Jan 20, 2025
You have come to the point where you know you have to change your drinking – not just for Dry January, but for LIFE.
You can no longer ignore your inner worries about your health, your relationships and your ability to be the best version of yourself – present, connected, at peace with yourself and your past, and free from all your old feelings of anger, guilt and shame.
You long to stand in your true being – happy, fulfilled and authentic.
And you know that changing your drinking is key to living the life you desire and deserve.
So, you manage to stop, you manage a couple of days, a couple of months and you feel AMAZING, proud, happy and you think….’I’ve got this’
And then it all starts to slide away, your thoughts and feelings start to turn to alcohol, you start to turn towards alcohol, the fight begins, your power diminishes and you are back to where you were before, daily drinking, daily guilt, shame and totally confused…..do you recognise your drinking pattern here?
What happened? You were doing so well…what’s wrong with you?
I know there is nothing wrong with you.
And there is definitely no mystery around why you are falling back into the same old ways of non-coping with alcohol….
Here’s the truth and the answer you need to hear.
Stopping drinking is just the beginning of your journey. It’s a wonderful, empowering first step, but stopping is not enough for you to stay sober for life.
Because a sober life isn’t just about not being drunk.
There is a broader spectrum to drinking, that takes it from problem, to social……
It’s about not needing a drink. It’s the difference of being in control or out of control.
Living sober is about being in total control of your choices. It’s about drinking differently, enjoying a couple of glasses with dinner or friends on a special social occasion, and then switching to something non-alcoholic with grace and ease.
Staying sober is about recognising the difference between an easy social drink, and the out-of-control desires alcohol you feel at other times, when not have a drink just isn’t going to happen.
To live a happy, healthy sober life, you must first accept your drinking habit for what it is, something you have done habitually at certain times (after work is a great example), and the battle in your mind over I must / I mustn’t drink, that is the driver of your habit.
And then its about the wonderful, life changing process of re-connecting with yourself, your deeper unmet needs and the thoughts, feelings and understanding the beliefs you hold (just for now), that alcohol will ease the void created by your learnt self-neglect.
I know from my own experience of regaining total control of my drinking, after 29 years of no control, that the more you take responsibility for discovering your deeper unmet needs;
Maybe your needs for comfort, relaxation, peace.
Or your physically neglected needs for healthy food, good hydration,
Or your emotional needs such as connection, forgiveness, acceptance, joy, and love,
And then the responsibility for meeting those needs, the easier staying on your sober pathway is.
When you know what your true needs are and act on them consistently, you will quickly feel your mind and body fall into its natural, born to experience, rhythm of your life.
In that rhythm, you will automatically start to fill your inner void with what you truly need, and when you do that, alcohol becomes a lovely social glass of something special, and not the panacea that ultimately makes your life so much worse, and you think, feel and drink completely differently.
Your sober life is for you to define. No-one lives your life, no-one ever truly knows your needs. Its up to YOU.
And the truth is, you always have the power to change your drinking, to release old habits, and to take full responsibility for your well-being, and when you do, your drinking and life will change magically.
If you are ready to change your drinking and embark on the most joyful and rewarding journey of your life, let’s talk, you can book your COMPLIMENTARY Take Back Control of Your Drinking Call, HERE.
I’ve done the walk, I know the path to alcohol freedom, and I know how to guide you back to a life of control, fulfilment and JOY.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
Jan 3, 2025
Are you ready to find true freedom from your exhausting daily cycle of drinking, guilt, and regret?
You long for peace of mind, to feel calm and confident in your choices, and to rediscover your authentic self. And you deserve to live that way.
But if you’ve been trying to change by focusing on alcohol—tracking drinks, setting rules, or wrestling with guilt—you’ve likely found that the success is only temporary (like Dry January) before slipping back into your old drinking habits, leaving you feeling worse because of your ‘failure’ to stick with it.
The truth is, when you try to change any problem by focusing solely on the problem—in this case, your drinking—it takes up more headspace, creating stress, anxiety, and confusion. And these are just some of the negative feelings that actually fuel your desire for a drink, rather than releasing it.
