LIFE can feel very lonely at times can’t it? Even when you are surrounded by your loved ones.
It is so easy to become trapped in your own head, struggling to find answers by yourself, as to;
Why you Drink in a way you hate,
Why you Eat in a way you hate,
Why you constantly People Please,
Why you don’t stick up for yourself
Why you accept the unacceptable
And all the time, you know, from the bottom of your heart, that the way you live ‘isn’t right’, that there must be a way out, a better way, a happier way of living, but you don’t know how to get there.
Maybe you know logically what you need to do, but you still can’t do it, and the confusion of knowing but not doing, makes you feel even weaker, more of a failure, and more fearful of even trying again.
The ‘problem’ is that you don’t act on what you logically know, you don’t act on what your head tells you, because when it comes down to making profound changes in your LIFE away from hurt and into HEALED, your head does not lead the way.
You head has learnt from what it sees and hears from your experience, and from what it sees and hears from others experience of change, and then you internalize what you have learnt and it becomes a BELIEF.
Some Beliefs support you, other become the painful the blocks to the LIFE of freedom and peace you long for and deserve. That is my TRUTH, that is your TRUTH.
You have learnt to BELIEVE that change will be hard, that you don’t deserve better (the BELIEF there is that you are not Good Enough), and so you stay trapped in your cycles of despair.
But your painful BELIEF’S are not true, and once you have the skills to recognise when a painful BELIEF is stopping you from making the changes you long for and deserve, you can, if you take loving self-responsibility, release them for LIFE.
The first step is to know how to recognize a painful BELIEF
And with everything about you, when you know how, its very simple.
Think of what you want to change, the way you Drink, Eat, Shop, or the things you want to have, Money, Healthy Relationships, and notice what and where in your body, any feelings that come up.
And even thought I don’t know you, I can tell you know exactly what and where the feelings show up, in your stomach.
You feel fearful, tense, anxious…..that is you bumping up against your BELIEF.
Please read that again. Those fearful, tense, anxious feelings have nothing to do with alcohol and not drinking, or food and not eating, or not being good enough to end something that doesn’t serve you, or try something new, those feelings are you trying to cross the BELIEF you hold around what you do/don’t do.
That’s it, that’s all.
And the process of change? That’s simple too.
By recognizing and accepting the above as your TRUTH, change comes not from trying to bash your gentle heart into submission, or by criticizing yourself, or by beating yourself up with harsh words and unkind tones that hurt you more, but instead, by simply noticing when you the tension in your stomach shows up, taking a step back in the form of a pause, from the thoughts that always, always precede the tense feelings, by taking a couple of deep long breathes, that will calm your heart and mind, and then by taking loving self-responsibility to start different conversations with yourself.
- Conversation of self-curiosity, not self-criticism. “What am I thinking / feeling differently before I feel out of control?”
- Conversations with different questions to the usual, “What’s wrong with you?”
- Conversations that allow you to gain clarity on YOU, again, what you are thinking and feeling on the days when LIFE feels easier, when you are happier, when you act in a way that support you, instead of focusing your questions on what you do /don’t do.
By have different, self-loving, self-curious conversations with yourself, you will uncover the BELIEF’s that hold you back, and then you can gently – always gently – challenge, rather than accept the truth of these beliefs.
You can start to question the evidence of these BELIEFS, and also ask yourself, what else might be true instead of the belief that blocks you.
Curious conversations allow for new awareness’s, a different perspective, empowering insights, that with simple new strategies, allow change to become effortless. I promise you.
This is how I recovered from being defeated by LIFE, from feeling out of control, lost, unlovable, not good enough and so many other painful feelings, to being the happiest, most fulfilled and bravest I have ever been.
My LIFE Recovery Coaching journey started helping women find freedom and peace from the pain out of their seemingly out-of-control drinking, using my own journey from 28 years of feeling nothing but hopeless despair, to the peace, joy, happiness and HEALING in LIFE, myself and my son enjoy.
And from there, over the course of many, many hours of coaching, research and training’s that I constantly invest in….(my thirst for understanding and using what I learn will never end).
And so my practice organically expanded in to coaching clients who have a wide range of problems, where they feel trapped, alone and fearful, to easy freedom, using the exact same method.
No matter where you are now, or how long you have felt the pain of being out of control of what you do, the way you Drink, or Eat etc,
Or what you don’t do, the actions that if you were ‘brave’ enough to do, would give you the things you long for in life, the happier relationships, the freedom from your painful past,
Whatever your trap is, you CAN change, it is not hard, and every step of the way takes you closer to the Happy, Healthy, HEALED you, who loves LIFE and moves through it with grace and ease.
If this message resonates with you, I can help you.
My LIFE Recovery Coaching is a unique blend of neuro-science, practical strategies and spiritual practices which reconnect you with the wonder of who you truly are, that end your mind battle, your inner tension, and that finally set you gently and firmly your own path from Hurt to Healed and from Pain to Peace.
Depending on where you feel trapped, you might only need 2 or 3 sessions to get your results, so if you are ready for change, please contact me (HERE), and let’s talk.
I am here, I deeply care and I CAN help you find long lasting, deep, true, heartfelt Happiness.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
Sonia x
