Where does HAPPINESS come from?

Where does HAPPINESS come from?

Do you want to feel HAPPIER?

To enjoy a happier LIFE, happier relationships, lean into a happier past, project a happier future and be consistently happier in the present moment, even at the saddest of times?

Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

Happiness is the antidote to stress, anxiety and fear.

Happiness simply washes them all away.

In Happiness you eat moderately, drink in control, live with greater Peace of Mind.

Sounds great, but where does your HAPPINESS come from?

Happiness isn’t a random state of mind and heart. Happiness doesn’t come out of nowhere, Happiness isn’t available to others but not for you.

Happiness isn’t dependant on your LIFE circumstances, your painful past or projected future.

Your HAPPINESS, Peace of Mind, Joy, Freedom & LOVE all come from one place…..

Your HAPPINESS literally is your series of LIFE Choices only you can make – and even though you might know this, keep reading, I’m going to tell you exactly how to choose Happiness

Your Happiness comes from the Choices YOU make, such as;

  • Choosing to eat breakfast in the morning, so you are not running on physical empty (knowing that later in the day, physical empty affects your emotional emptiness too).
  • Choosing to get some time outside each day, rain or shine, to count your breaths as you breathe deeply, to look to the sky, and let your stressed thoughts drift away.
  • Choosing to spend 10 minutes reading something that lifts you up, that brings you back to the present moment ( I have some lovely recommendations)
  • Choosing who you spend time with, what you spend time on.
  • Choosing to reframe your painful past, to view yourself and others with compassion and forgiveness, that heals YOU – a huge Happiness Choice.
  • Choosing to respect yourself for the Human Being you are, not the Human Doing machine you are not.
  • Choosing to create your day of inner peace that is ALL you need to let go of your drinking / eating torture.
  • Choosing you, above all else, whilst not ignoring all else. 

So, yes that’s it your LIFE Happiness is your CHOICE.

But far too often, in your lower moments, when you haven’t made the best choices for you through the day, or the weeks gone by, it feels as though you have no choice.

It feels as though you run on autopilot from one stress and anxiety to another.

It feels as though your painful past cannot be healed – the memories are too strong, and you can think, “How can I make different choices?

To make different choices, you must understand and accept how your choices are made. 

And here is the answer, and the TRUTH.

All your LIFE Choices made from a series of Choice Patterns your run in different contexts – home, work, relationships, money and many more.

Daily Choice Patterns that bring you Happiness, Peace of Mind, Freedom, Joy, and LOVE, or

Choice Patterns that leave you stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, fearful or trapped in destructive behaviours – food, alcohol come up the most, however shopping, people pleasing, nail biting, smoking and so many more are real struggles for far too many.

Your LIFE Happiness results really are all Choices, YOU make, and there are no small choices. 

Each and every Choice you make, has an effect, maybe not immediately, but in the near or far future, each choice does. 

So, to change your LIFE results, to choose Happiness, you need new Choice Patterns only YOU can make.

Think of one area of your LIFE where you feel trapped or confused why you run on repeat, when you want change so badly, and ask yourself, “What is MY Choice making Pattern there?”

Because, you do have one. It will be a pattern that you run, that you may not even be aware of, but the truth is;

  • The Pattern IS there,
  • The Pattern was created by YOU, and
  • The Pattern IS running the show of your LIFE

And the good news is, any Choice Pattern can be changed. There is a simple process and it always works.

Regardless of how long you have run it, you can interrupt any Choice Pattern, and create a NEW ones, that takes you to the happier version of you, you deserve.

With my clients I use simple Choice Pattern Interrupts, that allow them to step out of the old pattern that doesn’t serve them, even if they are already in it, and to step into the new Choice Patterns we create in our sessions.

One client had a Choice Pattern that kept her stuck in People Pleasing.

Someone would ask her to do something, she went straight into her Pattern of needing to be liked, lacking the confidence to say what she thought, to express her lack of time, needs and said “Yes”

Together we identified how she wanted to respond, and why, and created a Pattern she ran quickly in her mind, that made her feel confident in her response, and allowed her to say, “That doesn’t work for me right now” (no sorry going on), and deliver her “No” with kindness and ease.

