Nov 18, 2024
How does your drinking make you feel?
Safe, relaxed, enjoyable and in control? – if it’s a ‘YES’ fantastic! There is no daily drinking battle, no fears, doubts or mounting stress and anxiety as the day wears on. You can choose to sip slowly a glass of wine, or to leave an open bottle in the fridge for another day.
Or do you feel stressed, anxious, guilty and ashamed? – alcohol has become a daily battle, the guilty secret (that’s not as secret as you would like), leaving you feeling tired, depressed, lost and confused the next day..
I used to live in fear of myself and my drinking.
Every day started with the dull thud of failure, followed by the decision that today would be different, today I wouldn’t drink….which became I wouldn’t drink as much, which became a drunk me again.
My battle was hard and long for over 29 years, I was white knuckling my days, and there was very little peace of mind or real joy.
And then, suddenly, ‘magically’ my battle was over.
Alcohol ‘lost’ its hold, I regained my power.
And I didn’t get stronger, I got wiser – I understood the truth of my drinking, I learnt to recognise the thoughts and feelings I had believed to be true about alcohol and how hard change was, and I learnt the easiest way to change myself and my drinking.
I easily started to walk my Pure Path to alcohol freedom and easy control.
I call it the ‘Pure Path’, because with every step I took, on a Path I couldn’t see in front of me, I learnt a powerful new perspective which resonated deeply with me, and the next step appeared.
I knew what to do to ease, comfort and release my old thoughts and feelings around alcohol, and instead embrace different thoughts and feelings which allowed me to break free from my drinking pain, and gifted me my ultimate aim in life, PEACE.
I know that your life does not have to be this way,
💫 You can change your drinking, and it doesn’t have to be a ‘never again’ solution.
💫 You can enjoy a social drink without it controlling you.
💫 You can wake up feeling proud, clear-headed, and full of self-respect and energy.
💫 And you can do it without guilt, struggle, or sacrifice.
To get you started on your Pure Path to alcohol freedom, below are the 5 Simple Shifts I use to change my clients relationship with alcohol, and step into a life that feels lighter, freer, and completely yours.
These five easy changes are the first steps toward breaking free—on your terms.
5 Simple Shifts to Regain Control Over Alcohol (Without Giving It Up Completely)
Shift 1: Reframe Your Relationship with Alcohol
Open up your awareness to how your life is when your need for alcohol feels strongest? What are you thinking and feeling? Are you trapped in past memories or projecting in to the future? Are you actually hungry, thirst, tired or needing some space?
Explore why cravings aren’t about alcohol itself but the comfort you crave, and how to fulfill those deeper needs.
Shift 2: “Mindful THINKING “
You’ve probably heard of Mindful Drinking….I get my clients to focus on Mindful Thinking…this is really drilling down on the awareness of why they are choosing to drink, what are the thoughts that they want to be free from, and the simple way of replacing that thinking with thoughts that show them how easy it is to regain control, and make them feel proud of themselves rather than desperate and afraid. Without the painful thinking, you can easily choose when and how much you drink.
Shift 3: Rediscover Your Inner Compass
There are many simple tools to help you reconnect with your true needs and desires, reconnecting with your true desires, passions, and goals to replace the “void” alcohol always fills.
Ask yourself these two questions;
What moments in life have made you feel truly happy and fulfilled?
- Think of experiences, not material things. Describe the feelings, people, or actions involved.
(Example: Spending time laughing with friends, helping someone in need, achieving a goal.)
What are you seeking that alcohol might temporarily provide?
- Examples could include relaxation, confidence, connection, or relief from stress, find your answer and then deliver on your true need.
Shift 4: Identify and Interrupt Your Triggers
Learn to recognise what your specific triggers are, people, places, memories.
When you have identified your triggers, pause, breathe deeply, feel your automatic alcohol response slow down and let calm flow back into you.
Acknowledge your effort to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically. Remind yourself:
“Every time I pause and choose, I’m building my strength and freedom.”
Shift 5: Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
The journey of changing your drinking habit, is not hard, it is NEW.
