20 Self-Discovery Questions to living your MidLIFE Dream

20 Self-Discovery Questions to living your MidLIFE Dream

MidLIFE is the most exciting time of LIFE.

You have experience and wisdom that makes you more valuable than the most precious of gems.

And now is time for you to use everything you have learnt, to put you first and to live your LIFE, you way, on your terms.

So what DO you want more of?

Happiness, Peace of Mind, a new Career, Travel, flourishing Relationships?

I know that to fully experience your LIFE of Happiness, Fulfilment, Peace of Mind, Purpose and JOY,  you have to know exactly what the LIFE you dream of looks like. 

Because clarity on what your MidLIFE Dreams is, is the foundation of every step you take.

When you have clarity, you can consistently make decisions that move you forward quickly.

But without clarity, you stay in the sticky heavy mud of confusion, and your decisions making process lack the conviction you need to stay on track.

The truth is, what you wanted in your younger years, is not necessarily what your heart longs for now.

The world of ‘stuff’ – the house / car / expensive clothes, don’t have the same appeal, in MidLIFE, you are searching for more meaning to your LIFE.

To re-connecting with your truest self, who can never be found in ‘stuff’.

I know that to discover your MidLIFE Dream, you must take a deep dive into your inner world – the world that is so personal just to you, and exists, not in your external LIFE situations or circumstances, but in the world behind your eyes. 

This is where all your LIFE Hopes, Filters, your Beliefs, your Strengths and Fears live.

This is where you have learnt to perceive LIFE, who you are, what you deserve and your level of Happiness, Health & HEALING.

But because you can’t ‘SEE’ your inner world, you can be very confused by yourself, your actions, your choices.

To help you start your deeply personal journey of creating your MidLIFE Dream, I have created my 20 Self-Discovery Questions to Living your MidLIFE Dream.

So, grab yourself a cup of tea, get yourself cosy, and start your Self-Discovery journey.


  1. Describe how living my Dream MidLIFE dream LIFE Look, Sound and Feel like to me?
  2. How many weeks/months/YEARS have I wanted my LIFE to change?
  3. When was the last time I did something towards living my Dream MidLIFE that made me feel a little scared or uncomfortable?
  4. When I felt a little scared or uncomfortable, what did I DO to comfort myself?
  5. Did the ACTION I took move me powerfully or hesitantly forward towards my Dream MidLIFE?
  6. In what ways have I grown as a person in the last year?
  7. What do I need to Know, Trust and BELIEVE to be true about myself, that would allow me to ACT in ways that will take me, with confidence to my Dream MidLIFE?
  8. What RESOURCES do I need, what do I need to LEARN that would take me closer to my Dream MidLIFE?
  9. What am I doing on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis to improve my MidLIFE?
  10. What does ‘failure’ mean to me?
  11. How do I REACT to perceived criticism?
  12. How does perceived criticism make me FEEL ?
  13. Does perceived criticism make me change my direction in LIFE?
  14. What needs to be in place for me to speak my TRUTH?
  15. What will happen if I DO take DAILY ACTIONS to move me forward to me Dream MidLIFE?
  16. What will happen if I DON’T take DAILY ACTIONS to move me forward to me Dream MidLIFE?
  17. Am I prepared to live less than I deserve?
  18. Am I prepared to take my unfulfilled Dream MidLIFE desires, to my grave?
  19. What SMALL step do I COMMIT to TODAY to move me forward?
  20. What will I say YES to NOW, that will make a difference TODAY?

NOTES; Re-read your answers and note down any common threads. 

What do they mean?  What do they tell you about the lens through which you see yourself and the DECISIONS you make when you think of living your Dream MidLIFE?

Share with me your thoughts


Hi, I’m Sonia

The pain of my 28 years of alcoholism, crippling depressions, grief & binge eating, and the sudden peace and freedom I found, through new awareness’s, insights, and the simple tools within me that I didn’t even know existed, has become my purpose in creating powerful LIFE transformations for you, by taking you on a journey of Self-Discovery through Compassionate Self-Inquiry.