Those simple “No’s”, freed her from stress, anxiety and overwhelm, and gave her the space and Happiness she wanted so badly in LIFE.

What Choice Pattern are you trapped in, that takes you further from the Happiness, Peace of Mind, Freedom, Joy and LOVE you dream of?

For every LIFE problem, there IS  a Happiness solution, even if you cannot change the situation, there is a powerful shift in perception you need that brings you peace.

And right now, your Happiness solution is simply outside of the Choice Pattern you are stuck in.

COMMITTED to living your HAPPIEST LIFE, let’s talk. Contact me (HERE)

FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker Experience

FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker Experience

FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker Experience

How do you drink?

😢 Daily and out of control, feeling stressed, anxious and fearful around alcohol and the amount of headspace your drinking takes up? Or

😘 Do you easily enjoy a social drink, without losing control, relaxed, happy, sipping slowly, enjoying the time and taste, and then putting the bottle back in the fridge, for days or weeks, before taking it out again?

There is a huge difference between out of control drinking and social drinking, and most of my clients want to be free to enjoy a social drink, and why shouldn’t they, why shouldn’t you!

Because to end out of control drinking, does not mean you cannot drink socially.

To sip a glass of wine at dinner, to raise a glass of champagne at a celebration, to toast a happy occasion, or to have the occasional beer on holiday, is perfectly possible, once the stranglehold of your out of control drinking is understood, the fear has gone, there is no more ‘crazy’ mind chatter of

“For Gods’s sake don’t, you are destroying everything”, vs, “You deserve it, it will be different this time” (which it never  is…..)

💯 Going from being a daily out of control drinker, to a simply socially drinker is a process, a simple process of new awareness’s, practical strategies and spiritual practices, that you reflect on and repeat to rebuild your trust and confidence in yourself, because when you do, you lose the fear that keeps you trapped in the first place.

💯 Going from being a daily out of control drinker, to a simply social drinker, has very little to do with alcohol, and everything to do with alcohol, and very much to do with how you have learnt to feel about what drinking brings you, and how hard change will be.

Your drinking is a whole BELIEF system, powering away behind your eyes, which is fabulous news, as you can change your BELIEF system, and  you can go from daily pain, to easy peace and still enjoy a social drink

Curious?  Join my FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker experience, and learn LIVE from a me, a formerly drunk mother, now a simply social drinker, the easy way, to finding peace and freedom around alcohol.

COMMITTED?  We start on Monday, 29th MAY, in a private space, for a 5 day transformative experience, that will

  • Open your mind to a new way of thinking around alcohol
  • Ease your heart as you feel the truth settling with hope.
  • Calm your mind, releasing you from your endless mind chatter, and
  • Offer you freedom to choose when and how you drink, without fear of Cravings, trying to find Willpower or fear of Losing Control…

Contact me now HERE to join! spaces are limited.

Does your Drinking, make you feel like an ADDICT?

Does your Drinking, make you feel like an ADDICT?

In your quietest moments, in the dark of the night, when you lying in bed, wide awake again, despairing and so unhappy, how do you think and feel about your drinking?

Has it become a problem that makes no sense, that confuses and terrifies you?

You told yourself tonight would be different, you told yourself you would just have a couple, or none at all….but you didn’t….you had a bottle, and tonight was just the same as last night, and the night before, and so many, many other nights.  You feel heartsick, depressed and lonely in your battle.

Faced with all your ‘failures’ to change, how do you label you, in your drinking?

You will label yourself, you have to, you need something that explains, just to you, what the hell is going on…..and often that word, in your darkest moments is Addict. 

“I am addicted to alcohol”

Addiction is a big word. A hard word to apply to yourself. A terrifying word. It is a word of out of control, destructive, compulsive behaviours, relapse & hard work to recover….if you can.


But not everyone who struggles with any compulsive, repeated, out of control behaviour is addicted.


So the fear of relapse, hard work and losing control again also, also does not apply.


Daily drinking can simply be (and I use the word ‘simply’ intentionally), a pattern you have slipped into, that confuses you, and in that confusion, frightens you, and in that fear, you stay trapped in the pattern because you have closed down around the problem, instead of looking outside of it for the solution.


