How are you feeling today, this week, this month, with all the turmoil of LIFE, rising costs, and the uncertainties they bring?
Not how should you be feeling, (because, let’s face it, you only have to read the newspaper to know that other’s have it much worse than you).
How are YOU feeling, in YOUR life, in YOUR situations, with YOUR stresses, frustrations, YOUR fears, maybe around the actions you take of drinking too much, eating too much, giving too much or the anxiety of feeling overwhelmed, unheard……
And what do you DO with those feelings?
Do you brush them aside, try to hide them, push them down, not own them, because again, so many others have it so much worse, and probably have done especially in the last few years?
Listen to me lovely, and please take this on board…..
In YOUR life, YOU are first, YOU are the most important person to protect, care for love and support and no-one else can do it for you…..NO-ONE….partners, friends, family can enhance your wellbeing, they cannot, and should not, have any responsibility for CREATING any aspect of your physical and emotional wellbeing….your peace, your calm, your freedom to be your best you….
Your job is YOU, their job is THEM.
Earlier this year I was diagnosed with exhaustion…..and I was embarrassed to get that diagnosis.
Embarrassed because my LIFE has much less stress and anxieties than many others. The most important person in my LIFE, my son, is grown, safe and secure, he has a job he loves, a girl he loves and who loves him. I have family and the best friends a woman could have, I have love and respect, and I am beyond grateful for all of these wonderful gifts.
And then, as this way of LIFE, a couple of events happened, which out of respect for my loved ones I won’t go into, their stories that aren’t mine to tell, I seemed to implode….not in the months I was needed to be my best, but when I was no longer in crisis living, and could breathe again.
That’s when I started to crash….to go down in my physical and emotional wellbeing, and even with everything I know as a Master Coach, with every tool I have I know completely works, with every daily prayer of gratitude I said, I would not acknowledge that I was allowed to feel the way I did.
And yet I was exhausted. My stutter came back, and all I wanted to do was cry and sleep…….and instead, I tried to pull myself together, remind myself of how lucky I am and soldier on……until I couldn’t, and then I stopped, and in that stopping, I gave myself permission to be how I was feeling and in doing that, to heal
To rest, to recover, to eat well, be outside, to connect with nature, to talk to my friends and family when I needed to, and to not talk when I didn’t need to. To lie on the sofa with my Girls (dogs) at the end of the day with a cup of tea, to not let anyone in that I didn’t have the energy for, and to protect my energy with self-loving BOUNDARIES of SELF-CARE
And I got better, slowly and gently, in the way my body and mind needed.
And I have taken so much from that experience that I am so grateful for. It has been a huge growth curve of greater awareness of myself, and my needs, and I feel better now than I have in the last 2 years, easily.
And now I want to share those loving learning’s with you, because when your low times come, they need to be acknowledged, honoured and comforted by YOU, so here’s what I know so far…..🧡
YOU have to set BOUNDARIES around you….
Not the usual harsh ‘Don’t drink/eat/shop’ BOUNDARIES that offer no comfort or support, but gently firm, self-protecting ones of ‘When I need rest, I rest’, ‘I say NO with love and grace when I don’t want/can’t do something’
Some of your BOUNDARIES are that you set aside time to eat, to be outside, to connect with loved ones.
If you don’t set your BOUNDARIES, others will set them for you, and they will be BOUNDARIES that work for them, not you…..even your loved ones will do this, innocently.
And if you aren’t used to setting BOUNDARIES, and anything new can seem daunting, start with a small one, something you KNOW you need to do….maybe its 10 minutes in the morning, where the family don’t disturb you, so that you can sit with a cup of tea and just give gratitude…..and if it means you get up 10 minutes earlier, that’s part of the BOUNDARY for you!
YOU have to practice consistent SELF-CARE, inconsistent SELF-CARE is like a spa day you take when you are exhausted.
The SELF-CARE I am talking about keeps you from getting to that point of exhaustion and all the overwhelm and frustration that you collect on the route there!
True SELF-CARE are the daily practices that keep you balanced and aligned. I read every morning, I dance for 10 minutes every morning, I pray and give gratitude every morning….These are just some of my non-negotiable SELF-CARE practices that take so little time and gift me back peace, balance, ME.
What SELF-CARE practices work for you?
YOU have to SPEAK…..
You have to learn to use your VOICE, to ask for help, to say that you need to be celebrated for what you do, to be acknowledged for who you are…..asking to be celebrated and acknowledged is just as important as speaking when you are in need.
When you stay silent, nothing changes…..so SPEAK
If you are not used to speaking, to being heard, so what, start now. Just take small steps, practice what you want to say, keeping your tone kind…..it works wonders, you just have to do it x
Don’t live IN your life circumstances……
Your feelings of stress, frustration and overwhelm do not come from your life circumstances, they come from how you VIEW the circumstances……from looking at life within any situation, you see more of the problems, by taking a couple of deep, long, slow breathes, you create ‘distance’ between the situation and your response, and in that distance, no matter how small, you have the opportunity to view every aspect of life, with greater awareness, compassion, forgiveness, as well as possibilities……..isn’t that a gift!
Ultimately all these learning’s and how to deliver them, come wrapped in one easy to deliver, always available, never changing solution….
YOU take RESPONSIBILITY for YOU…. gentle, self-accepting, self-loving, self-compassionate, self-forgiving, self-inquiring responsibility for you. because when you do, every aspect of life becomes easier.
Don’t look for, or expect the world around you to change, look to change the world within you, that is where all your joy, peace and freedom from frustration, stress, overwhelm, whatever is getting down, exists. That is the simple TRUTH. I promise you.
Be kind and gentle with yourself
Sonia xx
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