process of magical transformation, and now, I am expanding my practice into LIFE Recovery Coaching.
- A LIFE recovered is a JOY, a quiet joy in tough times, a heart sing JOY in the good times,
- A LIFE recovered is freedom from destructive behaviours, destructive thoughts, destructive feelings.
- A LIFE recovered is where you LAUGH at what used to bring you down, where you re-balance quickly, and have learnt to LET GO of what hurts you.
- A LIFE recovered is a whole life, a spiritually and practically aligned LIFE, a life free from the modern emotional crises of Overwhelm, Stress, Anxiety and back into PEACE
If you would like to have a chat about my LIFE Recovery Coaching, I work with three, 1:2:1 clients each month, message me HERE
Or why not join my new Facebook community, From Overwhelm to Inner Peace for support and inspiration.
Always, and forever, be kind and gentle with YOU
PS. If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE), reviewed by Ranvir Singh of Good Morning Britain as “Beautiful & devastating”, wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
How are you feeling? Not how should you be feeling, (because, let’s face it, other’s have it much worse than you)……
How are YOU feeling, in YOUR life, in YOUR situations, with YOUR stresses, frustrations, feelings of being trapped, overwhelmed, unheard……
And what do you DO with those feelings?
Do you brush them aside, try to hide them, push them down, not own them, because again, so many others have it so much worse, especially in the last 2 years?
Listen to me lovely, and please take this on board…..
In YOUR life, YOU are first, YOU are the most important person to protect, care for love and support and no-one else can do it for you…..NO-ONE….partners, friends, family can enhance your wellbeing, they cannot, and should not, have any responsibility for CREATING any aspect of your physical and emotional wellbeing….your peace, your calm, your freedom to be your best you….
Your job is YOU, their job is THEM.
Recently I was diagnosed with exhaustion…..and I was embarrassed to get that diagnosis.
Embarrassed because my experience of Lockdown, even though I had a brutal brush with COVID, because of the love I have in my life, the freedom I have because of my work, my home, the food in my fridge, my car, my dogs, my loved ones……..
Everything was easier for me than it was for far too many people…I had no worries, no concerns……and then a couple of life events happened, and out of respect for my loved ones I won’t tell stories that aren’t mine to tell, but I seemed to implode….not in the months I was needed to be my best, but when I was no longer in crisis living, and could breathe again.
That’s when I started to crash….to go down in my physical and emotional wellbeing, and even with everything I know as a Master Coach, with every tool I have I know completely works, with every daily prayer of gratitude I said, I would not acknowledge that I was allowed to feel the way I did.
And yet I was exhausted. My stutter came back, and all I wanted to do was cry and sleep…….and instead, I tried to pull myself together, remind myself of how lucky I am and soldier on……until I couldn’t, and then I stopped, and in that stopping, I gave myself permission to be how I was feeling and in doing that, to heal
To rest, to recover, to eat well, be outside, to connect with nature, to talk to my friends and family when I needed to, and to not talk when I didn’t need to. To lie on the sofa with my Girls (dogs) at the end of the day with a cup of tea, to not let anyone in that I didn’t have the energy for, and to protect my energy with self-loving BOUNDARIES of SELF-CARE
And I got better, and I have taken so much from that experience that I am so grateful for. It has been a huge growth curve of greater awareness of myself, and my needs, and I feel better now than I have in the last 2 years, easily.
And now I want to share those loving learning’s with you, so here’s what I know so far…..🧡
YOU have to set BOUNDARIES around you….
Not the usual harsh ‘Don’t drink/eat/shop’ BOUNDARIES that offer no comfort or support, but gently firm, self-protecting ones of ‘When I need rest, I rest’, ‘I say NO with love and grace when I don’t want/can’t do something’
Some of your BOUNDARIES are that you set aside time to eat, to be outside, to connect with loved ones.
If you don’t set your BOUNDARIES, others will set them for you, and they will be BOUNDARIES that work for them, not you…..even your loved ones will do this, innocently.
And if you aren’t used to setting BOUNDARIES, and anything new can seem daunting, start with a small one, something you KNOW you need to do….maybe its 10 minutes in the morning, where the family don’t disturb you, so that you can sit with a cup of tea and just give gratitude…..and if it means you get up 10 minutes earlier, that’s part of the BOUNDARY for you!
YOU have to practice consistent SELF-CARE, inconsistent SELF-CARE is like a spa day you take when you are exhausted.
The SELF-CARE I am talking about keeps you from getting to that point of exhaustion and all the overwhelm and frustration that you collect on the route there!
True SELF-CARE are the daily practices that keep you balanced and aligned. I read every morning, I dance for 10 minutes every morning, I pray and give gratitude every morning….These are just some of my non-negotiable SELF-CARE practices that take so little time and gift me back peace, balance, ME.
What SELF-CARE practices work for you?
YOU have to SPEAK…..
You have to learn to use your VOICE, to ask for help, to say that you need to be celebrated for what you do, to be acknowledged for who you are…..asking to be celebrated and acknowledged is just as important as speaking when you are in need.
When you stay silent, nothing changes…..so SPEAK
If you are not used to speaking, to being heard, so what, start now. Just take small steps, practice what you want to say, keeping your tone kind…..it works wonders, you just have to do it x
Don’t live IN your life circumstances……
Your feelings of stress, frustration and overwhelm do not come from your life circumstances, they come from how you VIEW the circumstances……from looking at life within any situation, you see more of the problems, by taking a couple of deep, long, slow breathes, you create ‘distance’ between the situation and your response, and in that distance, no matter how small, you have the opportunity to view every aspect of life, with greater awareness, compassion, forgiveness, as well as possibilities……..isn’t that a gift!
Ultimately all these learning’s and how to deliver them, come wrapped in one easy to deliver, always available, never changing solution….
YOU take RESPONSIBILITY for YOU…. gentle, self-accepting, self-loving, self-compassionate, self-forgiving, self-inquiring responsibility for you. because when you do, every aspect of life becomes easier.
Don’t look for, or expect the world around you to change, look to change the world within you, that is where all your joy, peace and freedom from frustration, stress, overwhelm, whatever is getting down, exists. That is the simple TRUTH. I promise you.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
I have created a new community, From Overwhelm to Inner Peace, to help exhausted and overwhelmed professional women break free from feeling trapped, overwhelmed. empty and frustrated, so that they regain joy and balance, through an powerful blend of neuroscience and spiritual practices….if you would like to be part of the journey, click HERE to request entry 🧡