It is understandable that you are frightened of what you don’t understand about your own behaviour – any behaviour that damages your health, your relationships, your finances, your LIFE.


To wake up in the morning, upset and disappointed by last nights drinking, promising yourself you won’t drink again tonight, feeling just a little better by making that promise, and then feel the promise disappear as you get closer to ‘wine o’clock’, and your mind goes into overdrive trying to stop yourself / justify that it will be different this time, before you give in and drink again, feels like a form of madness.

 Madness because you know the results of your drinking, and you just can’t stop.

 And yes that can be addiction, and no, it often isn’t…..

 The spectrum of problem drinking is so wide, so long and open, and so should the opportunities for lifelong change be.

 But they aren’t.

 There is the accepted, standard one-size-works-for-all method of changing your drinking, and  no matter how different the packaging looks, it is all the same. 

The focus is on alcohol.  On limiting, control, avoiding drinking people, places and situations, and on creating boundaries around alcohol.

 And often it includes mediation, exercise, talking therapies, but there is very little of the core truth that you have learnt to drink to bring you ‘comfort’ – a huge umbrella term (and numbing out is better than feeling/remembering so is also comfort), and the huge, HUGE part that is where in my experience your drinking (eating, shopping, nail biting, gambling etc) problem lies, in the true controller of your LIFE and behaviours, your Unconscious Mind.

You may well have heard something about your Unconscious Mind, but very few apply what they know about it, and its ‘control’, to their drinking, eating, anything they do, that they hate, and yet feel powerless to change. 

I believe this to be the home of any destructive behaviour – not your past, your truama, your lack of confidence, trust, self-esteem, but the home of what you have learnt to believe brings you ‘comfort’ from these wounds.

And you will not change any destructive behaviour, when you focus on what you are doing – drinking, eating, gambling – instead of the intention, the BELIEF behind it, that it brings you comfort, that change will be hard.

 After 28 years of hell around alcohol, I changed my drinking easily, not by focusing on alcohol, but by learning, understanding and acting on what I now know to be true about myself, my drinking, my fears around change, all of which were BELIEFS in my super power, Unconscious Mind, that alcohol bought me comfort.

 BELIEFS that were in total contradiction to what I intellectually knew, what I could see, feel and hear, the results of my drinking were.

 To make it easier, your BELIEFS show up as your feelings, and you act on what you feel to be true, not what you intellectually know to be true – that is your conflict, that is what your inner battle is all about.  You are fighting your thoughts and feelings, you are fighting YOU, not alcohol.

 I know that by trying to stop drinking, I was denying myself my source of ‘comfort’ and leaving myself wide open and vulnerable without any other awareness’s or resources.

 I use what I have learnt to be the TRUTH about changing any destructive behaviour and I have put it together in a simple, minimalist approach to change process, my 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process.

 I know the steps you need, and the ones you don’t need to find your peace and freedom around alcohol, and you only do the ones you need!

 I have guided 1000’s of men and women through this process and back to their freedom and peace around alcohol.

You need to find a way of thinking, feeling, living that works for you.  That resonates with you, that sits well within your other BELIEFS.

That doesn’t take your energy, but gifts you energy, and then COMMIT to paying attention, following the process, walking back to freedom, peace of mind, happiness, confidence, self-respect and CHOICE.


Want to know more,  let’s talk.



LOGIC will NOT Change Your DRINKING….here’s what Does……

LOGIC will NOT Change Your DRINKING….here’s what Does……

The more desperate you are to control your drinking, the harder changing it feels and becomes.

The unhappier you are about your drinking, the harder changing it feels and becomes.

The more fearful you feel about your drinking, the harder changing it feels and becomes.

The more you try to DO what logically makes perfect sense to fix the problem of your drinking, the harder fixing it feels and becomes.


Because in desperation, unhappiness or fear, your focus is lasered in ON the ‘problem’ of your drinking, magnifying the problem of your drinking, creating greater stress, and cutting you off from the gentle, curious conversations with yourself, that will allow you to change your drinking.

In the problem of your drinking, you focus on how to avoid, control, limit etc alcohol.

