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What Time Does Your Drinking Start?

What Time Does Your Drinking Start?

What time does your daily alcohol battle start? 

Is it a time on the clock, or at the end of your working day? 

What signals to you that it’s time to crack open the bottle?

Most of my clients say that they don’t think about alcohol until the late afternoon, early evening, and even if alcohol does cross their minds much earlier, they have got those thoughts under control. But then, as their day creeps on, their resolve seems to slide down a slippery slope from a manageable low-level awareness to a barnstorming non-negotiable, drinking inevitability – even though they absolutely don’t want to drink that night. 

Do you recognise you here?

Do you make a decision, as soon as you wake up, that tonight you won’t drink? 

Regardless of the time, be it 4.30am when you first become aware of your dull headache and remember the night before, or at 7am when you get out of bed, un-refreshed and look with sadness and despair at your reflection in the mirror, is that when you make a pact with yourself that today will be different?

However early in the day your first sad alcohol thought is, that is the time your drinking begins, many hours before the physical act of putting the glass to your lips!

From the very moment you make the decision that you are not going to drink tonight, because of the way you drank last night, you step into the cycle of your nightly drinking.

Why?  It is so simple. You make the decision not to drink because of the way you feel about yourself and your drinking, and then you have to drink, to comfort the way you feel about yourself and your drinking! 

When your very first thoughts of the day are of embarrassment, shame, failure or even just physical unwellness due to your drinking, you start your day in desperate need of comfort. But instead of the kind, loving, compassionate words, understanding and actions you truly need, you berate yourself for your ‘weakness’, with harsh unkind thoughts, unloving actions, and so your inner day is set.

The very thing (your drinking), you don’t want to do,  the very thing that robs you of your sense of peace, self-respect, self-love, in fact any sense of your true self, is the very thing (drinking) you have learnt to believe (in intention, not result), comforts the lack of all of those ‘selfs’, and so many more, your probably can’t even identify.

Do you recognise that too?  It is an absolute truth.

I used to wake up every day, feeling a total failure and silently promise myself, my son, as well as pleading with a God I don’t believe in, that today I wouldn’t drink.  Yet it was the feelings of being a failure of who I was, and the mother my son deserved, that set me up for the first glass that evening.

I couldn’t live without comfort, and nor can you. I had no idea that I needed to gently enquire of myself what I was thinking, feeling before I drank – not about alcohol itself, but about ME. I knew nothing of my innocent self-neglect, and put it all down to me being completely helpless around booze.

I didn’t know that I had learnt to believe that alcohol was any sort of comfort.  And in all my innocent not knowing, I blamed my weakness, my addiction as part of who I was, and who I was destined to always be, and of course, accepting that desperately sad knowing, meant I craved comfort (alcohol) more, not less.

My journey to peace and freedom around alcohol, my understanding of who I am and what I need, my understanding of the necessary role I created for alcohol in the absence of knowing myself, and then delivering those simple needs, released any belief that alcohol was any sort of solution. 

I no longer ‘craved’ alcohol and I understood that I never had, I had only ever ‘craved’ ME. 

My clients sometimes say they are not drinking because they feel better about themselves, but the truth is the other way round, the ‘feeling better’ about themselves is the TRUE reason they are not drinking, and once they understand that truth (which they do very quickly), out of control drinking quickly becomes a thing of their past, effortlessly.

My sober journey is the joy of my life, and each week I learn something wonderful and new that I acknowledge with gratitude for the gift of it, and the gift in life it makes ME.

I can say now with acceptance, that  I love who I am, the good, kind, flawed, trying all the time woman, that is exactly who you are too – we are all the same inside our skins. 

You, me, all of us are made of love, compassion, joy and forgiveness, you have simply stepped out who you are in your drinking, and without knowing it, you grieve the loss of you, and continue to drink in the absence of even being aware of your loss or how to comfort you.

Drinking is your comfort that doesn’t comfort, and to change your drinking, effortlessly, all you need is a new perspective, new awareness’s and new practices that allow you to release the belief that alcohol brings you anything, and step into the empowering reality that is that you are the comfort you need.  

I created the unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method coaching process based on the new perspective, awareness and simple practices that removed any emotional attachment to alcohol from my life, and now it does the same for my clients.

If you have had enough of your alcohol struggle, of feeling lesser than you are, of feeling out of control around alcohol and would like to be able to take or leave a glass of something chilled occasionally, contact me. 