And as it is a NEW way of thinking, feeling and drinking, you must celebrate every win. There are no small wins on this journey, and each one needs to be fully acknowledged and felt as you re-build yourself as the amazing woman you truly are, safe and in control of your drinking.
Remember, consistent small wins, add up to BIG transformations.
If you would like to discover more about your painful drinking, and how to find peace and freedom, I offer a 20 minute FREE discovery call, click here to book.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
Aug 21, 2024
If you’ve ever tried to break free from your daily drinking habit, and regain control of your drinking, so that a glass really is just a glass, not a bottle, you know how hard it can be.
Because you have tried, you have done your best.
You want to feel happier, healthier and calmer. You want to be more present, productive, creative and fulfilled. You want to feel slim, attractive and love your life.
And you know changing your drinking would be the biggest first step you can take to being the woman you long to be.
So, you have tried avoiding your triggers, the people, places and situations where its all gone horribly wrong before.
You’ve set strict limits of just one or two drinks, or distracting yourself when your Wine Witch itch hits.
But instead of the success and freedom you dream of, these strategies left you feeling stuck, frustrated, and like you’re fighting a losing battle, again.
I struggled with my drinking for 29 years, and I never felt that any control I had would last – and I was right.
Now I know why, I know how to show you the ONLY easy way to change your drinking for LIFE, and I have created a process that you can easily follow, that will transform your drinking with grace and ease.
The truth is, there is a Path to follow, a path you cannot see in front of your eyes, but you feel the strength and certainty of the road to happiness, health, freedom, peace of mind and control when you are walking it. I call this beautiful journey, the Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom.
The unique key to my process—and what makes it so fast and life changing — is the understanding that your drinking habit cannot be changed with external strategies alone, logic and never, ever with Willpower.
Why? Because your drinking habit is emotionally driven, (not logically), and that’s why it feels so hard to control.
Your struggle isn’t an external battle; it’s an inner battle, deeply rooted in your emotions and beliefs that need a different approach.
Why Breaking your Daily Drinking Habits Feels So Hard
At the heart of your struggle to change your drinking, are deep-seated beliefs about alcohol.
You have learnt to believe that alcohol is essential for managing stress, relaxing, fitting in socially, the base line is relieving any unpleasant emotions
These beliefs are powerful and operate beneath the surface, driving your reactions and actions without you even realizing it.
When you try to force yourself to drink less, it can feel like you’re swimming against a strong current—and it is exhausting!
Traditional techniques like avoiding triggers or limiting yourself often fail because they focus on external control.
They leave untouched the emotional drivers behind your drinking.
This constant resistance only adds to your stress and frustration, making it feel nearly impossible to break free.
The Foundation For Breaking Your Daily Drinking Habit Is Emotional Awareness
The first step in breaking your daily drinking habit, and making a real change is becoming aware that your changing your drinking is an emotional fight.
Recognizing that your drinking is tied to deeper feelings and beliefs is crucial.
This ONE awareness is the foundation for regaining control.
Once you see that breaking your daily drinking habit isn’t about being stronger, fighting harder, using Willpower, but something emotionally driven, you can approach it differently—with more compassion and understanding for yourself.
This shift in awareness will make changing your drinking feel easier, more natural – this is the foundation of how I changed my drinking suddenly without stress, anxiety or fear, and how 1000’s of my clients have changed their drinking too!
A New Way: The Pure Path To Alcohol Freedom Process
My Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom process is a gentle, intuitive, deeper level approach that focuses on understanding and re-balancing your inner emotional landscape.
Instead of battling against your desires to end your emotional discomfort through alcohol, the Pure Path process helps you shift your emotional state so that regaining control becomes easy, without the fear of losing it again.
How Inner Techniques Can Help You
My Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom process uses simple inner techniques to help you build the senses of peace, calm, and ease within yourself that you lack during your struggle not to drink, and the way you feel about yourself the next day.
My techniques shift you quickly out of your overthinking and stress that often lead to drinking, allowing you to recognise and resolve the emotional roots of your drinking.
Here’s TWO of the simple techniques that allow my clients to find peace and freedom from their drinking stress, instantly, and back into power and control.
Breathwork
One of the most effective ways to calm your mind, step out of your fight, and to find emotional balance quickly is through breathwork.