I know that you are only stuck in any area of LIFE because of what you BELIEVE to be true of yourself, your struggle and the world around you.

I also know that your BELIEFS are a Choice, and that Freedom, Happiness, Health & THRIVING are Choices too.


I’m a happy mama, a spiritual searcher, dog lover, bad singer, avid reader and professionally, I wear two hats!

  1. Coaching MidLIFE Women to THRIVING, in the next chapters of LIFE, through my Happiness Code process, &
  • Coaching women to Take Back Control of their drinking, through my Rapid Alcohol Recovery Process.

I coach my clients using a unique blend of Neuro Science, Practical Strategies & Spiritual Practices, and if you would like to know more about how I can help you, contact me HERE

Sonia x

Alcohol is not the problem…..this is

Alcohol is not the problem…..this is

Do you feel out of control around alcohol?

Trapped in your daily drinking cycle?

Making decisions each morning, that today will be different, only to find yourself hiding the empty bottle (again) at the end of the night?

What is going on?  What is wrong with you?  Why are you so weak in your LIFE, and why is alcohol so strong?……

I know exactly what is going through your head daily, as you struggle to understand you, alcohol, and your despair at not being able to regain control of your drinking.

I lived like that for 28 years, and it was hard, exhausting, and I felt a total failure, I couldn’t change my drinking, I couldn’t stick with any plan….I lost.  Alcohol won. Every day (or almost every day).

And then alcohol didn’t win….I did…

So, what changed? 

Well alcohol didn’t change. 

Alcohol couldn’t change. 

Alcohol couldn’t win. Alcohol couldn’t lose. 

Alcohol didn’t give a damn about me or whether I drank it or not….so….that left me who changed.

And here’s how I changed

I stopped focusing on alcohol. I finally gave up looking over and over again, trying to find different answers, using the same old information, which had never worked, and I started focusing on the thoughts and feelings that I had before I drank…..why they were there, how they were created, what they actually meant, and I found all the answers fall into place, one after another, naturally, easily, like a jigsaw puzzle of a picture I had never seen before, and my drinking changed……

Here’s what I learnt to be true for me, and true for all my clients too.

Your drinking trap has nothing to do with alcohol, it is the BELIEFS you hold around what alcohol delivers to you (in intention), and the LIMITING BELIEFS of how hard change will be, how you will ‘cope’, relax, BE without alcohol – which is the daftest, because changing your drinking doesn’t have to be a ‘never again’ solution…..

So, what are LIMITING BELIEFS in the context of alcohol?

Limiting Beliefs around alcohol are the deeply ingrained, perceptions and attitudes that you hold about alcohol and its role in your life.

It is your alcohol Beliefs that decide your drinking habits, not alcohol. 

It is your alcohol Limiting Beliefs that create the fears about how hard changing your drinking will be, not alcohol.

You cannot see any Limiting Belief, but you can always feel it. 

When you think about stopping drinking, or even changing the way you drink, you bump up against the Belief, and you feel anxious, deprived, fearful and the more you try to fight yourself (not alcohol), to not drink, the greater the fear, anxiety becomes, until you give in and drink…..

This is the cause of your drinking trap, your alcohol Beliefs.

And when you accept that truth, you start to gently focus on shifting the belief, instead of wasting your time, energy and headspace focusing on alcohol.

The wonderful news is, it is easy to change any Belief, once you are aware of it….and to remind you, it shows up in the way you feel, the anxiety, sense of deprivation, loss you feel when you contemplate changing your drinking….it then morphs into the battle in your own mind that is the tug of war between, “Don’t drink”, vs, “It will be different this time”.

It is the Limiting Belief that craves comfort, for you it might be alcohol, for another it might be food, shopping, gambling.

It is the Limiting Belief you try to find willpower to fight, not alcohol.