The only hard part of change through the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method is the reaching out, from their it is an easy, loving, eyeopening journey of peace and freedom back to you.

Be kind and gentle with yourself

Sonia

Before you go, why not take a look at just some of my wonderful client’s Testimonials and ask yourself, don’t you deserve this peace and freedom too?

The JOY of being a Sober Mother

The JOY of being a Sober Mother

How did you wake up this morning? A can full of beans, half a can of beans or feeling like an empty can of beans that has been lying neglected in the bin for a week?

And what part did your drinking last night play in the way you feel today?

Today I am a full can of emotional beans, and half a can of physical beans, because last night was a show stopper in my life.

I finally got to bed at 3am, after driving home a very drunk friend of my son’s, who couldn’t remember his address.

I would have preferred him to stay the night, even though I would have had to sit with him (he was that drunk), but he was adamant, in the way only a totally pissed person can be, that he go home, because it is his mum’s birthday today – that poor women is in for such a treat……

When I finally made it home, I spent the next 90 minutes clearing vomit from the hall, the front steps and my Girls – yes, ladies, he had thrown up on my sleeping dogs! I mean WTF!!

Now this is a lovely, kind, funny, thoughtful, delight of a young man, and this episode was totally out of character. Last night he just lost the alcohol plot, in exactly the same way that I, and you, are lovely, kind, funny, thoughtful, delights of women, who have also just lost the alcohol plot.

I lost my alcohol plot for 28 years, yet I am effortlessly, peacefully now safely back in the loving, safe home base of me.

And the irony of last night is not lost on me. I am fully aware that last nights scenario could easily have been me, probably was me in the past. But now that my Golden Ticket in life son is an adult, that it would have been my son, getting me to bed, making sure I had water, putting a container by my bed for me to be sick in.

That my son would have slept badly worrying about me, ashamed, disappointed and embarrassed by me, (as I would have been 100 times more when I finally woke up), and yet I live in the grace of knowing that will never happen again.

So, how do I feel this morning?

Happy, blessed at peace, proud, joyful, profoundly grateful and a little bit tired. And whilst tiredness passes, the other emotions never do, because yet again, I was the mum my son needed, and the surrogate mum his friend desperately needed.

The mum who just got up in a ‘crisis’ and ‘did’, both capable and calm.

The wonder of the mother I had so long dreamed of being. The mum who took over, stepped up, who loved and cared, without stress or trauma, for me, and for these incredible young men, and all because I am sober.

This woman is who you are too, its just that in your drinking pain you have temporarily lost sight of her.

But only for as long as you decide to lose sight. In the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method, I have developed a trailblazing new approach to the world of recovery from alcohol pain, that comes from a different perspective, using a compelling combination of my research, training’s and supported by the powerful skills and practices as a Master Practitioner of NLP, a Transformational Coach and Master Coach, to deliver a complete, holistic toolkit for life long change to you drinking.

My work is not for women who want to be saved. It is for women who want to be empowered. For women who want the return to their self-trust and self-love to own the changes to their drinking they make, and to know that no matter what life throws at them, they will stay in the pace and grace of freedom from any alcohol ‘need’.

If my message resonates with you, and you are ready to commit to stepping back into the woman and mother you truly are, the golden opportunity is here, waiting for you.

I have used everything I have learned on my journey back to a women I adore, understanding that your struggle with alcohol has very little to do with alcohol and everything to do with your ‘Alcohol is the Solution’ belief.

I know that willpower, control, motivation, avoidance and all the old tried and failed methods don’t work, and so do you, because you have tried and ‘failed’ over and over again. And I also know what does work, effortlessly.

So if now is your time, take the only hard step to change and reach out to me, today. All you have to do is hit reply with a ME, and I will do the rest.

Have a peaceful day and be kind and gentle with your lovely self.

Sonia x

PS. I love to share my clients joy at their freedom, so here’s a recent Testimonial, from my unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method coaching process. The success of this exciting new life/drink changing methodology, is spreading quickly, don’t you deserve to this easy success?

“Hi Sonia, I used your ‘Instant Alcohol Freedom’ technique twice last week and I am still in happy disbelief at how quick and easy it is to let go of my alcohol mind battle. You’re right, I feel empowered by ME, not saved by you. I am doing this!!”

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If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable and to let him know in the clearest way possible, that always was, and always will be, my Number One.

How Much JOY of LIFE Has Your Drinking Taken From You?

How Much JOY of LIFE Has Your Drinking Taken From You?