By focusing on your breath, you empty your mind, and bring yourself back to the present moment. This simple practice helps you step away from the mental and emotional triggers that drive your drinking.
Gratitude
Gratitude is a super power of an emotional tool.
When you focus on what you’re grateful for, you shift your mindset from what’s missing to what’s abundant in your life. This emotional brings you ‘up’ to the place you need to be, to stop you turning to wine to cope with stress or fill an emotional void.
Simply by integrating Breathwork and Gratitude into your daily routine, you stay safe in deeper sense of inner peace.
Why is that important? Because peace is the antidote to the emotional unease that often drives your drinking.
When you’re at peace with yourself it affects every area of your life where you felt emotional unease before and, the desire to drink naturally diminishes, making it easier to stay in control.
And think on this, peace cannot be achieved through force. Peace is not found in logic and Willpower….in fact trying to find Willpower destroys your peace.
You’ve Got This.
I know how hard it can feel to even attempt to try to change your drinking, especially if you’ve tried before.
But I know that when you approach breaking your daily drinking habit from an emotional perspective—when you understand and resolve your emotional inner struggle—you’ll find that regaining control is not only possible but easier than you could ever have imagined..
You don’t have to do this alone, and you don’t have to keep battling yourself.
My Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom process is designed to support you in a way that feels gentle, nurturing, and aligned with your true self. You will find yourself on a journey that feels natural and empowering, so you can live a life that’s free, fulfilling, and fully in your control.
If this resonates with you, let’s TALK. You always have the power to break your daily drinking habit, and I’m here to help you every step of the way.
Sonia Grimes, The Alcohol Control Coach
Jul 12, 2023
Do you feel out of control around alcohol?
Trapped in your daily drinking cycle?
Making decisions each morning, that today will be different, only to find yourself hiding the empty bottle (again) at the end of the night?
What is going on? What is wrong with you? Why are you so weak in your LIFE, and why is alcohol so strong?……
I know exactly what is going through your head daily, as you struggle to understand you, alcohol, and your despair at not being able to regain control of your drinking.
I lived like that for 28 years, and it was hard, exhausting, and I felt a total failure, I couldn’t change my drinking, I couldn’t stick with any plan….I lost. Alcohol won. Every day (or almost every day).
And then alcohol didn’t win….I did…
So, what changed?
Well alcohol didn’t change.
Alcohol couldn’t change.
Alcohol couldn’t win. Alcohol couldn’t lose.
Alcohol didn’t give a damn about me or whether I drank it or not….so….that left me who changed.
And here’s how I changed
I stopped focusing on alcohol. I finally gave up looking over and over again, trying to find different answers, using the same old information, which had never worked, and I started focusing on the thoughts and feelings that I had before I drank…..why they were there, how they were created, what they actually meant, and I found all the answers fall into place, one after another, naturally, easily, like a jigsaw puzzle of a picture I had never seen before, and my drinking changed……
Here’s what I learnt to be true for me, and true for all my clients too.
Your drinking trap has nothing to do with alcohol, it is the BELIEFS you hold around what alcohol delivers to you (in intention), and the LIMITING BELIEFS of how hard change will be, how you will ‘cope’, relax, BE without alcohol – which is the daftest, because changing your drinking doesn’t have to be a ‘never again’ solution…..
So, what are LIMITING BELIEFS in the context of alcohol?
Limiting Beliefs around alcohol are the deeply ingrained, perceptions and attitudes that you hold about alcohol and its role in your life.
It is your alcohol Beliefs that decide your drinking habits, not alcohol.
It is your alcohol Limiting Beliefs that create the fears about how hard changing your drinking will be, not alcohol.
You cannot see any Limiting Belief, but you can always feel it.
When you think about stopping drinking, or even changing the way you drink, you bump up against the Belief, and you feel anxious, deprived, fearful and the more you try to fight yourself (not alcohol), to not drink, the greater the fear, anxiety becomes, until you give in and drink…..
This is the cause of your drinking trap, your alcohol Beliefs.
And when you accept that truth, you start to gently focus on shifting the belief, instead of wasting your time, energy and headspace focusing on alcohol.