Once you start to your journey of true understanding of your problem drinking, which is NOT alcohol, and release the Limiting Beliefs you hold around alcohol, you release stress, anxiety, confusion and a path appears in front of you.

You can easily regain control of your drinking, you can easily find peace of mind, happiness, and freedom, and all you need is a clear process and strategies, backed up with compassionate and empowering support.

And remember, the process should not focus on limiting, avoiding alcohol, and must focus on releasing the truth of your drinking problem….your alcohol Limiting Beliefs.

I have a unique process to changing problem drinking, which works on the absolute knowledge and experience that alcohol is what you ‘do’ that has hurt your life, but not what needs to be changed.  

I have supported 1000’s of clients find their peace and freedom around their drinking, allowing them to become Simply Social Drinkers.

Is it your time to walk a new path, with a new perspective and empowering new way of changing your drinking for LIFE?

Here’s just one Client’s Testimonial

“For over 10 years I’ve struggled and tried various recovery methods including 3 stays in rehab. I’ve finally got the effortless freedom from alcohol that Sonia promises in just 6 weeks. I can’t remember feeling this happy. I’m me. Thank you Sonia … I’m truly grateful”. Ms GK

This could by you, starting from your very first session….are you committed and ready?

Then let’s talk, contact me HERE

Emotional Vulnerability: Your Pathway to Healing and Growth

Emotional Vulnerability: Your Pathway to Healing and Growth

I used to think being Emotionally Vulnerable, left me open to attack, to ridicule, to feeling less than I already did. I hid my thoughts and feelings, even from myself, and I paid a high price in my emotional health, my happiness, my relationships, my LIFE.

Now I know how important it is to be Emotionally Vulnerable, and I here I share with you, what I have learnt on my own journey, as well as the journey’s of LIFE Recovery Coaching clients, the profound significance of embracing emotional vulnerability as a pathway to healing, fostering deeper connections with others and, most importantly, with yourself.

Gift yourself 5 minutes to read in this peace, let my words settle and lean into the insights and truth.

In a world that emphasizes strength and resilience, the true power of emotional vulnerability sometimes gets overlooked.

However, this beautiful act of authenticity holds the key to genuine healing and profound personal growth.

The Power of Emotional Vulnerability: Embrace Your Authentic Self

Emotional vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; it is an expression of authenticity.

By allowing yourself to share your innermost thoughts, feelings, and fears, you embark on a transformative path of healing.

Embracing your vulnerabilities means embracing your true self, and this truth is a gift you can offer yourself and the world.

Authentic Emotional Healing: Unburden Your Soul

Through emotional vulnerability, you create a sacred space for authentic emotional healing. By facing your suppressed emotions and past traumas, you unburden your soul and release the weight that has held you back.

This liberating journey empowers you to break free from old patterns and embrace a life of purpose and joy.

Deepening Connections with Others: Forge Bonds of Trust

When you bravely share your vulnerabilities with trusted individuals, you forge bonds of trust and understanding.

As you open your heart, you invite others to do the same, fostering profound connections. Vulnerability becomes the bridge that leads us to truly know and be known, enriching your relationships beyond measure.

Connecting with Ourselves: Embrace Your Wholeness

At the core of emotional vulnerability lies your relationship with yourself.

By accepting your vulnerabilities, you embrace your humanity and connect with your inner self.

Self-compassion replaces self-judgment, and you learn to love every facet of your being.

In this embrace, you find the strength to heal and grow.

Navigating Growth and Resilience: Transform into Your True Self

Embracing emotional vulnerability challenges you to step outside of your comfort zone and confront your fears.

This transformative process ignites resilience and fosters personal growth.

As we transform into your true self, you become the author of your LIFE’s stories, weaving a tapestry of authenticity and strength.

Conclusion: Embrace the Heart-Centered Journey

Emotional vulnerability is a journey that calls for authenticity, compassion, and wholeheartedness.

As you embark on this heart-centered path, you uncover the profound healing power within yourself.