The harder you fight your thoughts and feelings around alcohol, the stronger the pull becomes.
The Truth About Alcohol and Your Struggle
In my personal experience of 29 years of no control over my drinking—feeling frightened, confused, and facing the effects every morning after—I’ve learned something profound: alcohol is not the problem that needs attention.
The real issue is the invisible Unconscious Beliefs that drive you back to drinking, over and over again.
It’s Not About What You Know; It’s About What You Believe
You probably already know that alcohol isn’t truly helping you relax, solve problems, or feel better. But knowing isn’t enough.
Your life actions, including your drinking, are guided by what you feel unconsciously, not what you know consciously.
If you believe that alcohol is your reward, your escape, or your way to cope, that belief will quietly but super-powerfully shape your choices. And you can’t see these beliefs—they operate beneath the surface, creating patterns of behavior that feel impossible to break.
But when you bring them into the light, the whole dynamic starts to shift.
Awareness Is the Key to Freedom
When you begin to see these Unconscious Beliefs clearly, something shifts. These are often described as ‘light bulb moments’, where you start noticing the patterns they create, even while you’re in them.
But now, instead of feeling overwhelmed or stuck, you feel empowered. You know what to do. You make the best choices for you, and it becomes as natural as breathing.
This is where real change happens—not by fighting against yourself, but by recognizing your Unconscious Beliefs and the patterns they run. It’s that simple.
When there’s no confusion and you can recognize your patterns as they arise, you’re free to make different choices.
You step out of the autopilot cycle with grace and ease. The stress, fear, and internal conflict fade away because you’re no longer fighting an unknown force.
The Answer Is Within You
Once you accept the truth that it’s not alcohol keeping you trapped, it’s the unknown parts of yourself—you are already on the path to freedom and powerful, easy change.
Now you are learning about the beliefs you haven’t yet uncovered that are the real barriers to change. And when you make the unknown known—when you see those beliefs for what they are—you can finally release them.
Imagine a Life Where You’re In Control
Imagine feeling calm and in control, choosing not to drink without stress or second-guessing yourself.
Imagine living with clarity, peace, and the confidence that you’re free to make decisions that truly serve you.
The journey isn’t just about regaining control of your drinking—it’s about creating a life that feels fulfilling, joyful, and authentic.
Alcohol loses its grip when you reconnect with who you are and understand the beliefs shaping your choices. It is as simple as that.
You don’t need to fight harder.
You need to see clearly. That’s where freedom begins. And once you find it, everything else falls into place.
Start Noticing the Patterns
Recognizing the patterns behind your drinking isn’t complicated. It begins with paying attention to your thoughts and feelings in the moments when you feel the urge to drink. These are the breadcrumbs that lead you to the Unconscious Beliefs driving your actions.
Here’s how you can start noticing your patterns:
🌟 Pause and Tune In
The next time you find yourself reaching for a drink, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?
What am I hoping this drink will give me? You might notice feelings like stress, loneliness, boredom, or even frustration.
Perhaps you’re telling yourself, “I deserve this,” “This will help me relax,” or “I can’t deal with this right now without a drink.” These thoughts are clues to the deeper beliefs guiding your choices.
🌟 Look for Repetition
Notice when similar thoughts and feelings arise.Do you always crave a drink after a tough day at work? When you feel ignored or unappreciated? When you’re alone on a Friday night? These are patterns—not just in your actions but in the emotions and beliefs tied to those moments.
🌟 Question the Stories
Once you spot a pattern, gently question it. For example: Do I really need this drink to feel better?
Is this true, or is it just a habit I’ve fallen into?Even this small step of curiosity can start to loosen the grip of those Unconscious Beliefs.
Why You Need Support to Go Deeper
While these steps are a hugely valuable starting point, uncovering and shifting deeply ingrained Unconscious Beliefs requires a deeper process.
This is where I come in.
As The Alcohol Control Coach, I guide midlife women, like you, to uncover the Unconscious Patterns that have kept you trapped in a cycle of drinking, guilt, shame, and regret.
