It’s been a long day. Work, kids, husband and maybe all three. You are tired and still have to prepare dinner. The joys of womanhood. Still, it’s Wine O’clock and that large glass of wine will help won’t it? You will just have the one, which becomes two or three……. And how do you feel now? Truly relaxed? Or more tired, more stressed, less able to cope? Just one alcohol related scenario. I am sure you have many more.
Alcohol is an accepted part of everyday life. Yet there is a growing awareness that for many it takes so much more than it gives (and not just to our waistline), and more and more of us are either attempting to cut down or quit completely. Sadly, those decisions come with the worry that we will be missing out as well as fraught with concern that change to our alcohol habits will be an uphill struggle and further stress in our already overburdened lives.
I know it doesn’t have to be a struggle. I know that with a new way of thinking and some helpful strategies, change is both simple and peaceful. I know because of where I am now.
Here is my proven 5 step process, the one that so effectively worked for me, that will help you either cut down or stop drinking successfully & without willpower
- Understanding your drinking – we cannot change what we don’t understand
- Acknowledgement – of exactly where we are now and how we got there
- Accountability & Responsibilty – the awareness that comes from the above two steps offers the insight that allows you to make a different choice.
- The Choice Point – understanding the point where your choice is made, its consequences, and then making the best choice in the moment from a strong position of power.
- Learning a new normal – how to successfully navigate your new sober world. This is always my clients favourite step, they love feeling empowered and liberated as well as hangover free!
My Breakthrough Mentoring walks you through each phase, whilst giving you the support strategies for long term success. Together we unravel your personal confusing and conflicting alcohol understanding and experiences, as well as the powerful social conditioning around drinking.
This is not a painful experience unless you choose to view it that way, instead I work to reframe your understandable apprehension to excitment of the knowledge that you can be both happier and free.
“I hardly drink now and when I do I stick to my pre-planned limit! I can’t believe it. I feel well, happy and much stronger. I think understanding why I drank at the end of the day, how I expected it to make me feel even though I usually drank too much and felt worse made the biggest change. I don’t feel controlled anymore. I am the boss of my life choices”.
When we make the decision to change our drinking habits, whether we want to,
- control our drinking or
- stop drinking completely
we focus on they physical act of abstaining from alcohol.
A great first step (if you can do it), except for one thing, alcohol is not the root cause of problem drinking
However, by the time we do want to stop drinking, alchohol has, in our minds and lives, become a HUGE problem and source of great pain to both ourselves and our loved ones.
Sadly, in the very moment we truly want to stop drinking, we usually find we can’t.
It’s crazy, you want to change your drinking habits so badly, and you only have to not drink for up to 7 days for a physical addiction to pass, and still it seems beyond us. Why is that?
It is because we have become emotionally addicted to alcohol.
And when our powerful emotions have become engaged, our drinking feels as though it is a firmly entrenched part of who we have become, and we don’t understand how or why. Then with that lack of understanding, it is very difficult to find a way forward.
If you have read my book This Isn’t Me, you will understand when I say that I was emotionally addicted to alcohol for over 27 years, and how overwhelmingly more imprisoning emotional addiction is to physical addiction.
I drank because I felt I needed alcohol to make me feel better. To make me more interesting, less boring, more fun. To help me relax, to make me feel good enough (which I only ever wasn’t when I drank!). Does this sound familiar to you?
I drank to avoid unpleasant experiences/emotions/tough times. And it didn’t work. None of it It never does. I didn’t feel better, I felt worse. I didn’t drown out the experiences/emotions/tough times, I doubled them in every painful way.
I truly understand the pull of alcohol, and I truly know that not drinking was the best decision of my life.
I also know 100% that alcohol was not the problem. My drinking was the superficial behaviour that told myself and the world that there was a problem, but in truth, the problem was within me, I just didn’t know it, and because I didn’t know it, I didn’t focus on fixing my inner problem, I focused on trying to ‘fix’ the superficial behaviour of drinking.
I focus on the inner fix. Once that is dealt with, new behaviours follow automatically x
Take a little test. Do you ask yourselves these questions?
- “Am I drinking too much wine?”
- “Am I an alcoholic if I drink every night?
- “How do I stop drinking?”
- “How much is too much alcohol?”
- “How do I cut down on my drinking?”
If you do ask yourselves any of the above questions (or variations on these), you are already aware that you might have a problem which I can help you change.
Check out my How I Work For You & Practical Techniques for Recovery pages. Together we will find a way for you to live in this wonderful world alcohol free, where instead of hiding from your feelings, you feel them. You accept and acknowledge them, knowing that they will pass, both good and bad, knowing that you will cope and thrive and that with every passing experience, you will grow stronger and happier and enjoy the alcohol free life you deserve. x
My work with clients starts with an, Understanding Your Drinking session, a 90 minute in-depth discussion where I gather information around your habit, your thoughts, feelings and triggers. From there we work out a plan of action, both in practical and emotional terms that works just for you.
Understanding Your Drinking Mentoring Session (90 minutes), £130
Subsequent Mentoring sessions (60 mins), £60
I recommend a minimum of 3 Mentoring Sessions and offer various Mentoring packages which reduce the cost.
5 x 1 hour sessions £250 (1 hour free)
Call me today for a Complimentary 15 Minute ‘How I Can Help You Chat’ on
Tel: 00 44 (0) 7973359135
or through my email on my Contact page.
Location is no obstacle! I offer face to face, telephone and Skype consultations