It’s my birthday next week and my Golden Ticket of a son is taking a half day for a secret treat (God help me – I imagine I will be climbing something and sweating buckets of fear knowing his idea of a ‘treat’……) He told his work I will be 75, when in fact I will only be 56 years young!

A grateful, blessed 56 years young. Grateful and blessed to have these years of absolute joy of life that I didn’t think was possible.

I am older, saggier, funnier, kinder, more at peace with myself , more comfortable in my increasing wrinkly skin than I have ever been, and beyond grateful to have another sober birthday and the opportunity to see, feel and hear the wonders of life all around me.  Wonders I didn’t even know I existed during my drinking years.

I wanted to be sober so badly, and I knew all the things I didn’t want any more of, the headaches, the shame, the pretending I was ok, when I was anything but.  The exhaustion of always being the life and soul, minus any real life or soul, the lying, the hiding my drinking and the trying to convince myself I was in control. 

Do you recognise any of this?

The truth is, I had no idea what a sober life, or any other life was, but my God I do now, and I want you to know too.

You know that your drinking takes from you, and your loves.  You see, feel and hear the distress that comes from your nightly ‘pick you up’ that ‘drags you down’. 

But have you ever really stopped and thought of the true costs of your drinking?

Yes, there are the money ‘costs’, and you can probably recoup the cash. You can save a bit here, cut back a bit there, it’s not so bad (until it is).

But I’m talking about the soul wounding deeper and much bigger costs. The costs of joy, peace, happiness, love, self-respect, self-esteem and all the other ‘self’s’ that when in place, gift you the wonder of a life worth living, not the half-life of your drinking.

How many of the life’s loving moments with your children, your partner, your family and friends have you lost? The memories of joy that are at best fogged over, and at worst you deprived yourself of because of your hangover, your alcohol worry and stress, your fearful thinking and your sleepless nights?

How many days of peace has your drinking cost you?  How much laughter, love, contentment, and fun?

How much success has your drinking cost you? How many times have you not put yourself forward, fearful that you are flawed and lesser because of your drinking?

How much of the capable, less resilient, less amazing, sexy, confident and wonderful you has gone down the hatch with your wine?

These are costs that take to much from you, these are the costs the rob you of the joy of a life worth living. 

You have been gifted this one potentially glorious opportunity to be your very best self, to bask in a Universe that loves you, with people who love and respect you, with a YOU that loves and respects you, and no matter how many years you live, this one time opportunity of life, is painfully short.

You can’t get any of the lost joys back, not one minute, of one day, of one month of however many years you have struggled with your drinking, but you can make the decision to change, for life, TODAY, and gift yourself, and your loves, the life you all deserve, for the many years of life you have ahead of you.

The peace, love, joy and wonder of this life is priceless, completely priceless. 

I have women who say to me I would do/pay anything to be free from my drinking. It would mean everything to me to be free, and yet, when it comes down to it, there is something else, someone else more important in their life.

Something that some else needs, and being the giving, loving woman that you are, you decide to put yourself last again and continue doing what they have always done, trying and ‘failing’ and so stay trapped in your stop/start drinking cycles and all the associated unhappiness and despair that comes with it, instead of investing in yourself, even though you know that what is best for you, is best for everyone you love.

Your drinking costs you to much LIFE, yet it is YOUR decision to pay that cost, over and over again, and so feel the loss of you, if not everyday, certainly every day you want to change the way you drink and find that you cannot.

This is my 6th sober birthday, I don’t have big plans, I don’t need them.  I have love, and peace and harmony and gratitude, the most profound gratitude for the gift of freedom and joy of the life I now have, the freedom to be who I am without shame of fear of relapse. The freedom that gifts me the glorious inner knowing that I am good enough, always.

There is no greater gift than this.

If you are heartsick of your drinking, and know that you have to try something new, something empowering, something effortless and something that will change the way you drink for life, NOW, I have the answer.

I developed the unique 6 week, 1-2-1 RAPID ALCOHOL RECOVERY METHOD, coaching process, from my own sudden joyful sober moment, the knowledge and learning’s I have invested in over the last 6 years, as well as my training’s as a Master Practitioner of NLP and a Master Coach.

Through this incredible, life changing/drink changing process, my clients enjoy a level of success unheard of in traditional therapies.

The ONLY hard part of changing the way you drink is reaching out, from there, I will do the rest.  I will guide you back to the life you deserve and still able to enjoy a social drink effortlessly.

