Did you drink more during the first Lockdown?
And how did the increase of alcohol serve you, physically, emotionally and financially?
Did the extra wine gift you the peace, security, ultimately the comfort, you were looking for?
Or did your drinking leave you haunted with the added weight of feelings of fear and despair because of your drinking?
And did you adjust your drinking down a couple of glasses, when life started to settle?
Or did it stay at the same level of self-comfort, even after life became more ‘normal’?
And finally, now that you are back in Lockdown again, how will this new phase affect you? Will you drink more wine (again), or less?
As with Lockdown Mark I, the sudden Lockdown Mark II, has allowed feelings of uncertainty to rush back into your life. Once again, you feel, at the very least, fed up of all the upheaval /restrictions, and, at worst anxious and fearful, and without any control.
You are Lockdown weary, we feel depleted and sorrowful.
You have already missed out on so many rites of passage, from births, birthday parties, anniversaries, graduations, weddings and on to funerals – they have all been limited in number, and limited in the joy and support you get from being with all your loves in one place, at one time.
You were ‘getting on with it’. You wear the mask that makes communication difficult, you socially distance, you have learnt how to fist bump in place of the huge, all enveloping, expressing love without words, hugs that allow you to connect, literally beating heart to beating heart, forgoing the kisses you love to shower on the faces of your loves when you unexpectedly meet. You have adjusted, coped and done your best. And yet here you are again.
And whilst Lockdown Mark II is not as restrictive as the first one, with the shorter, colder days, and not really having recovered back to any ‘normal’ you thrive in, this Lockdown has the potential to feel harder.
So, how are you thinking / feeling about this Lockdown, and what are you doing with those feelings, and how will you drink to comfort those feelings?
It’s really important to acknowledge that when fear and uncertainty rise up in life, that you must also raise your boundaries of self-care to protect and sustain you through the tougher, lower, sadder times.
What was enough, in terms of self-care to keep you in balance before, isn’t now, and whatever you do that keeps you in alignment, do more of.
You are the key to your inner peace, happiness and safety, and so you must lovingly accept and own your part in keeping your mood/energy in balance and alignment.
You cannot change any aspect of this situation, however you are the only person who CAN take responsibility for your THINKING around it by gently shifting your thoughts away from the fear and anxiety that takes you towards drinking (your need for comfort), and to re-frame your own thoughts in a direction that delivers you a level of peace and calm, and brings you back into alignment, which takes you away from your ‘need for comfort’ to drink.
You only drink in a way you don’t with the intention of making yourself ‘feel better’ – to find relaxation, quiet, peace, calm, balance etc, when the result is you feel worse.
You never drink to be less of the woman you truly are.
You never pick up your first glass of wine with the intention of becoming unkind, neglectful, disengaged and yet, more often than not, that is the result of your drinking
It is ‘feeling better’ in these anxious times that you need to focus on when you want to change your drinking, not focusing on trying to control/restrict alcohol!
You feel better, you don’t drink. You feel crap, anxious, fearful, uncertain, out of alignment, you do drink. It is that simple.
Below are some simple tips to consider adding to your self-care, and sense of wellbeing, that will help gift you back the feelings of love, joy, peace, calm and feeling of alignment you truly need to release your alcohol ‘craving’.
Tips for FAMILY TIME
- Plan movie nights, uplifting, fun films that you can snuggle up and watch together. Laugh and love together.
- Switch the lights off, make it cinema like, get popcorn, put in grab bowls, drinks with straws, even if it’s the same drinks, jazz the experience up. – it always the things that make the difference, so make them
- Download quizzes – they are available for all ages on the internet, pair up, or simply 1-2-1, again, make the small differences that make the difference, set your phone timer to answer them – set a crazy sound. Switch everything off around you.
- Read to the kids, and if you are too tired, use Audible and all of you listen to a magical book together, turn down the lights and create the sense of a different time, a different place, just for an hour or so.
Tips For YOU
- Use some of the above to create time for YOU.
- Lie in the bath with candles
- Listen to beautiful music on your headphones as you do the housework, let its 4th dimensional qualities flow through you and transport you – I do this even when cleaning the toilet and it works!
- Take yourself, and a cup of tea outside, even in the rain, for 5 minutes and breathe, long, slow, deep breaths that calm your over thinking, over feeling, uncertain, stressed and anxious mind and body.
- If you can, stand on grass and feel the connection to you and Mother Earth, ground yourself.
- Notice the colours and sounds of nature around you, gently focus on them. Notice how the leaves drift down, the rain falls the last migrating birds sing, watch and listen and you will find release and relief from the situations around you as you step back into the present moment
Mindset is key, and it needs to be pared with self-loving, supportive strategies that are in alignment with your desired mindset, so Plan Ahead!
Decide how you want to feel during your days – you never choose stress, anxiety, anger or panic, you want peace, calm, safety, then bring into your awareness the the thoughts that create those feelings.
I find the most powerful way to achieve this is to remember times when I felt my desired feeling, right now I want JOY, and when the desired feelings are strong, only then sit quietly and lovingly schedule your day.
We create from the state of being we are in, so planning your schedule from a state of peace, will reflect that peace, you won’t put in place what doesn’t serve you, or overwhelms you, however if you create your schedule from a place of anxiety, you may try to pack everything in, without thought or care for YOUR needs.
And my Number One, TOP, TOP TIP always is,
“When Life Speeds Up, You SLOW Down” doing this has absolutely has changed my life!
You don’t come to turn in the road you can’t see around, you don’t put your foot on the gas, you ease it off and you navigate slowly and carefully to protect yourself and your passengers.
It’s the same in life. You never know what is around any corner of life’s journey, not even 30 minutes ahead – that’s how quick life can change, so when a bend in the road is in front of you, even at the last moment, take your foot off the pedal, slow right down, PAUSE, take a couple of deep breathes as you look around you to assess the best, easiest, clearest, safest route that protects you and your loves, and when only when you are calm and clear, move forward.
When YOU take responsibility for delivering your simple, basic needs, you will realize that YOU are the comfort you are looking for and that YOU are your most powerful support, and then, your need for alcohol simply does not exist.
Be very kind and gentle with yourself.
I coach clients to effortless freedom from their alcohol pain, by acknowledging that alcohol is not the problem that needs to be focused on when you want to change your drinking, and instead shifting awareness to the true struggle with alcohol, which is your the feeling belief you have that it offers you something, some comfort, which you know on an intellectual level is completely untrue – hence the conflict within you.
My unique 1-2-1 6 week RAPID ALCOHOL RECOVERY METHOD process is a series of simple, awareness expanding mindset shifts, backed by simple strategies, such as the above, that allow you to build trust in YOU around alcohol – alcohol is not the problem that needs to be shifted, and those together gift you the true peace and freedom you deserve from your alcohol stress and pain. Here’s what one of my clients recently had to say,
“My bottle of wine (plus) a night drinking changed from WEEK ONE and I have never looked back! You will never know what a gift your and your process has been in my life and the investment has been the best money I have ever spent for me and my family xx”
PS. If you would like to see more of my clients success stories, check out my TESTIMONIALS page x
Finally, if you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE).I wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.