The wonderful news is, it is easy to change any Belief, once you are aware of it….and to remind you, it shows up in the way you feel, the anxiety, sense of deprivation, loss you feel when you contemplate changing your drinking….it then morphs into the battle in your own mind that is the tug of war between, “Don’t drink”, vs, “It will be different this time”.
It is the Limiting Belief that craves comfort, for you it might be alcohol, for another it might be food, shopping, gambling.
It is the Limiting Belief you try to find willpower to fight, not alcohol.
Once you start to your journey of true understanding of your problem drinking, which is NOT alcohol, and release the Limiting Beliefs you hold around alcohol, you release stress, anxiety, confusion and a path appears in front of you.
You can easily regain control of your drinking, you can easily find peace of mind, happiness, and freedom, and all you need is a clear process and strategies, backed up with compassionate and empowering support.
And remember, the process should not focus on limiting, avoiding alcohol, and must focus on releasing the truth of your drinking problem….your alcohol Limiting Beliefs.
I have a unique process to changing problem drinking, which works on the absolute knowledge and experience that alcohol is what you ‘do’ that has hurt your life, but not what needs to be changed.
I have supported 1000’s of clients find their peace and freedom around their drinking, allowing them to become Simply Social Drinkers.
Is it your time to walk a new path, with a new perspective and empowering new way of changing your drinking for LIFE?
Here’s just one Client’s Testimonial
“For over 10 years I’ve struggled and tried various recovery methods including 3 stays in rehab. I’ve finally got the effortless freedom from alcohol that Sonia promises in just 6 weeks. I can’t remember feeling this happy. I’m me. Thank you Sonia … I’m truly grateful”. Ms GK
This could by you, starting from your very first session….are you committed and ready?
Then let’s talk, contact me HERE
Feb 16, 2022
- How are you thinking about your drinking?
- How are you feeling about your drinking?
- How are you DRINKING?
- Is your mind free of the tension and stress of your daily thoughts around whether to drink or not tonight?
- Of trying to rationalise last nights drinking?
- Of not sure what else you can do tonight to relax without a glass or two?
And how do you feel in this place of inner struggle, a struggle that no-one else can see, but which makes you feel like crying in your confusion and helplessness?
The more you struggle to control what you do, drink, the stronger the urge for a drink is….do you recognise that?
But it is not alcohol that causes that struggle.
Your drinking is what you do when you ‘give in’, your drinking is what you do to end the struggle, but it is NOT the cause of it….it is not alcohol that takes you to the wine aisle, when you promised yourself wouldn’t go there again.
It is NOT alcohol that you lose control over, it is the FEAR that overwhelms, that you lose control over and the FEAR that you drink to COMFORT (and if alcohol is not your ‘poison’ of non-comfort, you will recognise this in the way you eat, overspend, hoard, gamble….the painful actions you take)
So, in the context of your drinking, what is the FEAR really?
FEAR is the sign that you have the belief that alcohol brings you something (it all falls under the umbrella term of ‘comfort’), and that you will be denying yourself ‘comfort’ when you need it most.
You don’t feel ‘deprived’ or ‘missing out’ of doing anything that you believe makes you feel better, comforts you.
It is FEAR, that is the foundation of your struggle to change your drinking. Nothing more, nothing less, and then you add to it the other fearful beliefs you hold around alcohol such as;
- The FEAR around the fact that you just don’t understand why you drink
- The FEAR of how hard change will be, and for how long it takes for the change to settle
- The FEAR of how you will cope, how you will fit in, how you will relax, how you will feel confident in situations, deal with certain people
- The FEAR of the memories of your past failures which makes the thought of trying again so much harder
- And a myriad of other FEARS that you might not be able to even identify.
Your drinking trap is FEAR, not alcohol
I can even tell you where your fear shows up in your body. Sit for a moment and ask yourself,
“How do I feel about not drinking?” and notice the location and sensation in your body.
It is always a FEAR based feeling, (you might label it unease, anxiety, loss) and it always shows up first in your gut, which is your centre of self-esteem, your centre of self.
It is the same for everyone.
