Your Drinking Cycle Doesn’t Start with the First Glass

Mar 2, 2025

It’s evening. It’s time to unwind.

Time to relax, to be present with your family, or to be still with yourself—to let go of stress and welcome in peace.

Except you’ve spent the afternoon fighting your desire for a drink.

You’ve pleaded with yourself.

You’ve tried to rationalize why you want a glass of wine, even though you woke up this morning feeling terrible—guilty, ashamed, and hungover.

You’ve given yourself a stern talking to, reminded yourself of your earlier promise to have a night off—and yet, the harder you try to find the willpower to say “No,” the stronger the pull toward the bottle becomes.

It makes no sense.

You feel like crying.

You want to change.

You need to change.

And you feel like you can’t change.

Alcohol will always win. You will always lose.

And you drink. Again.

There Are No Mysteries About Why You Drink.

I know there are no mysteries around why you drink, or how much you drink.

And I know that your drinking has a pattern you cannot see, but always follow.

The truth is, you cannot change anything you don’t understand.

So the first step is to bring into your awareness your Drinking Cycle—how it starts and what drives it.

Because when you recognize those two things, you can start to break free.

You can start the journey back to control and back to the woman you truly are.

So, let’s dive in. Here’s your Drinking Cycle laid out clearly in front of you, exactly as it happens.

1. Waking Up in Regret

Before you open your eyes, before you even move, you feel it — the dull heavy weight of sadness pressing down on you. The dry mouth. The pounding head. The sharp stabs of f guilt. You try to remember how much you drank, what you said/did but the details are blurry.

And then the harsh self-recriminating thoughts hit, all at once, dragging you further into physical and emotional exhaustion

“Why did I do it again?”
“I said I wouldn’t drink.”
“I can’t keep doing this.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

And you have no answers.

Now you’ve set the tone for your day—a tone of sadness, confusion, and despair.

And as you lie there, willing yourself to get up, to face your day, to put on your mask of happiness, peace, and ‘I’m in control,’ you make the heartfelt decision not to drink again tonight.

You remind yourself it’s a new day, and today will be different.

You make the decision firmly, clearly—and you mean it.

And just for a bit, you do feel better.

You do feel happier.

You do feel in control.

2. The Stress Builds Throughout the Day

Your day begins, and the under the weight of the busyness, the too-much-to-do list start you start to wilt.

Work stress. Family responsibilities. A long to-do list. A hundred small things chipping away at your energy, your patience, your sense of calm.

And all of it builds.

By mid-afternoon, that morning determination feels further away.

By early evening, you’re tired. Irritated. Worn down

And then the whispers start.

3. Alcohol Noise Takes Over

“I deserve this.”
“Just one.”
“I need something to take the edge off.”

The battle commences. The fight no-one else can see, and you never win.

This is the real trap—the moment when your unconscious belief kicks in.

When your unconscious belief tells you that a drink really will make you feel better…

When you convince yourself that this time, it will be different…

That it’s OK to have ‘just one’…

That’s the moment the bottle is opened

And that moment is also the start of your morning-after despair.

Because it’s never ‘just one.’

And deep down, you already know it.

4. The First Sip and the Numbing Effect

By the time you take the first sip, the battle is already over.

The tension in your chest eases.

The noise quiets.

And for a moment, it feels like you’ve won.

For a moment, you think, “I needed this.”

Then the second drink comes.

The third.

The bottle.

And soon, you don’t care anymore.

Not about tomorrow. Not about how you’ll feel.

The noise is gone. The thoughts are gone.

You’re drinking now, and that’s all that matters.

5. The Night Fades Into a Blur

At some point, you stop noticing how much you’re drinking.

Maybe you text people and forget what you said.

Maybe you argue, get emotional, cry, or laugh too loudly.

Maybe you sit there, scrolling your phone, zoning out.

Maybe you wake up on the sofa, or in bed but unsure how you got there.

The details are hazy. The time disappears.

And then you make it to bed, convince yourself that you will fall asleep, when the truth is, you pass out.

6. Morning Comes, and So Does Reality

Your eyes open.

And the weight of it all comes crashing down.

The headache. The dry mouth. The sick feeling in your stomach.

And worse than that—the shame, the guilt, the feelings of failure and despair, and over again the same thoughts come;

“I did it again.”
“I said I wouldn’t.”
“What’s wrong with me?”

The same thoughts. The same guilt.

The same cycle, already starting over again.

Breaking the Drinking Cycle

When you start your day in self-criticism, fear, confusion, anxiety and guilt about your last nights drinking, you have set yourself up for the bottle of wine tonight. Do you recognise that now?

But what if, instead of repeating this cycle again, you chose something different?

What if tonight, alcohol wasn’t even a thought?

Awareness Exercise: Envisioning Your Empowered Evening

Here’s what I want you to do every morning.

Find you Quiet Space

Set aside 10–15 minutes in a comfortable, quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.

Sit down, close your eyes, and take several slow, deep breaths.

Feel your shoulders drop. Let go of the tension of the day. This is your moment.

Reflect on the Key Question

Ask yourself:

“If alcohol wasn’t even a thought in my mind tonight, what would I be doing instead?”

Write It Down

📝 What activity or self-care would fulfill my evening?
📝 How would I feel during these moments?
📝 How would this choice impact my mood, energy, and sense of control?

Put it all on paper—because once you see it, you can start living it.

This is how you start becoming the woman who no longer even thinks about drinking.

You don’t fight alcohol. You move beyond it.

Client Testimonial

*”I used to wake up every morning feeling like a failure. I had the same thoughts, the same regrets, the same promises to myself that I’d break by evening. I thought I had no willpower. I thought something was wrong with me.

Then I found this process. I started seeing the pattern I’d never seen before. And once I saw it, I could change it. Now, I wake up without guilt. I go to bed feeling proud. I never thought I could be this free. But I am. And if you’re reading this, you can be too.”*

Are You Ready to Stop the Cycle?

If you’re done with this cycle and ready to make alcohol irrelevant, Contact me HERE and let’s talk about your next step.

Sonia Grimes

The Alcohol Control Coach