You focus on the things you logically know you must do to take you out of hell and back to the freedom, happiness and peace of mind you know will come from changing your drinking – to stay away from the bottle, and the more desperate, unhappy and fearful you become of how hard changing your drinking will be, the more it will be!

Because this is the truth.

  • Your drinking is not logical. 
  • Your daily mind battle is not logical – you don’t want to drink, and then you convince yourself it will be different this time, and it never is.
  • Your night-before-drinking feels completely illogical (I used to think it was a form of madness), to you the morning after, when you have drunk too much again. 

And applying logic to an illogical problem, (your drinking, eating, spending, whatever your personal pain point is), does not, cannot work long term.

Here’s why. Your lack of control around alcohol is not created, and therefore cannot be fixed, in your logical mind.

It is only your fight against your out of control drinking is created there, and it is your logical conflict of, “I’m not drinking again tonight”, “I’m worried about my health/relationships”, “Did I say something stupid/unkind”.

Which is met with what you know to be your completely illogical responses of “It will be different this time”, “You deserve one”, “I’ll just have the one”  and all the rest……and as you know yourself, the illogical wins……

Read this as many times as you need for the message to settle.

Your drinking is a hard problem (only because of your current perception of it), and a hard problem, requires hard work to ‘solve’ it (again, only because of your current perception of it).

And you search through your mind  to find and apply the solutions that makes logical senses – all along the lines of control/limitation/avoidance, just stay away from the damn stuff, and still you stay stuck in the same problem, trapped in your painful drinking cycles.

And in doing so, you cut off any awareness’s that are the truth of your drinking.  

You have learnt to believe alcohol brings you some comfort, some time-out, some peace, some confidence, happiness, safety, joy…….

And your logical mind is telling you to stop doing the thing, drink, that delivers those things……

To change your drinking, easily.  To regain control around alcohol, and to not even have to say ‘never again’, you must, MUST, be open to so much more than what you logically know.

  • Logic is like a machine, and in your personal life, it is hard, it is cold, and it does not feel into YOU. 
  • Logic is the DO this, and you will get the result you want.

You are NOT a machine, and it is when you try to treat yourself as a machine that changing any area of your LIFE, gets harder. 

You are a living, breathing, soft and gentle mind, heart and soul…..and the answers to your drinking lie in who you are BEING towards YOU, when you turn to drink.

Alcohol cannot deliver happiness, comfort, joy, peace or anything else, but when you have no control over your drinking, it takes you further from the discomfort, the lack of happiness, comfort, joy and peace that you are experiencing when your desire to drink is stronger…..just to end your daily mind battle delivers a sense of peace because the fight is over. 

And of course, to knock back a drink and get the instant hit is quicker and easier than paying attention to you and your true needs, and acting on them.

But it is also the quickest and easiest way to destroying love, health, happiness and LIFE for both you and your precious loves.

To change your drinking, to regain control of your alcohol battle, you MUST stop searching your logical, it makes sense, but does not work, information you currently run on repeat.

You MUST accept what doesn’t work, and stop looking at the same worn out solutions that don’t solve.

And you MUST widen your awareness through gentle self-inquire, and engaging with YOU.

Changing your drinking comes easily through new awareness, new insights, practical strategies and spiritual practices (and if that grates at all, think of this, spiritual practices are not logical…and logic has not changed your drinking).

If you are COMMITTED to a unique way of taking back control of your drinking, finding freedom from your alcohol trap, reigniting your happiness, love and peace of mind, let’s talk.

My unique, simple and easy (yes, easy), 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method way is a paradigm shift away from the old way of changing your drinking that does not work, and into the new way, which does.

Be kind and gentle with yourself.


The FIRST Step to Powerful, Easy Change is……

The FIRST Step to Powerful, Easy Change is……

For most of my adult life, I woke up daily full of shame, guilt and fear over my lack of control around my drinking, and most of my behaviours.

For the first couple of seconds I might have peace, and then it would hit me like a thud of stone cold in my heart. “What had I done?”, “What had I said?, “Who had I spoken too?”…..and I would start to cry, before getting out of bed, trying to pretend all was well, that I was well and happy….I lived a lie, a constant, painful, soul destroying lie….

And in all those years of living my lie, all I wanted/hoped/dreamed of was to change my LIFE, – to have a LIFE.