Yes, it might then grow into the heavy sadness in your heart, the black cloud of confusion in your head, but it always, always starts in your gut when you think about trying to change your drinking
Your FEAR is the blackout blind that blocks you, that cuts you off from freedom, that closes down opportunities to see, think, feel and drink differently.
Let go of the FEAR, and change, any change is easy. NEW yes, hard NO. JOYFUL yes, stressful NO.
To make the changes you long for, and deserve, you MUST stop looking at the answers in alcohol.
You MUST stop using avoidance tactics, counting units, setting limits on ALCOHOL.
Why? Because all these do is keep the FEAR under control, until something changes in your life, and you have no awareness of what is going on inside, with no strategies to re-balance, and so your old drinking thinking comes up, you don’t understand why, and you start to feel the FEAR of your successes slipping away and you return to your old drinking to comfort yourself.
Please, please read that again and let it settle. It is the TRUTH.
If the methods of change you have tried before haven’t worked consistently, give up those methods.
Finally accept what you know to be true, because you have the evidence, that they don’t work!
Open your mind away from them and ask yourself,
” If this hasn’t worked for me before, why do I keep trying it?”
The answer is, you don’t believe there is another way….DROP that now.
Until you do, you will keep pushing your exhausted spirit in a direction it doesn’t want to go, and as you know, just doesn’t work…..
Here are some more truths, which is you accept them, will change your life, effortlessly, without FEAR
- Change is NOT hard
- Change is NOT stressful
- Change does not come with FEAR
- Change comes through learning something NEW
- Change comes from having strategies, practical and spiritual that you can lean into easily
- Change brings EXCITEMENT for a new future
- Changes delivers PEACE, FREEDOM and LIFE as it is meant to be lived.
My drinking didn’t change because I suddenly became stronger, it changed when I became WISER, when I looked in a different direction which allowed me to feel differently, to shift my FEAR and then to use simple strategies which have taken me back to me, to my center, to my heart to my trust, and it will be exactly the same for you.
My message is simple, accept that it is FEAR that keeps you trapped and in need of comfort, so it is FEAR that needs to be understood and let go of, not alcohol.
Walk into your FEARS….you won’t find a terrifying alcohol monster ready to drown you, to watch you sink into oblivion. In fact you won’t find anything to wound or harm you, in you.
You will only find more of YOU, the loving, kind you who is frightened and desperately needing to be understood, to have your basic simple needs met, to be comforted, to be accepted, to be LOVED and cared for by YOU….and I promise you darling, when you do that, when you look within for the answers, they are always there and they are always easy to deliver.
I hope this helps you start to understand that alcohol is not what traps you, and starts you to have the compassionate, non-judgmental conversations with yourself that will ease your fears, because then, with some practical steps and spiritual practices you will find peace and freedom around alcohol, and in life, easily.
If you are ready to step out your FEARS, to simply LET THEM GO, if you have had enough of being exhausted over your struggle, if you have had enough of feeling overwhelmed by your drinking, ashamed of who you are when you drink, let’s talk.
Most of my clients drinking change from DAY ONE in WEEK ONE, and all who follow my unique 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method process, change by WEEK TWO, because from the very first session, they understand and release the FEAR
The hardest part, the bravest part of change, is to step out of what you think you ‘know’ about your drinking, to accept that there is another way and that you just don’t know how to access that other way, and to say, ‘Help me’….
When you do that, you commit to becoming you again, the woman who drinks socially, who doesn’t hide her drinking, who doesn’t lie about her drinking, who is present and connected to life who has taken a journey of Relief, Release, Peace and JOY
Be kind and gentle with yourself
Sonia x
PS. If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE), reviewed by Ranvir Singh of Good Morning Britain as “Beautiful & devastating”,
Jan 4, 2022
Hello lovely….How are you?
Are you feeling full of excitement for your future, for the new, in-control-of-your-drinking, you?
Your new, no fear of relapse, you?
Your new no more struggling with Cravings or Willpower you?
How are you FEELING about not only smashing Dry January, but changing your drinking for the rest of the year, for LIFE?
If you are doing Dry January, well done you! You are probably already feeling prouder and better, physically and emotionally – its amazing how quickly you perk up isn’t it?