You just have to message me, HERE

Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Sonia

PS, I love to share my clients joy at their freedom, so here’s a recent Testimonial

“My life has changed completely. I feel rested and at peace even on the busiest of days. I have created 15 minute slots in my day for me and this one small change, as well as my 5 minute morning routine has bought me back into balance. All those years I thought I was struggling with alcohol when I was really struggling with the lack of me. Thanks darling Sonia, your vision is so different from any other approach and it just works”

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There will never be a time that is more right for change than today. You already live in fear, why not make the choice now to live in freedom? Here’s the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method link again in case you missed it earlier

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If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.

Controlling Your Drinking, Isn’t FREEDOM!

Controlling Your Drinking, Isn’t FREEDOM!

Most of the amazing women I talk to want the ‘freedom to control their drinking’, a strangely conflicting statement which I always gently challenge, because control isn’t freedom………

Of course to find yourself finally in control of your drinking is a fantastic step forward, when you have previously felt so out of control,  but the truth is, control is the equivalent of an electronic leg tag.

You have made a huge effort and you have obeyed your self-imposed rules, and learnt to live, on the whole and in comfort, within the boundaries and strategies of avoidance around alcohol you have created for yourself. 

And when the going is good, you are rocking your control. 

You see, hear and feel all the benefits of being in control. You feel proud, happy and a winner, and because of these wonderful feelings, every aspect of your life improves – your home life is more peaceful, life is more joyful, life is gooooood!

However, ‘Control’ is simply a way of keeping you on your firmly laid track, and like the electronic tagging device, there is always the added weight and the unnatural flashing light of it in your awareness, both of which take energy. 

And on any day where you feel lower in energy – maybe over tired, hungry, alone, unappreciated, unheard, unloved, in need of comfort and support, you waver, your control weakens and you drink. 

And you know the rest. You feel a failure (again) and you are marched back into your alcohol prison and drinking cycle, all control seemingly abandoned, until you try again, and harder, placing yourself in tighter restrictions, which takes even more energy to stay in control.

Freedom is completely different, it is limitless, it is living without the fear of relapse, it is peace and grace, and it is a very, very different in energy from Control.

You drink to make yourself feel better.  But Control isn’t long lasting ‘feeling better’. Control is a superficial sticking plaster – it isn’t the inside out ‘feeling better’ you need, FREEDOM is.

The freedom I am talking about, is the freedom from your ‘Alcohol is the SOLUTION’ belief.  Control leaves that belief safely in place, ready and waiting to comfort you when you are most in need, the very time when you most need control.

Freedom is being connected with yourself, in awareness of your needs and lovingly delivering them.   

Freedom is trust in you.  Control is lack of trust, hoping to learn to trust in you.

Freedom takes no energy, instead it gifts you more.

Control takes energy, and when you need it most, it control drains you most.

Do you recognise my writing? 

Can you see that Freedom from your drinking is where you want to be? 

  • The freedom to choose if and when you drink?
  • The freedom of no longer being afraid of ‘failiure’, the freedom to live the life of peace and grace you deserve?

If you are ready for that freedom, I know the way, through the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method.  This 6 week coaching process is completely unique.  I developed it through my own journey of 28 years of alcohol struggle and pain, and it is the exact process that took me back to ME, the me who never ‘needs’ to drink or eat myself silly to feel better. This is the journey to freedom I offer, no control required.

I DO feel better, and I trust myself to deliver those ‘better feelings’ every day, effortlessly.

If you are ready to change your drinking, to forget about control and find your freedom, I am here.

Reaching out is the ONLY hard part of change and it shows that you are already brave. 

Don’t waste another day, week, month or year struggling with alcohol the way you have been for the last day’s, weeks, months and years.  If you want to change your drinking, and you are ready to invest in you, the change starts TODAY, by clicking HERE to contact me.

Be kind and gentle with yourself

Sonia x

PS, I love to share my clients joy at their freedom, so here’s a recent Testimonial

“My life has changed completely. I feel rested and at peace even on the busiest of days. I have created 15 minute slots in my day for me and this one small change, as well as my 5 minute morning routine has bought me back into balance. All those years I thought I was struggling with alcohol when I was really struggling with the lack of me. Thanks darling Sonia, your vision is so different from any other approach and it just works”

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There will never be a time that is more right for change than today. You already live in fear, why not make the choice now to live in freedom? Here’s the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method link again in case you missed it earlier

——————————

If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.