So my strongest advice to you is, celebrate your vulnerabilities and embrace your true self,  because it is in those moments that you connect with the very essence of your being.

As you honour your vulnerabilities, you create a life filled with authenticity, love, and resilience.

Let your heart lead the way, and you will fall in love with the beautiful soul you truly are, that emerges from within.

If you would like tips and advice to support you on your HEALING journey, taking you back to your de-fault settings of Happiness, Peace and JOY,  then I invite you to join my private community The Happiness Code …you deserve more, I will show you how to find it….💕

Where does HAPPINESS come from?

Where does HAPPINESS come from?

Do you want to feel HAPPIER?

To enjoy a happier LIFE, happier relationships, lean into a happier past, project a happier future and be consistently happier in the present moment, even at the saddest of times?

Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

Happiness is the antidote to stress, anxiety and fear.

Happiness simply washes them all away.

In Happiness you eat moderately, drink in control, live with greater Peace of Mind.

Sounds great, but where does your HAPPINESS come from?

Happiness isn’t a random state of mind and heart. Happiness doesn’t come out of nowhere, Happiness isn’t available to others but not for you.

Happiness isn’t dependant on your LIFE circumstances, your painful past or projected future.

Your HAPPINESS, Peace of Mind, Joy, Freedom & LOVE all come from one place…..

Your HAPPINESS literally is the result of the LIFE Choices, that only YOU can make – the choices of the thoughts you think, the feelings you create, the actions you take, and your perception of LIFE and the situations that are out of your control – and even though you think you know this, keep reading, I’m going to tell you exactly how to choose Happiness

The foundation of your Happiness comes from simplest of your Choices such as;

  • Choosing to eat breakfast in the morning, so you are not running on physical empty (knowing that later in the day, physical empty affects your emotional emptiness too).
  • Choosing to get some time outside each day, rain or shine, to count your breaths as you breathe deeply, to look to the sky, and let your stressed thoughts drift away.
  • Choosing to spend 10 minutes reading something that lifts you up, that brings you back to the present moment ( I have some lovely recommendations)
  • Choosing who you spend time with, what you spend time on.
  • Choosing to reframe your painful past, to view yourself and others with compassion and forgiveness, that heals YOU – a huge Happiness Choice.
  • Choosing to pause and respond mindfully to LIFE instead of impulsively reacting emotionally to LIFE.
  • Choosing to respect yourself for the Human Being you are, not the Human Doing machine you are not.
  • Choosing to create your day of inner peace that is ALL you need to let go of your drinking / eating torture.
  • Choosing you, above all else, whilst not ignoring all else. 

So, yes that’s it your LIFE Happiness is your CHOICE.

But far too often, in your lower moments, when you haven’t made the best choices for you through the day, or the weeks gone by, it feels as though you have no choice.

It feels as though you run on autopilot from one stress and anxiety to another.

It feels as though your painful past cannot be healed – the memories are too strong, and you can think, “How can I make different choices?

To make different choices, you must understand and accept how your choices are made. 

And here is the answer, and the TRUTH.

All your LIFE Choices made from a series of Choice Patterns your run in different contexts – home, work, relationships, money and many more.

Daily Choice Patterns that bring you Happiness, Peace of Mind, Freedom, Joy, and LOVE, or

Choice Patterns that leave you stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, fearful or trapped in destructive behaviours – food, alcohol come up the most, however shopping, people pleasing, nail biting, smoking and so many more are real struggles for far too many.

Your LIFE Happiness results really are all Choices, YOU make, and there are no small choices. 

Each and every Choice you make, has an effect, maybe not immediately, but in the near or far future, each choice does. 

So, to change your LIFE results, to choose Happiness, you need new Choice Patterns only YOU can make.

Think of one area of your LIFE where you feel trapped or confused why you run on repeat, when you want change so badly, and ask yourself, “What is MY Choice making Pattern there?”