Maybe you are already feeling more energized, sleeping better, less bloated, skin looking better- and right now, in the early days, you may well be feeling very hopeful that this time you have got it…..but as the month wears on, the memories of other Dry January’s resurface, when you also felt hopeful and then inexplicably slid back in your old drinking patterns as the year wore on…..
You know at the very core of you that you want to make changes, and not just for January.
You know that you want to drink less consistently, to not feel out of control, and yet to still enjoy a social drink. You know you want to feel better, look better, ACT better…you know deep within you that your drinking isn’t who you are, you just don’t quite understand how to stay in the sober space when it is your heart’s desire……your heart’s desire to be the mother/partner/hell, even the dog owner, you and your loves deserve, and yet there is also a creeping feeling of ‘loss’ at the thought of changing the very thing you do, drink, that you know takes you further from YOU.
What on earth is going on?
The truth is, once Dry Jan is done and dusted, a yearly box so proudly ticked off, you don’t just start drinking again…..the actual drinking process starts when your THINKING have start to slip back on their well worn track of you having to control or deny yourself a drink….these thoughts take a great deal of fearful energy, which creates the feelings of anxiety and deprivation around what you perceive you will miss from alcohol.
Does that make sense?
However, if you weren’t buying into your alcohol THINKING you wouldn’t be creating any anxious FEELINGS.
Everything you do is through a process of Think, Feel, Re-Act – re-acting being the drowning the woman you love in alcohol.
Your drinking always, always, ALWAYS starts not with the first glass, but with the THINKING that creates the FEELINGS that result in the first glass to COMFORT those FEELINGS…and on to the second, and on to the daily bottle. This is the simple, always and forever TRUTH.
To give you an insight into how easy it is to let go of both the THOUGHTS and FEELINGS, that take you to drink, the feelings you misidentify as alcohol ‘cravings’, in one effortless step, here’s one of my easiest, and instant relief from alcohol cravings, LIFE Recovery Coach Tips
Notice the FEELINGS that come up, starting in your gut (they always start there), of fear, anxiety, around alcohol. This is the ONLY indication you need that your THINKING has slipped.
Next shift your awareness on to your THINKING – again, your thoughts are the creator of those feelings, NOT ALCOHOL
Notice WHO YOU ARE when these lower THOUGHTS come up – maybe you are tired, low, lonely, anxious about work/relationships, only you know.
And then use this oh, so, simple technique to let both the THOUGHTS and FEELINGS go, without even attempting to address/understand/rationalise anything to do with ALCOHOL.
- Create a PAUSE by,
- Changing your BREATHING
- INHALE through your nose for 5
- EXHALE through your mouth for 7
- Increase to an INHALE for 7
- EXHALE for 11
Do this for just 2 minutes and your alcohol cravings will simply disappear. I promise you, and if you have to do it 5 times in one hour, DO IT!
You are going to breath anyway, so CHOOSE the way you breathe…..It is as simple as that.
My clients enjoy huge success, through my uniquely simple and empowering 6 week Rapid Alcohol Recovery Method coaching process. Most clients who follow the process, make the biggest change from WEEK ONE.
A number of my clients have spent at least one term in Rehab and struggled in the ‘real’ world.
Other clients have come feeling that they felt they were close to losing everything and some who just didn’t want to drink / eat, on a daily basis, in a way they don’t like.
All of them, when they trust the process (me) and work the simple tools (you), have found the balance they desired and deserve. It will be the same for you too.
It doesn’t matter where you are now, or how long you have been struggling with your drinking, the peaceful way to LETTING GO is within you all the time x
If 2023 is YOUR time to put YOU first, to stop doing what you have always done (and getting the same sadder result), and to end your painful drinking struggle for LIFE, Contact me today.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
Sonia x
PS. If you would like to understand more about my journey from 28 years of alcoholism, to peaceful freedom, take a look at my internationally acclaimed book, This Isn’t Me (click on the link HERE), reviewed by Ranvir Singh of Good Morning Britain as “Beautiful & devastating”, wrote it for my son, as an apology for his younger years, and as an attempt to explain the un-explainable.