I teach you how to shine a light on the beliefs driving your actions and give you all the strategies that take you out of your drinking stress in the moment and help you reconnect with your authentic self—the calm, confident, and joyful person you know you’re meant to be.
Imagine Freedom from your Daily Drinking Habit
Imagine waking up each day with peace of mind, no longer battling the stress, guilt, and frustration of drinking.
Imagine the freedom to live a life where alcohol no longer controls you.
This isn’t about temporary fixes. This is about real, lasting change. And it’s possible for you.
Are you ready to make this change?
If you’re ready to change your drinking for life, reach out to me HERE today.
Let’s work together to break free from your daily drinking trap and begin your path to true happiness and healing.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
PS: Here’s what one client had to say about her transformation. Will you be next?
“I’ve been drinking a bottle of wine a night for years. I get home and the first thing I do is pour a glass of wine. None of my family believe my excuses anymore, and all of them hated my drinking.
Within two weeks of working with Sonia, my drinking had changed dramatically, and so have I. I feel peaceful, relaxed, and there’s no alcohol noise at all. I am loving the journey and the ease and calm at home. Sonia’s process works, and it has changed my life.”
Dec 23, 2024
It’s getting closer🎄🎄 …..the ‘magical’ time of year, that is hard work, joyful, sad, expensive, exhausting – a mass of conflicting emotions, all wrapped into one package called, Christmas…..
The message of Christmas is one of joy, connection, and a wonderful celebration of love and life.
Christmas is supposed to be a season of joy, love, and connection. But for you, especially if you’re struggling with your drinking, it might feel like a time of tension, guilt, and overwhelm.
The invitations to parties, the endless glasses of prosecco, the stress of family dynamics, maybe struggling with loneliness or grief, there is a huge spectrum of emotions that are amplified at Christmas, all of which can you leave you wondering: “
“How the hell am I going to get through all this without feeling stressed, anxious and out of control?“
Well, I’m telling you now that you DON’T have to dread this Christmas.
You CAN be completely in control of your drinking choices
You CAN enjoy a social drink and wake up the next morning, peaceful, happy, proud and loving life, and
You CAN make the best choices for you, and your family with grace and ease.
And the secret to a your happy, fulfilling Christmas starts with understanding the power of your choices and the BELIEFS that drive them!
Why Your Beliefs Shape Your Christmas Choices
When it comes to drinking, Christmas can amplify the tension between what you know and what you feel.
- You know another drink might leave you hungover tomorrow.
- You know you’ll feel guilty if you drink too much in front of the kids.
- You know alcohol won’t magically make family conflicts disappear.
But despite knowing all of this, there’s still that pull—the thought that “just one more” will make you feel better in the moment. That pull doesn’t come from alcohol itself; it comes from your beliefs about what alcohol can do for you.
For years, you may have believed that drinking is the answer to stress, that it helps you fit in, or that it makes Christmas more fun. And while those beliefs might have started as little stories you told yourself, they’ve become powerful drivers of your choices.
When Fear Takes Away Your Choices
You might recognize that you have a choice—to drink or not—but if you don’t believe change is possible, fear creeps in.
You fear that saying no will make you stand out.
You fear that it’ll feel hard, lonely, or boring.
You fear failing, again, if you try to cut back.
That fear can feel so big that it makes choice seem impossible. It’s easier to give in, to take the drink, and to deal with the regret later.
But here’s the truth: your fear is rooted in a belief—not in reality. And beliefs can change.
These beliefs live in your Unconscious Mind, which is your superpower designed to protect you and meet your needs.
The tension you feel—the struggle between wanting to stop drinking and giving in—comes from the conflict between your Conscious and Unconscious Minds.
You Unconscious mind doesn’t know what alcohol is; it has no language, no memory of the last time you felt out of control, and it can’t imagine the hangover, guilt, or shame you’ll feel tomorrow.
It acts only in the moment, seeking to comfort your uncomfortable emotions.
Meanwhile, your Conscious mind knows exactly what alcohol is and what it does to you.
It tries to pull you away from drinking because it knows the harm it causes.