Of having, Happiness, Love, Freedom, Peace of Mind, Self-Respect, Self-Esteem, a home that felt like a home.

A home that felt safe, secure and full of LOVE.

And as the exhausted Drinker, Binge Eater, People Pleaser, depressed and anxious woman I was back then, I didn’t have any of it….and I didn’t even know what having those joys would feel like, if I deserved them, or honestly, how I would cope or be if I did have them.

I wanted to be more of a woman, more of the mother my beautiful, precious son deserved, and I was less. Always less.

But I did try. I really did…..but I didn’t understand what Change needed of me, I didn’t know there was a foundation to change, I didn’t know the start point, the strong foundation, of any and all LIFE change, and so I stayed in sadder, lonelier place for many years more than I should have.

I don’t want the same for you, so please, I strongly advise you to read my message. It was my truth, it is yours too.

What do you want to Change in your LIFE?

Whatever it is you want to Change in your LIFE, there is one FIRST STEP, that if you miss it, makes Change a much harder, a much longer process and dilutes your forward moving, “I know I can do this”, success focused energy, into the slower moving, ‘I hope it will work” fear based, energy.

And that first STEP, is ACCEPTANCE, (in 2 parts);

  • ACCEPTANCE of where you are right now, today, in the very moment you are reading this.
  • ACCEPTANCE that what you have tried in the past, hasn’t worked for you and you let go of any expectation of it working now…..

When you simply ACCEPT where you are, and don’t waste a moment of your time trying to rationalise how you got there, who said / did what that lead you to this point in LIFE, you have the bedrock, the FOUNDATION of Change firmly in place.

When you simply ACCEPT where you are, you stop fighting yourself over your PAST. You LET GO of blame, shame and guilt – all of which keep you trapped in a time and space that has gone, and does not serve you moving forward…Tough talk I know, and if you want Change, you’ll take it on board and ACCEPT it.

You stop looking at what didn’t work for you, the process, method, that didn’t work. You stop trying harder to do what you know doesn’t work.

You ACCEPT that the process, method didn’t work, and you bring back your energy into looking at what else is out there, in different directions, at different perspectives, and you LET GO.

Of course your past, and your experience of trying, is valuable.

It holds the INFORMATION about who you were BEING when you were unhappy, fearful, anxious, in certain situations, and with certain people, and that information you can use going forward to future proof yourself. But that is all it is.

The more energy you spend on looking back, to times and places you cannot change one second of, the less of your super power energy you have to propel you forward to being the person you want to be, Happy, Healthy & HEALED.

I know from my own LIFE experiences, how exhausting it is to look back for answers to my Drinking, Binge Eating, feelings of Unworthiness to be successful, to be loved, and I never really found them anyway!

I also know that;

✨ CHANGE isn’t a random chance experience, even if it seems to be.

✨ CHANGE is a simple, self-aware, self-loving PROCESS, that gifts you back LIFE in the upper case experience it is supposed to be.

I know I am repeating myself, but it is important that you take this in……Change needs a strong foundation of ACCEPTANCE.

From there, Change it is a series of inner SHIFTS that allow you to go on a beautiful journey of self-exploration, with gentle curiosity, that will show you what you need, and the steps to take….and those steps will be very different, more compassionate, self-loving, self-forgiving, self-accepting, than you have ever taken before, and your transformation will be a source of JOY.

💖 You deserve to be Happy
💖 You deserve to be Healthy,

And both come through the gentle, loving HEALING that only YOU can deliver.

I am a Time Bender in the process of Change, I know the quickest way to LIFE Change, I know the steps you need to take, and the ones you don’t, and I can walk you through them with Grace & Ease.

If you are ready to LET GO of what holds you back in LIFE, to release the blocks to your Happiness, your Health and your deep HEALING, lets chat (HERE).

You are only ever a few SHIFTS away from Freedom and Peace of Mind, I promise you.

Be kind and gentle with yourself

Sonia x

5 Day INNER SHIFT Transformation Experience

All LIFE change comes easily when we SHIFT out of our current perception of any LIFE problem, and the smallest of INNER SHIFTS can start any transformation, instantly, with excitement and trust in a process we cannot even see.