Because, you do have one. It will be a pattern that you run, that you may not even be aware of, but the truth is;

  • The Pattern IS there,
  • The Pattern was created by YOU, and
  • The Pattern IS running the show of your LIFE

And the good news is, any Choice Pattern can be changed. There is a simple process and it always works.

Regardless of how long you have run it, you can interrupt any Choice Pattern, and create a NEW ones, that takes you to the happier version of you, you deserve.

With my clients I use simple Choice Pattern Interrupts, that allow them to step out of the old pattern that doesn’t serve them, even if they are already in it, and to step into the new Choice Patterns we create in our sessions.

One client had a Choice Pattern that kept her stuck in People Pleasing.

Someone would ask her to do something, she went straight into her Pattern of needing to be liked, lacking the confidence to say what she thought, to express her lack of time, needs and said “Yes”

Together we identified how she wanted to respond, and why, and created a Pattern she ran quickly in her mind, that made her feel confident in her response, and allowed her to say, “That doesn’t work for me right now” (no sorry going on), and deliver her “No” with kindness and ease.

Those simple “No’s”, freed her from stress, anxiety and overwhelm, and gave her the space and Happiness she wanted so badly in LIFE.

What Choice Pattern are you trapped in, that takes you further from the Happiness, Peace of Mind, Freedom, Joy and LOVE you dream of?

For every LIFE problem, there IS  a Happiness solution, even if you cannot change the situation, there is a powerful shift in perception you need that brings you peace.

And right now, your Happiness solution is simply outside of the Choice Pattern you are stuck in.

COMMITTED to living your HAPPIEST LIFE, let’s talk. Contact me (HERE)

FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker Experience

FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker Experience

FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker Experience

How do you drink?

😢 Daily and out of control, feeling stressed, anxious and fearful around alcohol and the amount of headspace your drinking takes up? Or

😘 Do you easily enjoy a social drink, without losing control, relaxed, happy, sipping slowly, enjoying the time and taste, and then putting the bottle back in the fridge, for days or weeks, before taking it out again?

There is a huge difference between out of control drinking and social drinking, and most of my clients want to be free to enjoy a social drink, and why shouldn’t they, why shouldn’t you!

Because to end out of control drinking, does not mean you cannot drink socially.

To sip a glass of wine at dinner, to raise a glass of champagne at a celebration, to toast a happy occasion, or to have the occasional beer on holiday, is perfectly possible, once the stranglehold of your out of control drinking is understood, the fear has gone, there is no more ‘crazy’ mind chatter of

“For Gods’s sake don’t, you are destroying everything”, vs, “You deserve it, it will be different this time” (which it never  is…..)

💯 Going from being a daily out of control drinker, to a simply socially drinker is a process, a simple process of new awareness’s, practical strategies and spiritual practices, that you reflect on and repeat to rebuild your trust and confidence in yourself, because when you do, you lose the fear that keeps you trapped in the first place.

💯 Going from being a daily out of control drinker, to a simply social drinker, has very little to do with alcohol, and everything to do with alcohol, and very much to do with how you have learnt to feel about what drinking brings you, and how hard change will be.

Your drinking is a whole BELIEF system, powering away behind your eyes, which is fabulous news, as you can change your BELIEF system, and  you can go from daily pain, to easy peace and still enjoy a social drink

Curious?  Join my FREE 5 Day Simply Social Drinker experience, and learn LIVE from a me, a formerly drunk mother, now a simply social drinker, the easy way, to finding peace and freedom around alcohol.

COMMITTED?  We start on Monday, 29th MAY, in a private space, for a 5 day transformative experience, that will

  • Open your mind to a new way of thinking around alcohol
  • Ease your heart as you feel the truth settling with hope.
  • Calm your mind, releasing you from your endless mind chatter, and
  • Offer you freedom to choose when and how you drink, without fear of Cravings, trying to find Willpower or fear of Losing Control…

Contact me now HERE to join! spaces are limited.

10 Questions to Free You from Your Alcohol Pain, Effortlessly

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