This is not a fight with alcohol—it’s a fight within yourself. But once you understand this, you can finally break free and you do regain total power of your choices.
Shifting Into the Truth of Choice
When you start to believe that you do have a choice, everything changes.
Here’s how you can shift from fear and doubt to confidence and empowerment this Christmas:
1. Pause and Get Curious
When you feel the pull to drink, pause. Ask yourself: What do I really need right now?
Is it connection? Peace? Relief from stress? it could even be as simple as a cup of tea and some food…..
What it you will definitely discover it that it is not alcohol you want, but the feeling you believe it will give you.
2. Challenge the Belief
The belief that alcohol will make Christmas better is just that—a belief. Ask yourself: Is that really true?
Think back to past Christmases. Did drinking really deliver what you hoped for, or did it leave you feeling worse in the long run?
3. Play It Forward
Your Unconscious Mind acts in the moment—it doesn’t remember the hangovers or the guilt from last year. But your conscious mind does. Before you take that first drink, play the scenario forward in your mind. Imagine how you’ll feel the next day.
4. Create New Choices
Once you recognize the belief driving your desire to drink, you can choose something different. Maybe you’ll take a walk when you feel stressed, or grab a sparkling water instead of wine. Each small choice builds confidence and rewires your beliefs.
5. Embrace Boundaries
Protecting your energy is key. That might mean saying no to a party that feels too triggering or setting limits on how much time you spend with difficult family members. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re essential for your well-being.
A Christmas of Possibilities
This Christmas, you have the power to break free from old beliefs and make choices that align with the happiest, healthiest version of you.
It’s not about being perfect or never drinking again—it’s about understanding why you feel pulled toward alcohol and creating new ways to meet your needs.
When you believe in your ability to choose, the fear fades. You’ll feel stronger, more in control, and more able to show up as the best version of yourself for the people you love.
Your Next Step
If you’re ready to make this Christmas a turning point, I’d love to share my framework for fast and easy change. It’s all about recognizing your Unconscious Beliefs and the patterns you run before you drink, so you can say no with confidence and ease.
This Christmas doesn’t have to be a struggle. It can be a season of hope, joy, and transformation—and it starts with one simple choice. Let’s make it together.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control & MidLIFE Woman Coach
Nov 18, 2024
How does your drinking make you feel?
Safe, relaxed, enjoyable and in control? – if it’s a ‘YES’ fantastic! There is no daily drinking battle, no fears, doubts or mounting stress and anxiety as the day wears on. You can choose to sip slowly a glass of wine, or to leave an open bottle in the fridge for another day.
Or do you feel stressed, anxious, guilty and ashamed? – alcohol has become a daily battle, the guilty secret (that’s not as secret as you would like), leaving you feeling tired, depressed, lost and confused the next day..
I used to live in fear of myself and my drinking.
Every day started with the dull thud of failure, followed by the decision that today would be different, today I wouldn’t drink….which became I wouldn’t drink as much, which became a drunk me again.
My battle was hard and long for over 29 years, I was white knuckling my days, and there was very little peace of mind or real joy.
And then, suddenly, ‘magically’ my battle was over.
Alcohol ‘lost’ its hold, I regained my power.
And I didn’t get stronger, I got wiser – I understood the truth of my drinking, I learnt to recognise the thoughts and feelings I had believed to be true about alcohol and how hard change was, and I learnt the easiest way to change myself and my drinking.
I easily started to walk my Pure Path to alcohol freedom and easy control.
I call it the ‘Pure Path’, because with every step I took, on a Path I couldn’t see in front of me, I learnt a powerful new perspective which resonated deeply with me, and the next step appeared.
I knew what to do to ease, comfort and release my old thoughts and feelings around alcohol, and instead embrace different thoughts and feelings which allowed me to break free from my drinking pain, and gifted me my ultimate aim in life, PEACE.
I know that your life does not have to be this way,
💫 You can change your drinking, and it doesn’t have to be a ‘never again’ solution.
💫 You can enjoy a social drink without it controlling you.
💫 You can wake up feeling proud, clear-headed, and full of self-respect and energy.
