2019 will be my 5th suddenly sober year! And I mean ‘suddenly sober’.
If anyone had told me, even 5 minutes before I stopped drinking that my 28 year booze battle would be peacefully over, I would have felt suicidal at sheer size of the task ahead, as well as the impossibility of success. Didn’t they know me?
And yet, I, Just. Stopped. Drinking. And I remain in a peace and ease around alcohol I didn’t even know existed.
Now to, 2018. It has been a strange, sad, wonderful, thankful year for me, of much loss and even greater love. To a large extent, the view of my world has been smashed into tiny pieces which are currently, and haphazardly, airborne.
I don’t know yet how the pieces will land, or what the new shape of my life will be, but I do know that because I am sober, it will be a beautiful new shape from which I will grow in understanding, joy, gratitude, compassion and thankfulness. Aren’t they wonderful, empowering words to apply to yourself?
Four years ago those words would have been a painful reminder of all that I was not. I was a drunk, for a very long time, and I didn’t know why. I was desperate to be where I am now, but knew, I just knew, that I didn’t have the energy or strength, to even face the battle, let alone win it. And then I didn’t need strength, and I understood why.
I drank out of confusion and fear. Fear of stopping, fear of being, and there is nothing to fear.
We all fear the dark and unknown. But I know now that even the darkest days have beauty and learnings in them. That there are always small chinks of light that I could never see before, a kind word, a smile, a new understanding. I hold those tight when I see them and those are what I naturally gravitate towards, never the wine bottle.
My life isn’t perfect. It couldn’t be and I wouldn’t want it to be.
But now, without the chaos and pain that layering alcohol into my life bought, and with my sobriety safely in place, I navigate the (much less savage) storms and bask in the (much longer) peace. This is what being sober has gifted me.
I want to offer the same gift to you. I have started a closed Facebook group, (click on the link to request admission), Dry January & Beyond! . Its sole purpose is to offer support, comfort, encouragement, love and a safe place to any who would like to start your own sober journey.
My aim is to create a community of women who would like to understand or change their relationship with alcohol. It doesn’t matter where you are now, it is just a snapshot of time, and all the power you need for a different way of living is within you. You have just lost sight of that.
I am The Recovery Coach, a Master Coach, Master Practitioner of NLP, author of This Isn’t Me, my journey into and out of 28 years of alcoholism (and with a hugely destructive relationship with food). I have been there, done that and manufactured the tee-shirt so there is absolutely nothing you can express, that I either haven’t done, seen or heard.
I will be giving regular live coaching sessions, as well as be available to answer any questions you might have. And ultimately, I want you to support each other on your journey. Listen, learn and support one another. Never be critical, or judgmental. We only every walk in our own shoes.
Join now and let’s get this started. Introduce yourselves and my first live will be on 1 January 2019. Together, we got this!
Love & respect
Sonia Grimes xx