 INNER SHIFTS open up doors in your mind and heart, they let in new possibilities and opportunities for change, they allow you to become unstuck in the places you need ‘unsticking’ most, and they release Stress, Fear, Anxiety, and allow you to end any unhappy habit, with an ease you didn’t think possible.

 I love INNER SHIFTS, they have changed my LIFE, and will continue to do so as I accept and leand into what they are teaching me, and my goodness, I have needed them in recent years. here’s just one instance, where I have let in a SHIFT, and am working it!

 I’m moving again….I can’t believe it.. Oh God

In October of last year I finally sold my house, after 2 years of wanting / needing /dreaming of leaving, and the ups and downs of hope, then disappointment, then hope again…..

The upheaval and uncertainty has taken its toll – it couldn’t not, as humans we are always looking to feel safe, and uncertainty isn’t a safe feeling.

But it also could have been a great deal worse.  And I am so grateful thank God, the Angels, whoever, that my journey to Happiness, Health & deep HEALING has given me the SHIFTS of awareness, that allowed me to create the tools to draw myself in, to reframe LIFE situations, to know, protect and honour my needs in a way that kept me SAFE then, and will keep me in the Grace and Ease of LIFE I need, to move forward.

And now I am doing it all again.  My son has decided it we are too isolated and too far from his work in the Met Police, and has found a shared house, closer to his work, his gorgeous girl, and the things he enjoys in LIFE.  And I am so proud of him for recognising his needs and acting on them.

So, less than 6 months after the huge move out of my previous LIFE of 17 years, I am looking at my NEXT BEST STEP for ME.

This was a good stop gap, and a huge learning curve, and I don’t regret a moment of the experience (there wouldn’t be any point to regret anyway, so…..)

And now, with only myself to consider, I am going to take what hasn’t worked (that I didn’t know wouldn’t work for me), and use my learnings to make better informed decisions about where I want to live, what I need in my environment to make me happy, all of which were my previously unknown needs, and that are now very clear to me.

Can you see how I have reframed this experience?

And how that reframe gives me freedom, greater peace of mind, ecomfort and support to me going forward?

I am not allowing myself to wallow in the costly mistakes – again, there is no point, and instead I am leaning into the Gift of the experience, and use what I have learnt as another set of powerful growth INNER SHIFTS.

It is the INNER SHIFTS that I have ALLOWED to take place, that I have actively looked for, and embodied that have grown me as a woman, a mother and a LIFE Recovery Coach.  I have evolved in a way I didn’t expect, and I embrace my evolution completely.

So, back to the important part of my message, YOU….with the deepest gratitude for all I have learnt, in the years since I changed my out of control Drinking, my Binge Eating, feeling Not Good Enough, Exhausted, Anxious and Stressed, to the Freedom of Choice and Peace of Mind and Heart I enjoy even on the toughest of times,  I have created and am running a powerful 🔥 FREE, 5 Day INNER SHIFT Transformation Experience 🔥, in a private FB group.

This experience is very close to my heart and it is my passion to change lives as easily and quickly as possible.

Commencing Monday, 13th March, my 🔥FREE 5 Day INNER SHIFT Transformation Experience🔥 is an event that includes;

  • Daily LIVE video trainings
  • Simple tools that SHIFT you immediately, &
  • Supporting worksheets to help you embed what you discover,

And the 🔥FREE 5 Day INNER SHIFT Transformation Experience🔥 will, teach you

  • Discover what SHIFTS really are, and the POWER of them
  • The ONLY reason any LIFE Change seems hard
  • Why you stay trapped in your Pain, and live a LIFE less than you deserve
  • How to recognise and SHIFT any unhelpful, THOUGHTS & FEELING Patterns
  • How to Create more Happiness, Health & HEALING whenever you want

If you are ready to go through a LIFE changing experience, and learn simple tools and strategies that you can apply to ANY area of your LIFE, join us! 

Here’s the link to request entry to the 🔥FREE 5 Day INNER SHIFT Transformation Experience 🔥

I hope to see you there, and in the meantime,

Be very kind and gentle with YOU.

Sonia x

10 Questions to Free You from Your Alcohol Pain, Effortlessly

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