💫 And you can do it without guilt, struggle, or sacrifice.
To get you started on your Pure Path to alcohol freedom, below are the 5 Simple Shifts I use to change my clients relationship with alcohol, and step into a life that feels lighter, freer, and completely yours.
These five easy changes are the first steps toward breaking free—on your terms.
5 Simple Shifts to Regain Control Over Alcohol (Without Giving It Up Completely)
Shift 1: Reframe Your Relationship with Alcohol
Open up your awareness to how your life is when your need for alcohol feels strongest? What are you thinking and feeling? Are you trapped in past memories or projecting in to the future? Are you actually hungry, thirst, tired or needing some space?
Explore why cravings aren’t about alcohol itself but the comfort you crave, and how to fulfill those deeper needs.
Shift 2: “Mindful THINKING “
You’ve probably heard of Mindful Drinking….I get my clients to focus on Mindful Thinking…this is really drilling down on the awareness of why they are choosing to drink, what are the thoughts that they want to be free from, and the simple way of replacing that thinking with thoughts that show them how easy it is to regain control, and make them feel proud of themselves rather than desperate and afraid. Without the painful thinking, you can easily choose when and how much you drink.
Shift 3: Rediscover Your Inner Compass
There are many simple tools to help you reconnect with your true needs and desires, reconnecting with your true desires, passions, and goals to replace the “void” alcohol always fills.
Ask yourself these two questions;
What moments in life have made you feel truly happy and fulfilled?
- Think of experiences, not material things. Describe the feelings, people, or actions involved.
(Example: Spending time laughing with friends, helping someone in need, achieving a goal.)
What are you seeking that alcohol might temporarily provide?
- Examples could include relaxation, confidence, connection, or relief from stress, find your answer and then deliver on your true need.
Shift 4: Identify and Interrupt Your Triggers
Learn to recognise what your specific triggers are, people, places, memories.
When you have identified your triggers, pause, breathe deeply, feel your automatic alcohol response slow down and let calm flow back into you.
Acknowledge your effort to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically. Remind yourself:
“Every time I pause and choose, I’m building my strength and freedom.”
Shift 5: Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
The journey of changing your drinking habit, is not hard, it is NEW.
And as it is a NEW way of thinking, feeling and drinking, you must celebrate every win. There are no small wins on this journey, and each one needs to be fully acknowledged and felt as you re-build yourself as the amazing woman you truly are, safe and in control of your drinking.
Remember, consistent small wins, add up to BIG transformations.
If you would like to discover more about your painful drinking, and how to find peace and freedom, I offer a 20 minute FREE discovery call, click here to book.
Sonia Grimes
The Alcohol Control Coach
Aug 21, 2024
If you’ve ever tried to break free from your daily drinking habit, and regain control of your drinking, so that a glass really is just a glass, not a bottle, you know how hard it can be.
Because you have tried, you have done your best.
You want to feel happier, healthier and calmer. You want to be more present, productive, creative and fulfilled. You want to feel slim, attractive and love your life.
And you know changing your drinking would be the biggest first step you can take to being the woman you long to be.
So, you have tried avoiding your triggers, the people, places and situations where its all gone horribly wrong before.
You’ve set strict limits of just one or two drinks, or distracting yourself when your Wine Witch itch hits.
But instead of the success and freedom you dream of, these strategies left you feeling stuck, frustrated, and like you’re fighting a losing battle, again.
I struggled with my drinking for 29 years, and I never felt that any control I had would last – and I was right.
Now I know why, I know how to show you the ONLY easy way to change your drinking for LIFE, and I have created a process that you can easily follow, that will transform your drinking with grace and ease.
The truth is, there is a Path to follow, a path you cannot see in front of your eyes, but you feel the strength and certainty of the road to happiness, health, freedom, peace of mind and control when you are walking it. I call this beautiful journey, the Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom.
The unique key to my process—and what makes it so fast and life changing — is the understanding that your drinking habit cannot be changed with external strategies alone, logic and never, ever with Willpower.
Why? Because your drinking habit is emotionally driven, (not logically), and that’s why it feels so hard to control.
