Christmas is just around the corner, has the excitement, (ok, the pressure), started to build?
In our new normal, with its Tiers (tears) and Bubbles, with the rules of how many we can see, and where, it all creates uncertainty at an already potentially stressful time of year, and in a place of uncertainty and stress, you are much more likely to drink to excess.
And your drinking can quickly slip from the jolly, celebratory glass or two you planned to stick with, and become the wrecking ball of your longed for perfect, loving Christmas.
For those of you who know me, you know that I don’t focus on alcohol as being the problem to be resolved when you change your drinking.
Why? Because I know that you drink in a way you don’t like to comfort yourself, so changing your drinking is NEVER about counting units, mindful drinking apps, and all the rest. If they work for you great, however they focus very much on ‘controlling’ your need for comfort.
So what does work? Its simple.
It’s not about how to stop drinking after a few glasses, but to address your need for comfort so that you don’t crave a drink, and to do this, my Top Tip for a safe, peaceful, Sober Christmas (as in not drunk, but still enjoying a tipple), is Parent Yourself!
To know how to protect, nurture and comfort is one of your greatest instinctive gifts, yet my clients often say that the don’t know how to offer comfort to themselves. However they do know exactly what do when it comes to their children / partners, which is all the evidence needed that they do know what to do. How about you?
- Would you stand by and watch your child, no matter what their age, run themselves like a machine?
- Would you let them get up early and work themselves through the day shopping, cleaning, cooking, and all the rest, without imploring them to sit down, have a cup of tea and eat something?
- Would you stand by and watch their hurt faces on a bad day without asking them without absolute love, care and concern what was wrong, would they like a chat, can you offer them some support?
- Would you leave them collapsed and exhausted on the kitchen chair without the comfort of a moving them to a comfortable chair, wrapping them in a blanket, offering to run a bath, asking what they would like to watch, read, listen to.
- Would you watch them struggle without asking them what they need right now to feel better, to feel comforted?
And finally, would you sit your child down when you saw they were low, tired, fed up, upset and offer them a sneaky bottle of wine, telling them to slip into the kitchen to drink it so no-one else knows, and ignore every opportunity to comfort their true needs?
Of course you wouldn’t!!!
You would probably cry a the thought of them suffering or struggling, and yet for you, all that is fine, isn’t it………?
Parenting Yourself is the awareness and deliverance to you, by you, of what you are in need of, and it is ALL you need to do to release your ‘need’ for the comfort of a drink.
You only need to notice how you are feeling, to pause and lovingly ask yourself what you are in lacking, at any moment that your thinking turns to your ‘need’ for a drink, to comfort yourself, and then listen to your soul, to your heart.
The answer will always come, from that lonely, unloved, unheard voice within you, and when it does, you ACT on your answers. And if you can’t ACT on your answers in the moment, acknowledge them and promise to deliver later.
When you do deliver on your needs, you will feel yourself relax in the glow of love and care of you, by you, and your need for alcohol will simply disappear.
Here’ a few simple questions to ask lovingly of yourself, not just in the run up to Christmas, but everyday.
These questions will open the doors of the precious communication of you that is lacking right now.
Asking, without judgement, and listening to your heartfelt answers, will show you the gentle path to reducing your unhappy, lower feelings, your stress, and overwhelm, and in doing so, allow you to release your craving for a drink, effortlessly.
- What time do I need to go to bed to be MY BEST?
- What time do I need to get up to be MY BEST?
- What can I lovingly delegate today to be MY BEST?
- How can I make life easier today to be MY BEST?
- What can I let go of doing today to be MY BEST?
- How often do I need to rest today to be MY BEST?
- What do I need to eat today, and when, to be MY BEST?
Always, always remember that what is BEST for you, is BEST for everyone who matters to you.
A nurtured, nourished, acknowledged and delivered of your needs, you, is an expansive powerhouse of love and care for your family. A depleted, exhausted, unacknowledged of your needs you, drinks too much, regrets it, hates yourself, and so drinks more.
But I promise you, that when you take the time to know what you need, and deliver it, your drinking life transforms, literally.
You will begin to recognize, with absolute clarity when your alcohol need is at its strongest and when it is at its weakest, and you will also recognize it is ALL down to how you are feeling, and has NOTHING to do with alcohol. There is such a relief in that empowering knowledge.
Its not too late for you to enjoy your first Sober (not drunk, but enjoying a tipple) Christmas. This will be my 7th Sober Christmas and I know now what true Christmas joy is for me, and for those I love most.
If my thoughts on what your drinking really is, a way of offering yourself comfort (which is 100% the truth), then my unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method coaching process will intuitively transform your life.
Whilst there is a process to my work, it is not a one-size fits all approach. You are your own size, so of course my work adapts to YOUR life, your needs, your desires. And individual though it is, this is the process that releases all your old beliefs around alcohol, about you and alcohol, about how hard it is to change your drinking, and so much more. It is a journey back to the connection of you that is lost, bur never gone.
The hardest part of any change is to reach out, so if you would like to know more about my work, you just have to click HERE to contact me.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
PS. I love to share my clients joy at being free from their drinking pain and shame, so here’s a message I received recently. If you would like to see more, check out my TESTIMONIALS page
“I am so proud and happy in who I am, your process is amazing, I enjoy a glass of wine or two, sometimes even three and then I STOP, easily. I want to recommend you to EVERYONE. It is not a cost, it is my life”
Plus, as it is a 6 week process, you will get all the support you need at one of the most stressful times of the year, especially this year.
Finally, if you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.