Dry January is the perfect time to reset your drinking and re-asses your relationship with alcohol.

The energy around Dry January is powerful and positive, the emotional support is huge and everywhere, and as you go through the days, these are the energies that keep you safe, confident and on track.  All of which is fantastic.

But I want you to be aware of one crucial aspect of regaining control of your drinking that makes ALL the difference between ongoing success or ‘failiure’.

And that is that you must be clear on the difference between Physical Sobriety (not drinking), and Emotional Sobriety.

Because if you want to regain effortless total control of your drinking,  it is understanding how to reclaim, and stay safe, in your Emotional Sobriety that guarantees your success.

Here’s why….

 Physical Sobriety is the tip of  your drinking ice-berg, it the act of drinking….it’s what you do and the consequences you see and feel, of your drinking.

The hangovers, poorer behaviours, irritability, poor sleep, weight gain, and the losses of trust and love of yourself, from your family, and maybe even your job…..

You know it’s all down to drinking alcohol, but the truth is, alcohol is NOT the driver of your drinking.

Your Emotions are….

How you are Feeling, (your Unmet Needs), and your Alcohol Beliefs (that it offers ‘comfort’, that change will be hard),  all show up as Emotions – and it is your Emotions that are the drivers (and prison) of your drinking,

When you accept that truth, it becomes obvious that to truly regain control of your drinking, you have to address your Emotions – only then does the Physical act of your drinking change easily.

After 28 years of stress and struggle around my drinking – of trying and failing to change, I am now able to enjoy a social drink with ease, because I am 100% Emotionally Sober.


I do not look to alcohol to make me feel  better, more relaxed, give me peace, pick me up or anything else.  I have no Emotional attachment to alcohol at all….and without any Emotional attachment, alcohol has become  just a drink, like tea, or soda.

 There is never a ‘pull’ towards alcohol, no stress, or struggle.  No mind battle, or cravings and definitely no need for willpower….I can take it or leave it, with grace and ease.

To make it clearer, I want you to imagine a tree – Physical Sobriety forms the branches, but it is always Emotional Sobriety that is the sturdy trunk that supports them.

I know that the easy way to create lasting change to your drinking, that frees you from stress and anxiety, you must take a deeper dive into learning, understanding and accepting that developing the simple skills of Emotional Regulation, which address both your Unmet Needs, and challenges your Alcohol Beliefs.

 Emotional Regulation is the key to Emotional Sobriety, and to creating the long lasting change to your relationship with alcohol you desire.

Reclaiming control of your drinking, is not just about saying ‘No’ to a drink.

It’s about saying ‘Yes’ to a LIFE where emotional balance anchors the journey towards authentic and sustainable well-being.

To support you, I’m sharing my;

5 Top Tips to Emotional Sobriety

Read each one, at least ONCE, internalise the message and take the easy actions.

Pause and Breathe

Begin with a simple pause. In the demands of LIFE, take a deep breath.

Allow yourself the space to acknowledge your emotions without judgment.

Breathing mindfully becomes your anchor, giving you the space to recognise your emotions and react differently by creating clarity of your needs in any moment.

Name Your Needs

Dive into self-awareness by identifying your Unmet Needs.

What are you truly looking for?  Connection, Validation, Support, Nourishment, Rest?

Naming your needs is the first step in meeting them.

Listen to the truths that come from you heart, and gradually, align your actions to satisfy those needs authentically.

Question your Alcohol Beliefs

Challenge the beliefs you hold about alcohol through non-judgemental, curious questionning.

  •  Are you using it as a crutch, a reward, or a social lubricant?
  •  What will actually happen in any given situation if you don’t drink?
  • Will you cope?  Yes, Will the world end?  No.
  •  What do you learn more about what is /isn’t acceptable to you, and create boundaries around them?  The answer is an easy, YES, if you really are committed to this journey.
  • Question the Social Beliefs around alcohol?
  • Do they work for you, or do they keep you trapped?

 Connect your Heart and Mind

Nurture a strong spiritual connection between your heart and mind.  Do the things, the activities, and rituals that  feed your soul – whether it’s through meditation, nature walks, or creative expression.

I know how important this connection is, in transforming your drinking.  It creates balance, wellbeing, peace within which is the bedrock of both Emotional Regulation and Emotional Sobriety.

 Let Supportive People Support You!

Surround yourself with a tribe that understands and supports your journey. Share your aspirations, challenges, and victories with those who uplift you emotionally.

Find a network of like-minded individuals provides a safe space for growth and reinforces the importance of Emotional Sobriety.

And if you don’t know your tribe, I have one waiting just for you, that I invite you to join;

MidLIFE Women Ready to Take Back Control of Alcohol

This is a FREE private space where you will learn the deeper truths about your drinking and how to regain control of it from its roots in Emotional Sobriety, to the success of Physical Sobriety.


10 Questions to Free You from Your Alcohol Pain, Effortlessly

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