Your struggle isn’t an external battle; it’s an inner battle, deeply rooted in your emotions and beliefs that need a different approach.
Why Breaking your Daily Drinking Habits Feels So Hard
At the heart of your struggle to change your drinking, are deep-seated beliefs about alcohol.
You have learnt to believe that alcohol is essential for managing stress, relaxing, fitting in socially, the base line is relieving any unpleasant emotions
These beliefs are powerful and operate beneath the surface, driving your reactions and actions without you even realizing it.
When you try to force yourself to drink less, it can feel like you’re swimming against a strong current—and it is exhausting!
Traditional techniques like avoiding triggers or limiting yourself often fail because they focus on external control.
They leave untouched the emotional drivers behind your drinking.
This constant resistance only adds to your stress and frustration, making it feel nearly impossible to break free.
The Foundation For Breaking Your Daily Drinking Habit Is Emotional Awareness
The first step in breaking your daily drinking habit, and making a real change is becoming aware that your changing your drinking is an emotional fight.
Recognizing that your drinking is tied to deeper feelings and beliefs is crucial.
This ONE awareness is the foundation for regaining control.
Once you see that breaking your daily drinking habit isn’t about being stronger, fighting harder, using Willpower, but something emotionally driven, you can approach it differently—with more compassion and understanding for yourself.
This shift in awareness will make changing your drinking feel easier, more natural – this is the foundation of how I changed my drinking suddenly without stress, anxiety or fear, and how 1000’s of my clients have changed their drinking too!
A New Way: The Pure Path To Alcohol Freedom Process
My Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom process is a gentle, intuitive, deeper level approach that focuses on understanding and re-balancing your inner emotional landscape.
Instead of battling against your desires to end your emotional discomfort through alcohol, the Pure Path process helps you shift your emotional state so that regaining control becomes easy, without the fear of losing it again.
How Inner Techniques Can Help You
My Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom process uses simple inner techniques to help you build the senses of peace, calm, and ease within yourself that you lack during your struggle not to drink, and the way you feel about yourself the next day.
My techniques shift you quickly out of your overthinking and stress that often lead to drinking, allowing you to recognise and resolve the emotional roots of your drinking.
Here’s TWO of the simple techniques that allow my clients to find peace and freedom from their drinking stress, instantly, and back into power and control.
Breathwork
One of the most effective ways to calm your mind, step out of your fight, and to find emotional balance quickly is through breathwork.
By focusing on your breath, you empty your mind, and bring yourself back to the present moment. This simple practice helps you step away from the mental and emotional triggers that drive your drinking.
Gratitude
Gratitude is a super power of an emotional tool.
When you focus on what you’re grateful for, you shift your mindset from what’s missing to what’s abundant in your life. This emotional brings you ‘up’ to the place you need to be, to stop you turning to wine to cope with stress or fill an emotional void.
Simply by integrating Breathwork and Gratitude into your daily routine, you stay safe in deeper sense of inner peace.
Why is that important? Because peace is the antidote to the emotional unease that often drives your drinking.
When you’re at peace with yourself it affects every area of your life where you felt emotional unease before and, the desire to drink naturally diminishes, making it easier to stay in control.
And think on this, peace cannot be achieved through force. Peace is not found in logic and Willpower….in fact trying to find Willpower destroys your peace.
You’ve Got This.
I know how hard it can feel to even attempt to try to change your drinking, especially if you’ve tried before.
But I know that when you approach breaking your daily drinking habit from an emotional perspective—when you understand and resolve your emotional inner struggle—you’ll find that regaining control is not only possible but easier than you could ever have imagined..
You don’t have to do this alone, and you don’t have to keep battling yourself.
My Pure Path to Alcohol Freedom process is designed to support you in a way that feels gentle, nurturing, and aligned with your true self. You will find yourself on a journey that feels natural and empowering, so you can live a life that’s free, fulfilling, and fully in your control.
If this resonates with you, let’s TALK. You always have the power to break your daily drinking habit, and I’m here to help you every step of the way.
Sonia Grimes, The Alcohol Control Coach