Has Your Drinking Spiraled in Lockdown?

Has Your Drinking Spiraled in Lockdown?

In this time of huge uncertainty, it is hardly surprising the alcohol sales have increased, or rather soared. One report states that in March there was an increase of alcohol sales £199 MILLION and that one distributor announced recorded sales of 255,000 extra bottles in ONE DAY, and that 55% more people are drinking daily! I mean, WOW!

And even though we now have more freedom, I doubt this is party drinking.

Its not normal for us to be separated, to not physically hug or kiss our loves, and on top of that, you are stuck at home, maybe home schooling, maybe furloughed, and feeling very uncertain about a future that no-one can predict. And so you drink and your evening glass has become a bottle and a must.

You only drink to make yourself ‘feel better’, and living in this strange and shifting reality, you feel in need of more ‘comfort’, not less, but your drinking doesn’t comfort you.

However you know that your drinking doesn’t make you feel better. You feel much worse, not just physically, but emotionally too. You are more tired, have less energy, less of the peaceful loving feeling you opened the bottle to find, less of the woman you truly are and less of the mother you want to be to your children.

And how do you know that? Well, you feel it in the lack of calm within your home, and you see it in the tense faces of your loved ones – no matter how you try to hide it, they always know when you have been drinking.

And so you have realized that this must drink, must now stop. But you can’t stop. And even worse, now, on top of all the stresses of this situation, you have the added, claustrophobic winter duvet weight of your drinking laid heavily over every aspect of your life – because make no mistake, your drinking affects every area of who you are, and what you.

So, what stops you gifting yourself the freedom and peace you deserve, now, when you need it most?

Some of the amazing women I speak to, who are brave enough to reach out to me and love the sound of the Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process, want the freedom of the Testimonials page, and who know that my work resonates with them, and know that they will have the freedom to choose whether they drink or not socially, in just 6 weeks, say the ‘cost’ of signing up is too much right now.

And I get that, I truly do, I struggled for 28 years to change my drinking, and at that time, probably would have thought seriously about the ‘cost’ of £1500 being too much, too far out of reach, as well as frightened of failing again. I wasn’t able to believe I could change and I was fearful of who/how I would be/move in life without alcohol, all of which paralyzed me into inaction.

But here’s the thing, and this is said to you with absolute love from one good, kind woman to another who has been where you are, putting on a brave face, glossing over your the pain of your drinking and the fears and anxieties around alcohol, that wake you in the night, there is NO COST to the life of freedom and peace that comes from no longer feeling exhausted, a failure and controlled by bloody alcohol.

Freedom from your drinking has no price, it is priceless.

Here’s what I know to be 100 true, there are no mysteries around why you drink, and no mysteries as to how to change, so no fear of it not working for you. There is no failure. All there is, is a different approach.

This is the approach that knows that the traditional methods of ‘don’t pick up the glass’ is both the wrong place to start and the hardest way, I know that 100% to be true, and I know what does work and why.

The Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method is an investment, not a cost. It is the only investment you will make for a lifetime of understanding, compassion and peace around alcohol. This unique process is effortless.

The Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method takes you on the joyful journey back into the woman you truly are. The resourceful, resilient, peaceful, loving, maybe slightly mad (in a good way, or maybe that’s just me…..), woman you love to be and who your loves have missed, because of the way you drink.

You can choose to live in this uncertain time (for who knows how long), without investing in you. Yes, you will have the extra cash stored for a rainy day, still in your daily drinking struggle, longing for freedom and innocently unaware that your drinking causes so many of your rainy days, or you can stop, pause, take a deep breath and own the truth of what I have written, and step up, commit to YOU, and in doing so, take back the freedom and peace you have so long surrendered to alcohol.

Now is the time for change. Not next month, or next year, or when the job situation becomes clearer. By waiting for a ‘better situation’, you stay stuck in a ‘worse one’, in your painful, unhappy and physically and emotionally expensive drinking.

I know that the only hard part of changing the way you drink, is the reaching out, so if you are ready, just contact me HERE, with your name, and i will do the rest.

Be kind and gentle with yourself

Sonia

Ps. Here’s a very recent joyful Client Testimonial. I absolutely respect privacy, so never publish names.

“I am 16 weeks sober & during Lockdown! I have never achieved this before and there is no stress of struggle or anxiety. It feels unbelievable and yes, I have joy. Thank you Sonia, thank you”

This what is waiting for you! x

Finally, if you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book,This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.